Saturday, October 25, 2008

Laser Cats [chat]

Damn you, Doctor Scientist!

Laser Cats 1
Laser Cats 2
Laser Cats 3

Olbermann: Bill-O Victimized by Vast Viewer Conspiracy

I just like listening to Keith do the Bill-O Voice.

Maddow: Fruit Flies and Scientists


Friday, October 24, 2008

Hellgate London: Dead

You know, we've received a lot of hits thanks to our Hellgate London Posts. So, it will be sad to see this trend come to an end once Hellgate London Fucking Dies:

Flagship Studio's troubled demon hunting MMO will be shut down at midnight on January 31st 2009. Namco Bandai, who have been running the Hellgate servers since Flagship went under, say that the game will be free to play until it is shut down.
I bet those assholes who paid $149.99 for a lifetime subscription feel like, well, assholes right now.

SNL: Bush Endorses McCain

A vote for John McCain is a vote for George W. Bush.

McCain: Agree / Disagree / Agree / Patriotic!

Now that's just fucking eloquent.

Maddow: Diagnosis...OBAMA!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Sarah Palin: Vice President In Charge of Senate

Jesus Panty-Sniffing Christ Sarah Palin is one stupid fucking cunt.

Jon Stewart: Pro-American Clarification

Chuck Todd Calls the Election Does not Turn around or Spit

I don't mean to tempt fate or anythning but...

Long ago the editors of this blog declared Chuck Todd to be a God. Sometime around 1am the night of the Indiana and North Carolina primary Cluck said there was no way for Clinton to win nomination.

Well Chuck has done it again. This morning on Morning Joe he moves Colorado, Virginia and Florida into the obama column (not sure if this is an offical move my msnbc or speculation on his part of the segment). If this is the case that is 313 EV for obama. Watch.

The most important part of this video "McCain has no ground game" All politics are local, and there are not people going door to door in PA, FL or MO, then this thing is over. Excuse me while i go outside turn around three times and spit.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Jenny McCarthy: Autism is, in fact, funny.

Jenny McCarthy: Denis Leary is "Stupid"

You know, I don't care that much about entertainment news. It's usually little more than mindless fluff meant to garner attention and so money. The problem is when ignorant sluts attack people I like. So I would like to point out that Denis Leary is awesome, Jenny McCarthy is a slut, and Autistic kids are stupid. Really stupid. Well, stupid at most things. They seem to be very adept at stacking items or placing things in lines. Well, physical things. They're not so adept at putting, say, thoughts into lines of a rational sort.

And Autism is a great punch line. Consider the humor in a sad, crying parent pouring their heart out as they hopelessly grasp at assistance for their autistic child. The gut-wrenching sadness of a depressed parent seeking out any and all resources to aid their beloved offspring, perfect if not for that genetic mental disorder which renders them incapable of self-sustained survival. Reflect upon the frustrated fury of a parent whose child cannot find the help it needs, the educational modifications it requires. Delight in the leveling-down of society to a state in which it aids those with detrimental genetic diseases rather than, say, set them on fire and solve the fucking problem.

Of course, that is not to say that autism is the best punch line. AIDS is pretty funny. Cancer is funny too. So while Autism is a great punch line it's not the best punch line. Now, an autistic child who is born with AIDS who then contracts Cancer? That's a fucking awesome punch line.

Oh, and the kid was in one of the 9/11 towers.

And has Polio.

At some point the human species will pull its collective head out of its collective ass, rationally and objectively assess reality, and so discern the facticity of its existence and the truth of its being. The human species will one day realize that individual, particular people are replaceable, that propagating the survival of carriers of genetic diseases is detrimental to the whole. One day the human species will realize that its particular components are not all precious, unique snowflakes endowed by their creator with certain inaliable rights. One day the human species will realize that it is little more than a collective of particular biological beings who perpetually fuck over the rock on which they exist as they partake in this self-aggrandizing, biased, self-perpetuated bullshit stupid notion that there's some sort of meaning or purpose or use to existence.

But until that day comes? At least let us make fun of stupid people. If only to pass the time.

And for fuck's sake don't try to make Jenny McCarthy a voice of reason. Not even an Autistic kid would do that.

Special Comment: Divisive Politics is Anti-American

Sunday, October 19, 2008

English Muffin Surprise

  • The eggplant man is a sorry, soppy soap opera fan.

  • Jules Verne ate and egg in its shell in just sixty seconds.

  • Pink posies draw like a ground moose strewn at the roadside.

  • Unilever makes the best pumpkin pie.

  • Bored, boring bores bore twins and whores as they all do their chores and bake fluffy s'mores.

Mind your own dubious veracity, Brakeman.