I totally unclogged the sink in the bathroom this morning. Usually it's all taking in water as fast as a death-bed lung-cancer patient takes in oxygen, but now it's draining just right.
I stood there and watched for a minute or so as water flowed out of the faucet and down into the drain at nearly the same rate, even though the faucet was on full tilt! Amazing!
I also found out that the windows in this place actually latch, though they do so in a way I was previously unfamiliar with. The latches, as it turns out, are the key to turning this place from a drafty freezer into a fairly comfortable domicile.
And I'm fairly certain that spending a day off of school to attack household inefficiencies by one's own volition is the method by which crotchety old men are created.
There ought to be a version of Scrabble that uses numbers rather than letters. So there is a bag full of tiles with single digit numbers on them and players take turns putting their tiles onto the board in such a manner as to construct longer sequences of numbers.
It would mostly go against the premise of Scrabble: An outlet for Dictionary fetishists. But at least no one would feel like an idiot and the games would go much faster.
Why print anything on the tiles at all if there are no rules governing which tiles can and cannot be played fairly?
Why not just take turns putting tiles onto a board? Maybe you could use the tiles to try to make a kind of a picture. That could be fun. of course, you'd get better designs if just one person played, probably. Or there could be a race to see who can make an image (selected from a card) first.
Or maybe instead of a card from which you'd simply copy an image, what if you had clues about where you were supposed to put tiles so as to make an image. Maybe a series of numbers on the end of each column and row which would define how many consecutive tiles should be placed on that line or column. If there were a 9 on the line, you'd put nine consecutive tiles. If it said 4,2 you'd put four tiles, and then two tiles. Of course, the number clues wouldn't tell you WHERE on the line the four tiles and the two tiles would go, you'd have to figure that out by using all the clues together.
And we could call it Picross and it would be awesome and I would play it every day for like three months straight.
I still don't understand Picross. Or, I don't understand how the reward (completed picture) is worth the time and effort required to put little tiles in the right place.
Perhaps if instead of a picture at the end there were some sort of oral sex involved. And what if there were no tiles or numbers involved but rather in addition to this oral sex there were some sort of additional fornication between, say, the two people involved in the oral sex.
I think that would be an enjoyable use of one's time.
I got laid off today from my awesome job. Sigh, I knew it wouldn't last forever but it is sad to see it go. I guess now I am going to have to join the ranks of corporate employee's who hate their lives.
I say that rather than find a new job you hate we pool our resources and start the next myspace, google, facebook, youtube, and WoW and make millions of dollars with which we can rent one room apartments and buy stacks of books to read.
You know how most of the time when Carlos Mencia is being photographed, he's doing something like this? I think he thinks he's doing something with those hands that he's not actually doing, so here are some ideas of what he might think he's doing.
It's crazy how every time someone takes a picture of him he's like "ok, I made it look like I was thinking really hard last time, and I don't need any more angry shouting pictures, so I'll pretend that I'm rolling dice in a very flamboyant way."
It's like how every time a flashbulb goes off, Lewis Black fucking points at something.
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the guy is M. Ward. The Song is called Chinese Translation. The album is called Post-War.
ReplyDeleteyou should all buy the album, it is very good
You made the [chat] correctly!
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud. :)
/hug
OMGZ FORE TEH ROXIN
"you should all buy the album, it is very good"
ReplyDeleteBuy an album?
I totally unclogged the sink in the bathroom this morning. Usually it's all taking in water as fast as a death-bed lung-cancer patient takes in oxygen, but now it's draining just right.
ReplyDeleteI stood there and watched for a minute or so as water flowed out of the faucet and down into the drain at nearly the same rate, even though the faucet was on full tilt! Amazing!
I also found out that the windows in this place actually latch, though they do so in a way I was previously unfamiliar with. The latches, as it turns out, are the key to turning this place from a drafty freezer into a fairly comfortable domicile.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm fairly certain that spending a day off of school to attack household inefficiencies by one's own volition is the method by which crotchety old men are created.
That drain was forever engaged in an epic battle against clog. It is good to know that it finally received some assistance.
ReplyDeleteYou have a day off school?
Oh yeah.
Rant incomming.
I must have a Black Mage Fish!
