Psych + Goth Larisa Oleynik = Retraction

While it does not happen very often, I sometimes make a mistake. The majority of these mistakes are fairly mild, involving life choices, money, or people’s feelings. But when I make a serious mistake, a mistake of meaning and consequence, I need to admit that I was, in fact, wrong.

Four years and eight days ago I wrote the lyrics to a song about why Psych is fucking stupid. I thought it was witty and mildly entertaining. I mean, come on:

This one time something happened
For reasons we don't know
So now he pretends to be psychic
Cause that's the premise of this show

That is kind of good. It succinctly summarizes both the premise to Psych, and why I dislike it. On that point, I maintain that I was correct; the premise to Psych is a bit shoddy. However, I must admit that I did make a mistake in calling the entire series fucking stupid, since the entirety of the series is not stupid. Is most of it stupid? Yes. Is a vast chunk of it stupid? Of course. But there is one saving grace to Psych. What is it?

Well, I just watched Season 4, episode 8. And in this episode Larisa Oleynik guest stars as a goth chick.

Couple things.

First, goth chicks are hot. Damn hot. Like, hottest of possible hots. Second, I’ve had a crush on Larisa Oleynik ever since she started turning into little puddles of mercury on The Secret World of Alex Mack. She was also adorable in 10 Things I Hate About You, that Taming of the Shrew knockoff. So, the combination of Mercury Puddle Chick with goth is something that pleases me. And Psych is the means by which it happened.

For that reason, I admit that I made a mistake. I officially cannot hate Psych, officially, since it provided me with Larisa Oleynik, dresses as a goth chick, wearing a dog collar:



It is important to admit when one makes mistakes. To make amends, I’d like to add two more verses to the song.

We’re now in our fourth season,
And since that’s kind of cool
Here’s Oleynik as a goth chick,
To make the fanboys drool.

Her brother’s Josh Malina,
Who was in the West Wing
She’s got dyed hair, a collar,
And a little nasal ring.

She also wears a corset
That’s shiny, tight, and black
To accentuate the body,
Of little Alex Mack.

Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill!

It’s kind of a non sequitur
To have her in the show
But it was for a reason
A good one, we’ll have you know

See, we added this here goth chick
To force _J_ to retract
His claim that Psych is stupid
Because he’s blessed with tact.

We’ll all now come together
All thanks to T and A
Of which we have some screenshots
So hip, and hip, horray!

Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill!