Thursday, August 6, 2009

Some fuck named John Hughes died

John Hughes Died

Bethany: Jersey's pretty far from McHenry, may I ask what brought you here?

Jay: Some fuck named John Hughes.

Bethany: "16 Candles" John Hughes?

Jay: You know that guy, too? That fucking guy. Made this flick "16 Candles". Not bad, there's tits in it, but no bush. But Ebert over here don't give a shit about that kind of thing cause he's like all in love with this John Hughes guy; goes out and rents like every one of his movies. Fucking "Breakfast Club" where all these stupid kids actually show up for detention. Fucking "Weird Science" where this babe wants to take off her gear and get down, but oh, no she don't because it's a PG movie. And then, "Pretty In Pink" which I can't even watch with this tubby bitch any more, cause everytime we get to the part where the red head hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little bitch with a skinned knee and shit. And there's nothing worse than watching a fucking fat man weep.

Bethany: What exactly brought you to Illinois?

Jay: See, all these movies take place in a small town called Sherman, Illinois, where all the honies are top-shelf, but all the dudes are whiny pussies - except for Judd Nelson, he was fuckin' harsh - but best of all, there was no one dealin', man; then, it hits me: we could live like phat rats if we were the blunt connection in Sherman, Illinois. So we collected some money of our own, and caught a bus. You know what the fuck we found out when we got there? There is no Sherman, Illinois. Movies are fuckin' bullshit.


kylebrown said...

He will be missed. I will watch Breakfast club this weekend in his honor.

Mike Lewis said...

i fucking hate the end of Pretty in Pink...

Mike Lewis said...

i cannot understand why Molly Ringwald would hook up with the the Blame, the preppiest asshole in the preppy asshole club.

Yes, ducky is a stalker and a loser, but at least enjoy molly ringwald for who she is.

also, Harry Dean Stanton needs to be in every movie.

Roscoe said...

It's okay that I never forgave him for Home Alone 2, right?

or the Beethovens?

Oh, Christ. He directed Dutch?

I take it all back. Gonna go buy a 40 now, and pour one out for a criminally underrated movie.

Roscoe said...


Ahh. Makes more sense.

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