Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
World of Warcraft subscribers include individuals who have paid a subscription fee or have an active prepaid card to play World of Warcraft, as well as those who have purchased the game and are within their free month of access. Internet Game Room players who have accessed the game over the last thirty days are also counted as subscribers. The above definition excludes all players under free promotional subscriptions, expired or cancelled subscriptions, and expired prepaid cards. Subscribers in licensees’ territories are defined along the same rules.
So, What's your game?
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
A Woodland Critter Christmas is, really, the most sensible articulation of the Christmas Season I have ever perceived. So this Christmas gather your family around the monitor, down a few festive alcoholic beverages, and watch A Woodland Critter Christmas.
Christmas time is once a year.
Every critter holds it dear.
Every animal big or small,
Christmas means so much to us all.
It's once a year, it's Christmastime!
And it happens once a year.
It's once a year, it's Christmastime!
When we hear about how Christmas only comes
Once a year.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
I've been on this kick about what philosophy is for, well, a while now. This Article on David Foster Wallace kinda plays into that. Anyway, read this:
If I fire my handgun, one second from now its barrel will be hot; if I do not fire, one second from now the barrel will not be hot; but the proposition one second from now the barrel will be hot is right now either true or false. If the proposition is true, then it is the case that I will fire the gun; if it’s false, then it is the case that I won’t. Either way, it’s the state of affairs in the future that dictates what I will or won’t do now.
How is that not correct?
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The 1st issue of The ECCCS is now out. We are still looking for submissions and bloggers. This issue contains an essay on whiteness and the Hostel movies as well as an editoral about the kid who killed himself live on justin.tv. There is also a blog post about corporate sponsorship in public schools. Please check it out. This has been a long time coming.
As my third Xbox 360 in four months lays useless on the shelf with the red ring blinking, I consider that I might have accumulated a few tips for those hoping to avoid this situation. Now granted, I'm fairly new to this whole "trade in my 360 every few weeks for a new one because I'm riding the wrong end of Microsoft's passable yield" and there are certainly those more harshly affected than I, but this doesn't disqualify me or my observations. Fucker.
1) Do not obstruct air flow
This is pretty much a given with ANY electronic device that needs to vent heat. You may be tempted to pack the 360 away inside an enclosed cabinet or in a box filled with fluffy pillows, but the more air flow the better. The ideal place to stand your console is on the roof-mounted lazy susan connected to a rudder of some kind that can rotate so that the vents are oriented with the direction of the wind. Please note that frigid, arctic winds are ideal, and other winds will probably void your warranty.
2) Do not insert media of any kind into the console
When you buy the 360, you'll notice that there is no disc inside. This is how it was designed, and this is how you should operate it. If you choose to insert disc (DVD, 360 game, Xbox game), you run the risk of melting the unit. You may consider this a risk worth taking, but it is not at all recommended.
3) Do not press buttons on the controller
There is an undeniable temptation to press the buttons on the controller. I myself have succumbed to the allure of the brightly colored little devils on more occasions than I care to admit, and every time it has led to my ruin. Please, do not press buttons on the controller. If you absolutely HAVE to press something, I suggest pressing either left on the D-Pad or Y, as those tend to be the safest, but do not take this as an indication that it is ok to ignore rule 2.
4) Do not connect to the internet
If you've ever seen a movie, especially a movie made in the last fifteen or so years, you'll know first-hand that the internet is a repository for deranged sex freaks who will delete your computer and sell your identity to Russian identity slavers. What the movies don't tell you is that the internet also uploads dangerous "bits" that can damage your console beyond repair. Please, stay off the internet.
5) Do not use your 360 before having it blessed by the Pope
Not even Microsoft can beat God every time. Use this to your advantage.
Well, that's five things to keep in mind if you've got a functioning 360 in your life. Remember: just because it works now doesn't mean that you are ever safe from anything and one day you will die.
Inigo Montoya cannot be Rube from dead like me. my brain just sploded
Saturday, December 13, 2008
2 Pound Rump Roast
2 15 oz Cans Whole New Potatoes
3 8 oz Cans Whole Water Chestnuts
1/2 Pack of Baby Carrots
8 oz. Pack of Baby Portobello Mushroom
Full Garlic Bulb worth of Garlic Cloves
2 32 oz. Boxes of Beef Broth
Preparation: Rub Rump Roast with blend of Crushed Red Pepper, Crushed Black Pepper, and Garlic Powder daily for 3 days prior to cooking. Refridgerate between rubbings.
Cooking: Place garlic gloves in the center of the Crock Pot in a circular pattern to create a "bed" for the Roast. Surround Garlic Cloves with water chestnuts and carrots until bottom of Crock Pot is covered. Place roast upon bed of vegetables centering it over cluster of garlic cloves (for flavors). Add any desired spices at this point. Then, fill in space around and above roast with remaining vegetables. Pour in Broth to rim under top of Crock Pot. Finally, place Mushrooms in broth and allow to float. Cook for 8 hours in Crock Pot on low.
It has Flavors.
