We're playing around with google ads. Excuse the mess.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
John Hughes Died
Bethany: Jersey's pretty far from McHenry, may I ask what brought you here?
Jay: Some fuck named John Hughes.
Bethany: "16 Candles" John Hughes?
Jay: You know that guy, too? That fucking guy. Made this flick "16 Candles". Not bad, there's tits in it, but no bush. But Ebert over here don't give a shit about that kind of thing cause he's like all in love with this John Hughes guy; goes out and rents like every one of his movies. Fucking "Breakfast Club" where all these stupid kids actually show up for detention. Fucking "Weird Science" where this babe wants to take off her gear and get down, but oh, no she don't because it's a PG movie. And then, "Pretty In Pink" which I can't even watch with this tubby bitch any more, cause everytime we get to the part where the red head hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little bitch with a skinned knee and shit. And there's nothing worse than watching a fucking fat man weep.
Bethany: What exactly brought you to Illinois?
Jay: See, all these movies take place in a small town called Sherman, Illinois, where all the honies are top-shelf, but all the dudes are whiny pussies - except for Judd Nelson, he was fuckin' harsh - but best of all, there was no one dealin', man; then, it hits me: we could live like phat rats if we were the blunt connection in Sherman, Illinois. So we collected some money of our own, and caught a bus. You know what the fuck we found out when we got there? There is no Sherman, Illinois. Movies are fuckin' bullshit.
G4's Patrick Klepek inquired as to the future of the X-Wing, Tie Fighter, and X-Wing vs. Tie Fighter series during an interview with LucasArts president Darrel Rodriguez, who teased us like the teasing teaser that he so obviously is.
"We don't have any announcements now, but stay tuned," said Rodriguez. "We will soon….."
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Listening to Orly Taitz and the Birthers say crazy shit made me wonder if there is a way to argue for Obama's status of "natural born citizen" without relying upon the existence of a birth certificate. If one grants the Birther's premise that Obama was born in Kenya to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr. and Stanley Ann Dunham Obama Soetoro is it possible for Barack Obama to be considered a 'natural born citizen' absent a birth certificate from Hawaii?
It seemed sensible to check TITLE 8 > CHAPTER 12 > SUBCHAPTER III > Part I > § 1401 of the U.S. code which provides eight criteria by which one may be considered a citizen of the United States at birth. Just for fun, let's go through them assuming
1) Barack Obama was born in Kenya on August 4, 1961.
2) Obama's mother, Stanley Ann Dunham Obama Soetoro, is a U.S. Citizen.
3) Obama's father, Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., is neither a U.S. citizen nor a U.S. national.
Alright, Birthers. Game on!
(a) a person born in the United States...
(b) a person born in the United States...
(c) a person born outside of the United States and its outlying possessions of parents both of whom are citizens of the United States...
Nope; This doesn't look good!
(d) a person born outside of the United States and its outlying possessions of parents one of whom is a citizen of the United States who has been physically present in the United States or one of its outlying possessions for a continuous period of one year prior to the birth of such person, and the other of whom is a national, but not a citizen of the United States;
Nope. Remember, Barack Hussein Obama, Sr. is neither a national nor a citizen.
(e) a person born in an outlying possession of the United States...
Nope. Remember, we are assuming that Obama was born in Kenya; Kenya is not an "outlying posession" of the United States.
(f) a person of unknown parentage found in the United States...
Nope. The Birther's argument rests on our knowing who Obama's parents are. But I do find great delight in the fact that we have a provision for "if we find a kid".
(g) a person born outside the geographical limits of the United States and its outlying possessions of parents one of whom is an alien, and the other a citizen of the United States who, prior to the birth of such person, was physically present in the United States or its outlying possessions for a period or periods totaling not less than five years, at least two of which were after attaining the age of fourteen years...
Huzzah! Barack Obama is a Natural Born United States Citizen! Given that Barack Obama's mother is a U.S. Citizen, was born in 1942, and enrolled in the University of Hawaii at Mānoa in 1960 she would have been in the United States for 18 years and fulfilled section G of TITLE 8 > CHAPTER 12 > SUBCHAPTER III > Part I > § 1401 of the U.S. Code.
Better luck next time, shitheads.