ReplyDeleteI is cannot see. :(
ReplyDeleteWhy is the Fed is worried about inflation?
ReplyDeleteBee sex.
ReplyDeleteOh, Cincinnati
ReplyDeleteIt's not a slow news day...it's a no news day.
ReplyDeleteTesco on Jan 22'08 at 8:34am
ReplyDeleteget a brain
That's some quality.
ReplyDeleteIt has come to my attention that there exist posts with weeble content that do not have the weeble label. Get your weebles in order, Sonny!
ReplyDeleteAlso, where did the lolRaek link go?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCitrus Marinaded Chicken is wonderous.
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
For that is ALL. EVERYTHING.
SUM TOTALLITY OF THAT WHICH IS.
Instead of playing WoW for another day in a row I decided to do something else tonight.
ReplyDeleteSo I took a nap.
While napping? I dreamed about WoW.
I need a fucking girlfriend.
So that you can exchange one proper noun for another?
ReplyDeleteBasically, yes.
ReplyDeleteI find that when there is more than one proper noun in one's description of one's free time then life is far too complex.
That and I'm an obsessive little prick.
ReplyDeleteTrue dead baby jokes are far funnier than fabrications.
ReplyDeleteToday's Zero Punctuation is about The Witcher. I cannot watch it because I am at work.
ReplyDeleteI WANT TO WATCH!!
duck
ReplyDeleteduck
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GOOSE
There ought to be a version of Scrabble that uses numbers rather than letters. So there is a bag full of tiles with single digit numbers on them and players take turns putting their tiles onto the board in such a manner as to construct longer sequences of numbers.
ReplyDeleteIt would mostly go against the premise of Scrabble: An outlet for Dictionary fetishists. But at least no one would feel like an idiot and the games would go much faster.
It would also probably be more fun.
Scrabble is a stupid game.
Why print anything on the tiles at all if there are no rules governing which tiles can and cannot be played fairly?
ReplyDeleteWhy not just take turns putting tiles onto a board? Maybe you could use the tiles to try to make a kind of a picture. That could be fun. of course, you'd get better designs if just one person played, probably. Or there could be a race to see who can make an image (selected from a card) first.
Or maybe instead of a card from which you'd simply copy an image, what if you had clues about where you were supposed to put tiles so as to make an image. Maybe a series of numbers on the end of each column and row which would define how many consecutive tiles should be placed on that line or column. If there were a 9 on the line, you'd put nine consecutive tiles. If it said 4,2 you'd put four tiles, and then two tiles. Of course, the number clues wouldn't tell you WHERE on the line the four tiles and the two tiles would go, you'd have to figure that out by using all the clues together.
And we could call it Picross and it would be awesome and I would play it every day for like three months straight.
I still don't understand Picross. Or, I don't understand how the reward (completed picture) is worth the time and effort required to put little tiles in the right place.
ReplyDeletePerhaps if instead of a picture at the end there were some sort of oral sex involved. And what if there were no tiles or numbers involved but rather in addition to this oral sex there were some sort of additional fornication between, say, the two people involved in the oral sex.
I think that would be an enjoyable use of one's time.
I got laid off today from my awesome job. Sigh, I knew it wouldn't last forever but it is sad to see it go. I guess now I am going to have to join the ranks of corporate employee's who hate their lives.
ReplyDelete0.0
ReplyDeleteI say that rather than find a new job you hate we pool our resources and start the next myspace, google, facebook, youtube, and WoW and make millions of dollars with which we can rent one room apartments and buy stacks of books to read.
ReplyDeleteAlso, that's not my trick.
ReplyDeleteIt's my ILLUSION!
Disaronno is delicious.
ReplyDeleteYou know how most of the time when Carlos Mencia is being photographed, he's doing something like this? I think he thinks he's doing something with those hands that he's not actually doing, so here are some ideas of what he might think he's doing.
ReplyDeleteDelicious!
What skill!
Play Another One Rides the Bus!
wonderful
ReplyDeleteIt's crazy how every time someone takes a picture of him he's like "ok, I made it look like I was thinking really hard last time, and I don't need any more angry shouting pictures, so I'll pretend that I'm rolling dice in a very flamboyant way."
ReplyDeleteIt's like how every time a flashbulb goes off, Lewis Black fucking points at something.
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