Friday, December 12, 2008
So Denis Leary does that Asshole song where he describes his character as a "suburbanite slob" who "like[s] football and porno and books about war". He is a simple man who probably thinks a cowboy punching Nazis with his machine gun fists from the back of a speeding missile made out of dinosaurs would be the greatest thing ever. Not that that wouldn't be great, mind you, but I don't know that this is the person who should be directing a movie about how the human race is too brutish and stupid to keep from destroying itself. And yet here we are, and remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still is pretty fucking stupid.
Incontrovertible Proof that TDtESS is Stupid
1) Scientist describes the speed of an object as being 3 x 10^7 meters per second. Now, you might think to yourself, wouldn't it be easier to say "thirty million" than "three times ten to the seventh power"? Oh no. Science is not here to be easy, it is here to sound complicated. That's why another scientist repeats the number later as "three times ten to the seventh power meters per second". Gosh, just listen to all that fucking science!!
2) Any time the military or police are involved, the movie grinds to a halt to watch the flashing lights and gun cocking. Probably the words "grind", "flash", and "cock" are the words to pay attention to here.
3) Movie contains a man who looks at some sort of a complicated equation on a blackboard, then instantly is able to correct it. This is pretty cliche in terms of retards making movies about people who are supposed to be smart, so TDtESS ratchets up the retard by having TWO characters write the corrected equation in some sort of dueling chalkboard nonsense. Also, those two people are Keanu Reeves and John Cleese.
4) Something computer related was compromised, therefore the planet has been hacked. In this case, some communications satellite related to the government was shut down. But not just any some communications satellite related to the government. The one where if they shut it down, THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT US...AND WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM
There's more, but I'm getting nit-picky.
Now, I haven't seen the original in a few years, but it appeared to me that even though the remake was pretty dumb, the important bits still came through. The bits about how the human race has all of its little systems and its little gadgets, so it thinks that it rules the world and is in control, but it actually isn't. But if that's all you're looking for, then you may as well just watch the original. As I recall, it was pretty rad.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
WoW now offers paid Character Customization. So what, you may ask, may be customized?
Character Re-Customization is a paid service that lets you change an existing character's gender, face, skin color, and other cosmetic features determined by his or her race and gender combination. When you perform a Character Re-Customization, you may also change the character's hair color and hair style (similar to the in-game barbershop) and select a new name, if desired.The FAQ for this new service outlines other particularities of paid characterization.
So, yeah, for a mere $15 you can now change the name and appearance of your WoW characters.
Be sure not to all sign up at once...
Exactly one year ago it was my birthday. Through some fluke in the calendar it happens to be the case that, again this year, IT R MY TEH BIRTHDAY!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, _J_!
Today is totally my birthday. Or, as I like to think of it, "Christmas in December". Today is a day upon which all reflect upon the degree to which I am FUCKING AWESOME!
I shall spend the day writing a feminism paper which is due tomorrow at 4. But you, in your free time, may spend the day reflecting upon the ways in which _J_ has improved your life, made the world a better place, and generally been awesome for this past year.
That or you can post a birthday lolcat which will make me lol. Or buy me a whore.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, _J_! _J_ IS GREAT!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
So, there is a quest in WOTLK which involves torturing a guy. Or, at least, that's how Richard Bartle would describe the situation. I, on the other hand, would say that the quest The Art of Persuasion involves finding an NPC (Who is a pain in the ass to locate, by the way) and using the Neural Needler on it three or four times until the NPC says a line of dialog and the quest is completed. This quest apparently pissed Richard Bartle off because, well, Richard Bartle just can't help himself. In assessing his "argument" of "zomg torture bad" I have two points.
1) Fuck you, Dipshit
As I recall when I did this quest I obtained the item, sought out the location of the NPC using Questhelper, went to the NPC's location, used the item, and then completed the quest. You'll note that my account of the quest leaves out the whole "torture" issue because not only did I not read the fucking quest text but there were also no acts of torture involved. Given that this is a NPC in a fucking video game the entire enterprise can be condensed down to a mechanicalistic account of the acts which occur to complete the quest. I found the NPC, I used the item. Quest done. No torture. Fuck you, dipshit.
2) Killing > Torture means we raise a shit about Torture?
This is the part of Richard Bartle's "argument" that perked my interest:
yes, killing is worse than torture, but that doesn't mean that if you kill people then torture is fine.
What the fuck are you talking about, Bartle? If, as your brilliant little hierarchy suggests, Killing > Torture in terms of the "worseness scale" then why the shit cocking hell aren't you raising a stink against the issue of killing? I'm just a Master's Student, but it seems to me that if killing is worse than torture then...wait for it...KILLING IS WORSE THAN TORTURE!
There are a metric fuck-ton of quests in WOTLK that involve "killing". Hell, there's one quest that involves blowing up 60 something monsters by exploding other monsters around them. Yet is this problematic? Well, of course not. Because, you see, torture is somehow quantitatively different to Richard Bartle, ethical fuckhead. Killing things is terrible, but as long as we simply kill things rather than torture things we're good to go.
