ROXIE: I'm going to get a pet bird MASON: Don't get a bird ROXIE: Why not? MASON: Because they're weird, man I can't relate to a bird, they are so far removed, theyve got different chromosomes.and they come from eggs ROXIE: They've got faces MASON: So do cockroaches (longer pause) MASON: I mean, what you going to do with a bird? ROXIE: Stick it in a cage and feed it, what do you think i'm going to do with it MASON: I think you should get one that you can eat
ROXIE: (looks agast)Im going to get a freind, I'm not going to eat my friend MASON: They have brains the size of pistachios, it's not smart enough to be your freind ROXIE: You dont know what you are talking about, I saw this special on PBS called "Animal Miracles" and they did a dramic re-enactment of a guy being robbed and he had a parrot or a cockatiel or something and that bird lost its shit when it's owner was attacked, it opened up it's cage... MASON: Woah, why would you put a bird in a cage if it can open the door? ROXIE: Where else are you going to put it? It opened up it's cage and went crazy, pecked out the guy's eyes, scratched his face, messed his face up like Tippy Hedren or some shit so don't tell me that's not friendship (Annoyed at Mason for being Mason. Both of them pick up the menus again and after a pause) MASON: How big was this parrot? ROXIE: I don't know, parrot size MASON: Well a parrot can't take on a fully grown man, unless this man is a big pussy ROXIE: I didn't say the parrot won. The robber stabbed it with a fork and killed his owner. the bird is dead MASON: So why do you want a bird? ROXIE: It's not about Homeland security you stupid motherfucker, I'm going to get a friend MASON: (under his breath)Jesus
This is more win.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I want a bird.
Dead Like Me
ReplyDeleteTranscript:
ROXIE: I'm going to get a pet bird
MASON: Don't get a bird
ROXIE: Why not?
MASON: Because they're weird, man I can't relate to a bird, they are
so far removed, theyve got different chromosomes.and they come from
eggs
ROXIE: They've got faces
MASON: So do cockroaches
(longer pause)
MASON: I mean, what you going to do with a bird?
ROXIE: Stick it in a cage and feed it, what do you think i'm going to
do with it
MASON: I think you should get one that you can eat
ROXIE: (looks agast)Im going to get a freind, I'm not going to eat my
friend
MASON: They have brains the size of pistachios, it's not smart enough to be
your freind
ROXIE: You dont know what you are talking about, I saw this special on PBS
called "Animal Miracles" and they did a dramic re-enactment of a guy
being robbed and he had a parrot or a cockatiel or something and that
bird lost its shit when it's owner was attacked, it opened up it's
cage...
MASON: Woah, why would you put a bird in a cage if it can open the
door?
ROXIE: Where else are you going to put it?
It opened up it's cage and went crazy, pecked out the guy's eyes,
scratched his face, messed his face up like Tippy Hedren or some shit
so don't tell me that's not friendship (Annoyed at Mason for being
Mason. Both of them pick up the menus again and after a pause)
MASON: How big was this parrot?
ROXIE: I don't know, parrot size
MASON: Well a parrot can't take on a fully grown man, unless this man
is a big pussy
ROXIE: I didn't say the parrot won. The robber stabbed it with a fork
and killed his owner. the bird is dead
MASON: So why do you want a bird?
ROXIE: It's not about Homeland security you stupid motherfucker, I'm
going to get a friend
MASON: (under his breath)Jesus
So, apparently, I need to watch Dead Like Me.
ReplyDeleteDead Like Me was a really good while it lasted.
ReplyDeleteThat's.. some good banter.
ReplyDeleteagreed. I've seen all of season 1 and random episodes in season 2.
ReplyDeletethe movie that came out a few years ago - terrible, give it a pass.
all, or most of it is streaming on netflix