Wednesday, August 1, 2007

"Psych" is fucking stupid.

The premise of this show is asinine. From IMDB, "A novice sleuth (Roday) is hired by the police after he cons them into thinking he has psychic powers that help solve crimes."

Except the only way one can understand WHY he pretends to have psychic powers is to see the first episode, where he pretends to be psychic to avoid some sort of conflict I don't remember. Then for some reason they build an entire series out of, "This one time this guy lied and said he was psychic so that he wouldn't be punished for this thing we don't remember, and now he has to continue to perpetuate the lie or else they'll retroactively punish him for whatever he did or maybe didn't do in the first episode that he somehow rectified by pretending to be psychic."

What a solid foundation upon which to build.

**Update**

The least they could have done is write a theme song that would explain the situation. Because if you're going to have a show with an asinine premise the least you can do is write a song to play before each episode to remind viewers of why this is happening. Something like:

This one time something happened
For reasons we don't know
So now he pretends to be psychic
Cause that's the premise of this show

He could probably just explain himself
And the problem would go away
But then the show would vanish
And none of us would get paid

So sit your ass down and watch it
Or we will cause you pain
Or, if you like, grab a beverage
While we sing the refrain

Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill!

This guy pretends to be psychic
When, actually, he's not
It's the best we could come up with
Why, what have you got?

Dule Hill is kinda funny
And the jokes are sometimes good
But the premise is retarded
Don't change the channel, though you should

The show is gonna start soon
Cause the song is almost done
He fucking pretends to be psychic
Man, how can that not be fun?

Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill!

We added some more verses
Because the credits are pretty long
We fucking hate this show
And we fucking hate this song

It's a USA original
Which means that it sucks ass
If a friend suggests that you watch it
We suggest that you pass

Ok, the credits ended.
So this song can now stop
Shawn Spencer should be castrated
Dule Hill should not

Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill! Dule Hill!

17 comments:

Roscoe said...

I love how bitter you are over this, when the premise is about as equally stated as Monk.. you know.. the vast award winning series it's patterned after?

it's the smallest nit you could pick.. and it's like a festering wound for you.

_J_ said...

Monk's premise is a part of the character. The character himself is anal-retentive or whatever. So it can be repeated throughtout the show.

The foundation of Psych is a misunderstanding that happens in the first episode. The only way to reinforce or explain THAT premise is through flashbacks or a character saying, "Hey, remember that one time? When that thing happend? And now you have to pretend to be psychic? Man, that was so well explained."

Mike Lewis said...

i see no reason why you ought to go to grad school j.

with song writing skills like that, you could write a string of mediocre pop songs for Disney Channel pop starts!

also, Psych Sucks, Dule Hill does not.

_J_ said...

I agree. My future does not lie in academia.

My future lies on the Disney channel writing pop lyrics for jailbait.

Caleb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Caleb said...

and just after that, in that jail.
such a paedophile.

Seriously nice lyrics though.

_J_ said...

They capture the essence of the show.

Roscoe said...

You understand that the point of Shawn's character is that he was forced by his dad, the cop, to notice shit as a way to make him focus. and.. that's part of the character?

You don't WATCH the show.. and yet you rail against it's supposed crimes.. I think you belong on Fox, as a .... cultural critic?

Roscoe said...

I can't belive I'm rising to your bait over this either..


USA? biggest basic cable station there is, surprisingly. Their original series? ALL of them do absurdly well in comparison to other stations. surprises me as well.

_J_ said...

His dad made him pay attention to things so now he has to pretend to be a psychic. Of course! How could anyone find fault with that?

Roscoe said...

hang on.... his dad was overbearing... so he's rebelled, grown into a slacker. His dad disapproves, leaving Shawn with a need to prove himself. So he does.. in a character fitting way... elements of slack and one-up-manship. All of this is continually spelled out on the show, too.

Did you have this problem with Scooby-Doo?

_J_ said...

The premise of Scooby Doo made sense. They were kids driving around in a van solving mysteries with a talking dog. That I can accept.

Psych is retarded.

And that whole, "bla bla his dad bla bla doesn't explain anything" argument? Usually in an episode there will be a scene where he says something he knows as a result of his observations, and then Dule or someone will look at him and he will have an "OH SHITS" moment and then pretent to be psychic, or say something to cover his statement such as, "Of course, I only know this because i'm psychic".

Because it's stupid.

Roscoe said...

I think you're just bitter becuase you're not friends with uptight Dule Hill and his Super Sniffer.

_J_ said...

I read that as "Super Stiffer" the first few times and didn't know what you were inferring about Dule.

Roscoe said...

I take that misreading as further proof that you are diametrically opposed to Whimsy in any form.

I suspect that's your true beef with the show. It's not FOR you. You have no whimsy, see.

_J_ said...

I think you are confused.

Whimsy:

1. capricious humor or disposition; extravagant, fanciful, or excessively playful expression: a play with lots of whimsy.
2. an odd or fanciful notion.
3. anything odd or fanciful; a product of playful or capricious fancy: a whimsy from an otherwise thoughtful writer.

Psych:
See "Fucking stupid".

Roscoe said...

Are you saying Dule Hill is not Whimsical?

Are you saying the con Shawn and Gus run is not extravagant, fanciful, and excessively playful?

Hoist upon your own petard, sir, and with that I claim victory.

You are Whimsy-Blind.