Here's the point: If a logical and coherent reconstruction of one's argument is "It would have been ethically better to have killed the NPC rather than tortured and killed the NPC" then the argument fails. That's it. We don't need to debate or discuss it. We don't need to be any more deeply engaged in the conversation. Richard Bartle is arguing that the Art of Persuasion quest would have been less ethically problematic, less morally problematic, if we had simply killed the NPC.
SORRY! You fail.
And I'm not going to buy into your distraction of "When I signed up to play WoW I knew it had fireballs, so I expected killing." You don't get to argue for a moral high ground AND say "killing is fine because I expected it".
This shit is why I hate ethics. Because fuckheads like Richard Bartle stumble into situations which irritate them and then they try to articulate coherent arguments utilizing ethical hierarchies, baseless appeals to contradictory legal/moral/ethical systems, and false equivalency to try and pass off a half-assed, poorly construed, subjective amalgamation of bullshit and stupidity as a reasonable position.
Except it's not reasonable. It's not coherent. It's not intelligent. It's just Richard Bartle, shithead, saying "zomg torture", "Geneva Convention", and "child sex quest" within various rhetorical frameworks in the hope that we'll all be too distracted by his stupidity to focus upon the real question this whole debate raises: WHO THE FUCK IS RICHARD BARTLE?!
Shit like this is why Guster is the greatest band ever. For the encore they have the audience start singing "Two Points for Honesty". Then at the awesome point the band walks back on stage and finishes the song.
You know who else does that? That's right. No One. Because No One else is as awesome as Guster.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Obama is teh British! and teh American!, and the Supreme Court say "we no care". Yay supreme court!
And McCain was not a "natural born" citizen either. Oh noes!
I heard a rumor that George Washington was born in Virgina when it was a British colony, meaning he was not a "natural born" citizen either! Oh Noes! Whats are we to do?
In an unrelated(or is it?) note I just wrote an exhibit catalog about art that is alive, and may have deconstructed the idea of objecthood in the process.
Posted by Andrew at 6:13 PM
Sunday, December 7, 2008
So, in avoiding my Buddhism paper I came across this article regarding how Age of Conan is a shitty game which no one plays. In the comments to this article were the predictably banal comments of "Subscription fees are stupid" played out in the predictably stupid manner in which such comments are often sustained. I've ranted about this before and non-bloggingly bitched about it to people.
The issue is that jackasses think that subscription fees for games are uncalled for, meanspirited, unnecessary, detrimental, or preventative; they want to pay for a game once and then play it unhindered by any monthly fee. I, on the other hand, am trying to explain why this mentality is juvenile, unrealistic, and best left in the 90s. So here is maybe another way of thinking about it: Netflix.
Given that you're reading a blog you know what Netflix is and how Netflix works. So, here's the question: How is $15/month to Netflix different than $15/month to WoW? Both fees are for a service. Both fees offer "unlimited" access to a given service (WoW is unlimited gameplay, Netflix is unlimited DVD exchanges). So what is the difference? How can Netflix be a reasonable service which affords users a great deal yet WoW be a waste of money?
Is it anything more than subjective preference? Neither service affords the user ownership; one does not own a rented Netflix dvd any more than one owns one's WoW character. Both services are monthly fees for an experience.
So if one wants to pay $15 a month to watch a bunch of movies and another wants to pay $15 a month to play a bunch of WoW what the fuck is the difference?
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Go to this page and look at what it contains.
This is kind of mostly what I said years ago that someone needed to do. Take every possible DPS build for all classes, input the relevant data, run it through a simulation, and post the graphical output.
Now we don't have to argue about DPS builds. We have the raw data for what a given class' Damage Per Second will be in any given build given a particular gear set.
Now the only factor is that ever present "fucktard component" of "Can you push the correct buttons in the correct order, shithead?"
I think this sort of thing is enjoyable to read. But then again I really like charts and graphs. Of course, I also really like that Warlocks are top DPS in this simulation.
Monday, December 1, 2008
So, I received a letter from the United States Postal Service "Change of Address Security Division" pertaining to the mail of the person who lived in this apartment prior to my living in it. The purpose of the letter, per the letter, is "to confirm that this request to forward mail is correct." Simple enough. The person no longer lives here so their mail will be forwarded to a new address. Huzzah.
The end of the letter informed me that "it is important that we work together to ensure proper mail delivery". And I must agree with the sentiment of that statement. It is crucial that we all work together to ensure proper mail delivery.
The problem is what else was in the envelope.
You see, the letter from the United States Postal Service contained two pieces of paper. One informed me of a pending change of address request. The other was a flyer for Lowe's containing a coupon affording me $10 off my next $50 purchase (good through January 15, 2009).
Reflect upon that for a moment.
The United States Postal Service, in mail forwarding notifications, is sending out Lowe's coupons.
So I have to ask. Is the United States Postal Service a front for Lowe's? And if so...does this finally explain why Libertarians hates the Postal Service so much?
