Saturday, April 23, 2011

[chat]ing to make America America again

it is all Rick sSntorum all the time here on Everyone is a Sith.

FANG: Today, you unveiled your new campaign slogan, “Fighting to make America America again.” But was it intentional that this line was borrowed from the pro-union poem by the gay poet Langston Hughes?

SANTORUM: No, because I had nothing to do with that so–

FANG: Oh, alright thanks. Wait did you have a clarification there? Was it just a coincidence?

SANTORUM: I didn’t know that. The folks who worked on that slogan for me didn’t inform me that that’s where it came from, if in fact it came from that.

FANG: Do you like Langston Hughes? Is he a favorite poet?

SANTORUM: I’ve read some of his poems. I’m not a big poetry guy so I can’t say I have a favorite poet, sorry.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Zero Punctuation: Pokemon White / Black



Yes.

Yes.

Just, yes.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Stolen from elsewhere on This Vast Tubery

Happy Birthday, Adolf Hitler!

One hundred twenty-two years ago
A tiny gift of joy
Was born to unto the Hitlers
As a precious baby boy

With itsy-bitsy fingers
And wiggly little toes
A Charlie Chaplin moustache
Beneath his button nose

The twinkle of his parent’s eyes
They’d never be apart
From this tiny gift of heaven
The Fuhrer of their hearts

A promise of potential
Giggling at peekaboo
A gift of love and treasure
And the downfall of the jews.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Santorum: Making America America, not not-America

"Fighting to make America America again."

America is not America. So, America must be made into America, again, in order that America will be America rather than America. For if America continues to be America, rather than America, then America cannot be America, since it is only America.

Presumably, Santorum thinks that since we need to make America America, it cannot be the case that America is America, since America is not America. What he ought to have written is, "to make not-America America again." So that means that he wants to make not-America America.

But how can not-America be America? Either America is America, or not-America is not-America. America cannot be not-America, just as not-America cannot be America. So, how could not-America ever be America?

The only way to make not-America America is for not-America to be America, and so not-not-America. But is not-not-America the same as America? Would not America and not-not-America be two different Americas? Yet if not-not-America is, in fact, America, then is not not-America only one not from being America? Or, said another way, America is only one not from being not-America, which would be not-not-America, and, so, America.

America is not America. Rather, America is America, which is not-America. We must return America to a state of being America. For if America is not-America, how can we be Americans?

Yet, interestingly, Santorum is an American. But since America is not America, Santorum must be a not-American, unless Santorum is an American, since he is from America, but from America, not not-America. For if Santorum was from not-America, he would be a not-American. That is, of course, unless one can be American without being from America, since none can be from America, since America is not America. Yet how could one be from America, if we must make America America, since America is not-America? If there exists persons from America, and not not-America, then would there not, necessarily, have to be an America from which Americans are from? It seems obvious that if there are Americans, there must be an America; the problem is that America is not America, since America is not-America.

I hope it is obvious to you, now, that Santorum is right: Americans must make America America again. Yet, of course, not-Americans cannot make not-America America; only Americans can make America America. But how are we to tell American from not-American? How do we know if one is from America or America?

Well, as Dr. Seuss wrote:

Now, the Star-Bell Sneetches had bellies with stars. The Plain-Belly Sneetches had none upon thars.

Obviously, then, both Americans and not-Americans must check their bellies to discern who is from America and who is not from America, since they are from not-America, which some take to be America, despite the fact that Santorum is most strongly convinced that it is not. For this reason, we must make America America, again.