There's this thing that happens in philosophical inquiry wherein one advances a position and is met with the dreaded, "Of Course You're Right, But..." response. It's as if particular individuals free their selves from the shackles of Plato's cave, creep to the entrance, glance outside, shit their selves, and then run screaming back to their states of bondage as they happily stare at the reflections upon the wall.
I do not think that there are any deep truths towards which one much delve. I do not think that there is a veil to reality which must be cast aside to reveal the Truth. Hell, I'll go so far as to state that Truth is neither deep nor veiled in the classic sense. It's not about seeming. It's about how things are.
If there is a veil it is a veil placed over one's own eyes. If there is delving to do one is always only ever digging through layers which one has posited onto the situation. Truth is the foundation, reality is the foundation, and that foundation is always only ever brazenly apparent, obvious, and accessible.
Every human being will die. That's the classic "obvious" truth. Every human being to ever be impacted, influenced, or helped will die. And "Of Course You're Right, But..." human beings still have to do something in the meantime. It's all futile, but in very tiny slices things may be meaningful.
All meaning is posited by human beings. If I care about a particular person then that caring is self-maintained, self-posited. I posit meaning onto a particular person. But that meaning only ever exists in my positing that meaning. So, there's really no meaning independent of that meaning being posited. And "Of Course You're Right, But..." human beings still posit meaning. One will recognize that one's spouse or significant other is merely a fish out of a sea and a great many other people can fulfill that role. But one still maintains the illusion of particular significance.
It's the scene from Pulp Fiction with the Gold Watch. Captain Koons explains the history of the watch. Butch posits meaning onto the watch. But that meaning only ever exists in the positing. There is nothing "meaningful" about the watch in and of itself. To gain meaning one must posit the recognition that the watch was in Butch's father's ass for five years and in Captain Koons' ass for two years after that. That only exists, though, in its being posited, in it's being maintained by beings who posit meaning.
Which does not mean that human beings have to not posit meaning. It does not mean that human beings need to never do anything. It does not mean that human beings need to kill their selves. It doesn't mean anything. And that's truth. It's not deep. It's not elusive. It's not veiled. It's obvious, intuitive, accessible. It's simply the way things are.
So I think that instead of saying "Of Course You're Right, But..." simply remove the "But". Stop trying to get meaning, value, worth, love, or any of it. Simply recognize how things are.
There is a particular thing. One maintains great affection for that particular thing. Yet the affection only exists in its being maintained. So one may certainly maintain that affection. Yet I think it sensible to recognize the relation of that affection and the thing. Recognize how things are. Recognize the fluidity of being.
It's not about meaning or value or love. It's about living one's life.
And saying "fuck you" a lot.
FALLOUT 3 SPOILER (to the extent that I say something about how I feel about the ending)
Man, you know when you're playing your big open-ended RPG and you can do whatever you want, and like, there's this one time where you told a guy you would go kill some dudes, but then you talked to those dudes and they seemed ok, so you helped them work things out with the guy who wanted them to die? And you're all "hah, I chose how I wanted to resolve that issue and found a solution with very desirable results!"
And then you think about some of those other RPGs where your choices are pretty much limited to playing the game or not playing the game. Or those games where you get YES/NO choices, but if you answer wrong, they'll ask you again until you answer correctly. And you think, "haha, this game involves me much more than those games! I'm finally important somewhere!"
And then that big open-ended game suddenly tells you what to do, and you're like "wait, that's a terrible idea, what it is that you're telling me to do. I have a better idea, wait here" and you try to choose how to resolve the situation in a way that would yield more desirable results and the game is like "no, man. Fucking do what I told you to do" and you look around and realize that you're being date raped. It was all flowers and free dinner ten minutes ago, but now it's a cock in your ass. Maybe that's a little overstated. It's more like spending sixty bucks on a LEGO set with bricks that can be assembled in hundreds of different ways, but for some reason the last brick won't fit where you want it to go no matter what you do.
In other words, Fallout 3 is not an open-ended game. It is an open-middled game.
*Note: Only read the comments if you want spoilers.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
I'm officially opening my doors for people to show up at my house and pass time after thanksgiving this year. Doors open as soon as my parents leave. I'll print some directions in the comments, call me if you need help getting there as my house doesn't exist on google or any gps system yet.
Fun and revelry will be had by all.
I went ahead and editted a google map to give you a visual image of the directions.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Utah studio wants pole dancing in Olympics
So, apparently, there is a movement to make Pole Dancing an Olympic sport:
"This takes grace, fluidity and strength. It's on par with ice skating and everything else in the Olympics," said Lorinda Coombs, co-owner of Studio Soiree. Said Lizz Schofield, the owner of a Pole Dancing Studio, "it's not stripping at all." The article in question also has quotes from a mother of four who engaged in pole dancing "for the workout".
Yeah. Um... You see...
The pole is a cock.
And, you know, I hate to be the guy to break that to you; I hate to "go all Freudian on you". But you're dancing with a cock. Granted, it is a cock which extends from the floor to the ceiling (much like my own) but it's still a big, rigid, metal cock. And you're doing this in a room full of other women who are, you know, all dancing with erect metal cocks.
And I'm not trying to dissuade you from your cock dancing; I think it is terrific. And I'm not even going to dissuade you from attempting to make metal-cock dancing an Olympic sport. I think your enterprise is fucking (to pardon the pun) hilarious.
But I just thought you should know that "pole dancing" is, in fact "metal, rigid, erect, cock dancing".
And that's not even a subjective interpretation which fails to grasp the deep, penetrating history of pole dancing which has climaxed into its current popularity. It's actually an accurate statement of fact: You're dancing with a big metal cock. So, you know, have fun with that.
And also?" This takes grace, fluidity and strength"? You know what else takes grace, fluidity, and strength? Fucking. Fucking requires all of those things.
So you might want to modify your argument a bit unless you want to be indirectly arguing for Olympic fucking. I don't think you should modify your argument at all to be perfectly honest. Hell, I'd probably watch the Olympics if fucking were a competition. Especially if it were the winter Olympics.
But, yeah, you're dancing with an erect metal cock.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
You know, I dislike George W. Bush. I disagree with him on pretty much everything and think that, as a human being, he fails on more than one level.
But it's one thing to attack a person's positions. It's one thing to critique a person's job performance. It's one thing to critique a person's lifestyle. It's one thing to objectively assess an individual's intelligence. It's one thing to dismantle one's ideologies via logic, rational thought, and empiricism.
But making fun of a guy for not being popular with world leaders? Mocking a guy for his social status? Saying that the President of the United States is like "the guy with cooties"?
That's pretty god damned low. It's like a new degree of juvenile.
I'll call George W. Bush a cocaine addicted dolt whose lack of intelligence is matched only by his inability to clearlly articulate a thought. But I'm not going to make fun of him for not getting a handshake at a gathering of world leaders.
That's just mean.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
So, this was part of my initial review of WOTLK:
From the title on WOTLK defines its theme: Wrath of the Lich King. This expansion is about the Lich King. The trailer, art, new hero class (Death Knight), continent, and quest stories are about the Lich King. The entire feel of the expansion is Lich King; playing the expansion feels like a build up to a final confrontation with the Lich King.
Initially my appreciation of WOTLK was focused upon its coherent presentation of story and its ability to define and stick to a theme. After today, though, that view was shot to hell. Here's what happened.
I logged in to do my daily quest for the walrus people. You see, if I become exalted with the walrus people then they will sell me an epic fishing pole and a penguin pet. The fishing pole will help me fish; the penguin pet will keep me warm at night. So I do their daily quest to gain reputation. What is the daily quest? Well, you see, the walrus people are at war with the badger people. So the walrus people want me to steal 12 baby badger people so that I don't know why because that information appears before the summary quest text, which is all I read. So I go steal the 12 baby badger people and give them to the walrus person. He gives me 20k experience and some amount of reputation. Huzzah, I'm that much closer to my fishing pole and penguin pet. Upon completing this quest I head off to do more quests.
That's where the trouble started.
So I'm going along doing quests as usual. Except after I turn in this certain quest the screen goes black and suddenly an FMV starts playing. In the FMV a bunch of alliance people I don't know are fighting a bunch of somethings. Then some orcs show up. After they say some words (apparently orcs can talk to humans now) the alliance human yells something at the castle (which is weird, because castles, as I understand it, lack ears). The gates open and the Lich King comes out. And I know it's the Lich King because it's the guy from the trailer and the box art.
So the lich king kills the orc guy (zomg noes!) and then the lich king is about to kill the alliance guy, except then some third guy shows up and sprays green shit all over everyone. Then the Lich King walks away, the human guy dies, and a bunch of dragons fly in and plant some flowers. Then the FMV ends, my screen goes back to the regular display, a bunch of NPCs are running around screeming, my framerate drops to 2, and after about 3 minutes my game crashes.
Confused? Well, you're not half as confused as I was.
WHO THE FUCK WERE ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE?! What the fuck is going on? I started out the day catching baby badger people for the walrus people and suddenly I'm involved in an epic struggle against the Lich King who is being fought by some alliance fuckhead and a horde guy i've never heard of who is now dead? And who the fuck is that third guy? And why the HELL do dragons come and plant flowers? Are these magical Horticulture dragons?!
Here's my point: FUCK STORY!
I could appreciate Blizzard's attempt to articulate a deep and rich story which draws from an wealth of source material if the game were structured to support such a story, if the gameplay experience were such that a player was compelled to continue playing as a result of an appreciation and yearning to discover what happens next. But WoW is not Parasite Eve. WoW is not Final Fantasy. WoW is a Massively-Fucking-Multiplayer-Fucking-RPG; WoW is a quest grinding, loot attaining, currency amassing time waster. This is what the game IS! WoW is not a vehicle for rich storytelling. WoW is not a tapestry upon which a compelling tale may be told.
WoW is doing daily quests for the walrus people to get the fishing pole and the penguin pet. WoW is running Hyjal 1,000 times to get a hat.
And when Blizzard attempts to enmesh walrus people rep grinds with FMVs starring fuck-all-if-i-know-who battling "that guy from the box art" I think we have a fundamental conflict of game design going on. Blizzard cannot reasonably expect to present a person with the prospect of grinding a quest 47 fucking times in order to amass the reputation required to be exalted with the Walrus people AND expect a player to delve into the "storyline" of the expansion. That is simply not reasonable; that is neither consistant nor coherent. I cannot be the savior of a people who brings about peace by destroying the Lich King once and for all if after I kill him he respawns and I kill him again the next week in the hope of him dropping something else.
Either WoW is a vehicle for telling a story (so remove the grindfest) or WoW is a grindfest focused upon increasing one's numbers (so remove the story); it cannot be both.
Because when it tries to be both? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Were you at the Halloween show? Me either! But now you can simulate what it might be like to sort of be there. For the host segments, at least.
Please be assured that not every night is like this. Usually the movie they say they're going to show, they fucking show. Except one time I remember. But Dr. Calamari shut me down for complaining about it.
Thanks to the guy on YouTube who uploaded this clip. Furious propers.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Recently watched the British mini-series Jekyll and all I can say, is "Wow". This is how you tell a story. If you have netflix, or some other manner in which you can procure this show, I would recommend doing so. It is only 2 discs, but packs about 6 hours of solid storyline. I couldn't get myself to walk away after any given episode, and burnt through it in a single night.
The story is based on a distant descendant of the infamous Dr. Jekyll, and how he deals with the transformation that plagued his descendant. The constantly twisting and turning story keeps you guessing and entertained at the same time.
A must see for any true fan of television.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Let me preface this by saying that no one game is worth buying a PS3 for, but if you are thinking of getting one, Valkyria Chronicles makes that decision a lot easier.
Valkyria Chronicles, if I am forced to categorize it, a Tactical RPG, but it brings with it an elements of Gears of War, and Battlefield. Never before when playing a TRPG, have I felt as if I were truly in a battle. I always treated the games more like a chess match than a war. Valkyria Chronicles changes that.
Set in a Earth-like setting, similar to our own WWII era. Following a great War, the world has broken out in another war as the evil empire from the east has it's sights set on lowly Gallia, a neutral state. If you don't like cut scenes and story this game is not for you. Thankfully, I love me some stories. After only a few hours of play, I'm guessing 6 or so, I'm deeply engrossed and find myself constantly wanting more.
Your squad consists of 20 hand picked members, of which you can use 9 at a time (as has been the case for me thus far), but you can retreat them out if near a base and replace them the next turn. (both actions however cost resources). Each unit type has a situational use. Scouts are fast and efficient, Shocktroopers provide even offense and mobility, Lancers are anti tank troops, snipers are just that, and engineers are a useful utility class with great movement.
The game's combat system is an interesting mix of turn based strategy and gears of war. The turn based strategy part is the command view. You see a map view of the scenario, with tokens representing your troops and visible opposition troops. At the start of each turn you are awarded a certain number of "Command Points"(CP). These can be spent on troops actions and orders. Each troop action costs one CP, a tank action costs two CP, and orders have different CP costs depending on the power of the ability. Once you decide to spend a CP on a troop action, you are moved into a third person over the shoulder view similar to Gears of War. Like GoW you are able to crouch behind bunkers to secure cover, and have an aiming view to fire shots. For the most part, you only get one round of shots (at a single target) per action (CP spent). As you are moving your units, you are often under fire from opposing units in their bunkers. This part really gives you the feel of being in an actual combat zone. As scenarios play out, there are often bases to take as you cross the landscape, allowing you to retreat faster troops that took the base and move in some heavier troops to help break the lines to the next base.
Another interesting feature of the game includes group leveling and equipping. In an attempt to reduce the micromanagement involved in a game with such a large squad, you level your units as a unit type (IE all scouts or all snipers). Also, when you pay for a new rifle upgrade, all of your rifle users get this upgrade automatically. I'm finding I love this feature for equipment, but am a little disappointed that my troops don't level up differently.
This game brings a refreshing new perspective on TRPGs, and I am hooked.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Fox told Salzman the decision to ax the show was an economic one.There's also the fact that the show COMPLETELY SUCKED ASS AND WAS TERRIBLE!
"They said it was too expensive for a daypart where dollars have been shrinking," he said. "Their thought was, the show is what the show is, and that essence needs to be maintained -- but it's hard to produce as big and ambitious a show as ours for less money than they're paying now."
Now that the political atmosphere is calming down, I can get back to what I like doing best. Playing games and then talking about them. Today, after getting a few hours to play Ninjatown, I will talk about it.
This game takes two things I love very much, and combines them. Ninjas and fortifying a location to defend it.
We all know ninjas kick ass. For me there is no question.
The game has many different ninjas that all have unique abilities in helping defend one's town. At this poing I have unlocked 4 different kinds.
The wee ninja is an all around melee ninja, cheap and effective. The anti-ninja, a slow bruising melee type. The sniper ninja, who uses a blow gun to shoot down air invaders, which the melee types can't hit. Lastly, the snow ninja, a utility ninja that throws snowballs to slow down opposing troops.
Second fortifactions and defense:
I have a bad habit in RTSes of building up a base and putting up defensive structures all over the place. This tends to get me killed on a very consistent basis due to the offensive nature of RTSes. This game however rewards this behavior. I for one am pleased.
Your job is to keep the demons from passing through your town and doing damage to you, but you have a limited number of resources (cookies) in which to buy and upgrade ninjas. You must be strategic in which ninjas you buy and when you upgrade them to keep the demon hordes at bay. Also, special buildings exist to allow you to improve adjacent ninjas abilites, such as damage and attack range. The demon hordes walk down a path or even multiple paths to get through your town. A grid like system allows you to place huts for cookies, each hut containing two ninjas of the specified type. You place the huts strategically to stem the flow of demons. As demons are defeated by your ninjas, you earn more cookies to spend on more huts, buildings, or upgrading ninjas. As the old master ninja, you can also unlock abilities that allow you help out your ninja defenses.
I was quite impressed with the game. Although, the graphics and characters may seem childish. It is quite enjoyable, and I found myself redoing a few stages over and over to get an A grade before moving on, because I found it to be so much fun. It is definitely a game I would recommend to anyone.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
What is the Gerund of Cunnilingus? One who performs cunnilingus is a "cunnilinguist". But to perform Cunnilingus is...what? cunnilinguiling? Cunnilinguising?
Fellatio is fellation. So one may be "fellating". The wikipedia page has a nice Etymology Section:
The English noun fellatio comes from fellātus, which in Latin is the past participle of the verb fellāre, meaning to suck. In fellatio the -us is replaced by the -io, an alternate form of the suffix -ion. The -ion or -io ending is used in English to create nouns from Latin adjectives and indicate a state or action wherein the Latin verb is being, or has been, performed. Further English words have been created based on the same Latin root. A person who performs fellatio upon another may be termed a fellator (or cocksucker, a term which is usually considered obscene). Because of Latin's gender based declension, this word may be restricted by some English speakers to describing a male. The equivalent female term is fellatrix.However, there is no in-depth (ha, ha) Etymology provided for Cunnilingus and rather we have simply this:
The term comes from an alternative Latin word for the vulva (cunnus) and from the Latin word for tongue (lingua).Sexism? I think so.
So, what would the Gerund be? "I am presently cunnilinguiling", "I am presently cunnilingusing"?
If you're wondering what brought this up (ha ha) I was writing this:
"pragmatism fellating, Empiricism cunnilinguiling,"
And realized that I don't know what the proper Gerund form of Cunnilingus is.
Over the next 70 days or so President Elect Barack Obama is going to be putting together his administration. We here at Everyone is a Sith understand how to lead, how to get things done.
I would like to nominate Dave Chapelle for the Secretary of Keeping it Real
Any other ideas?
We are two days out from the election, but Sarah Palin has been thrown under the bus at least three times today.
First: Sarah Palin took a meeting with McCain Staffers in a towel.
Second: A Staffer called the Palin's "Hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast."
Third: Sarah Palin does not know what Africa is.
This is going to be more fun then our (my) dirty trick watch. And yes, i am bathing in schadenfreude territory. But as a history I understand that the victor fights this history book.
Update: "Republican Party lawyer would be dispatched to Alaska to inventory and retrieve the clothes still in her possession."
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Per Pollster.com and, to a degree, Fivethirtyeight.com these are the latest Swing and Lean States:
Throw some baseless speculation into the comments thread.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The prominent atheist is stepping down from his post at Oxford University to write a book aimed at youngsters in which he will warn them against believing in "anti-scientific" fairytales.
For Fuck's Sake...
I think that someone needs to explain to Richard Dawkins than an external reality existing estranged from the self is a fairy tale, that its existence is not scientifically verifiable. Science only occurs within an accepted context, an assumed context. One assumes the existence of an external reality estranged from the self and then engages in manifestations of that external reality scientifically. But the foundation upon which that scientific research occurs is an assumption, an illusion, an unverifiable guess.
The most detrimental component of Dawkin's development was probably Star Trek, I'm guessing. Via the character Spock, Star Trek propogated the illusion that it is possible to be entirely logical and scientific, that there could be entirely logical beings.
The problem is that logic does not occur until one makes the non-logical, non-scientific leap into an assumed reality. Logic and Science only occur within contexts of reality. Those contexts are not entered into logically or scienficially. There is something else compelling the leap.
And if Dawkins is going to start scientifically assessing Harry Potter and My Little Pony and Sleeping Beauty I think someone needs to start scientifically assessing Dawkins' primary assumptions of reality.
Except we can't. Because primary assumptions of reality are not scientific.
So, instead, we probably just need to inscribe A Treatise Concerning the Principles of Human Knowledge onto a two-by-four and beat the living fuck out of Dawkins until he shuts the hell up.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Joe Biden came to Bowling Green tonight for a rally. We were not quiet in the front row, but we were close. I'll have some better pictures once I connect my camera to my computer. In the mean time, here are the pictures i took with my phone.
You know that line in West Wing, the one about great oratory starting in your toes and going through your hold body bringing you to your feet. Its true.
The iphone is not a very good at taking pictures, and they were twooted to twitter, so tiny icky pictures. Better ones to come.
Friday, October 31, 2008
"What saddens me most is your naivety in believing any county on this planet can successfully have an egalitarian society."
I don't think any country on this planet can successfully have an egalitarian society. Reality does not accomodate egalitarian societies; reality does not accomodate ideals. The question is what we're striving for.
The ironic part of the conversation is what I articulated before, that we have to pick between these two:
1) Mutual Survival.
2) Individual Survival.
What's weird about that is to apply Darwinian notions about survival. In a Darwinian sense? Conservativism is correct; individual beings struggle for survival in competition against other individual beings. Particular instances of change manifest over time and those particular beings in which the change is manifest either live or die, either pass it on or fail to replicate. But then you combine that with the fact that we are social creatures. And what's left is a dichotomy to reality itself. We're each a particular manifestation of a particular genetic heritage. But we are also partners in a social enterprise. No man is an island, in terms of survival, but every man is an island, in terms of preserving its own survival. Yet, of course, to pass on that genetic heritage we have to fuck someone else. So, again, social.
What the question comes down to is which we focus upon; which reality we pick.
Yet while each reality (individual or social) has its foundations I do not think that the individual reality, conservativism, is the reality towards which we're striving. And that's the key: "we're striving".
The Conservative mindset, economically, is that Bill Gates worked hard, made money, and so that money is his. The problem is that this mindset fails to acknowledge the social apparatus by which Bill Gates was sustained in his working. It's not the case that Bill Gates worked hard and amassed an abundance of money. Bill Gates utilized a social aparatus whereby he could amass that money. Or take the small business owner. They take a risk, they start a business. But the survival of that business is not the result soley of that business' primary investor; it is part of a social structure. One individual may have contributed a significant amount of time, but a society maintained that individual. Farmers provided food. Builders provided shelter and transit. Energy manufacturers provided energy.
Existence is a collective enterprise. We are not independent beings estranged from one another. Life on Earth exists as a result of energy from the sun. The tides move as a result of the gravitational pull of the Moon. You eat food someone else grew. You wear clothing someone else stitched. It's all inter-connected; it is all social.
So, yeah, in a Darwinian sense Conservative economic policies are sensible. In the sense that we are all in competition for survival? Of course it makes sense to focus upon economics of competition, to pit companies against one another.
But to embrace that mentality is to ignore the social implications of what occurs when Business A wins and Business B has to shut down. And, yeah, we can embrace the Darwinian notion that when Business B dies the individuals whose livelihood was maintained via Business B are fucked and so be it, that's reality.
But I don't think we really believe that. And, truly, I don't think we can even fully view it that way. Because we're social beings. Business B's failure and the social fallout of that impacts all beings within the society.
So we just have to pick which understanding of reality we will operate within. Except that we've already picked it: "we". My fellow Americans. My brothers and sisters. Our task. Change we can believe in. Country First.
We can say that we're free-market capitalists. We can say that we're for competition in the marketplace. We can say that we are independent entities whose amassed possessions and wealth are our own. But we don't really believe that.
We're not isolated beings. We're not really in competition. We're in competition insofar as there are a finite amount of resources available. But the bigger picture is that we're all co-dependent beings who are not self-sufficient but rather exist within a reality which is fundamentally not isolated and independent but rather enmeshed and social. "Your" car was made by someone else, fueled with fuel obtained by someone else, a composition of parts made by a plethora of companies each of which employ a plethora of beings.
So why cling to the notion that those items we mistakenly consider our own are our own? Why do the whole individual property thing?
I obtained "my" Tier 6 gloves as a result of the combined efforts of 24 other people. So in what sense are they mine? They're not. They exist within the social continuum by which they were obtained and are sustained; they exist as a particular manifestation of a social, communal, co-dependent chain of inter-related events.
As does everything.
And that's not egalitarian. That's a description of reality. Damn it.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
1) Why would they feature Charles Manson the ad. it seems counter productive? Sure, he brings in in the key serial killer swing group. Sure, Manson bring in the Nazi serial killers but may alienate the communist serial killer demo Obama has worked hard to get.
2) Eric Schmidt making out with Warren Warren_Buffett? Really? I know that Obama wants to protect the rights of the GBLT community. But this seems like a great way to gross EVERYONE out. Schmidt is an ugly man.
3) You never NEVER come out as being pro-zombie or pro-vampire with the economy being like it is.
4) I like his take on Ninja v Pirates. Always go with Molemen. It worked for Jefferson, it can work for Obama.
So I was reading this article on MSNBC about a woman with metastatic breast cancer who found it difficult to find men to date. She would go to bars, meet a guy, start a conversation, and the male's interest would inexplicably end when she informed them that she can't work, she can't have kids, she has a disfigured right breast, and she's going to die soon. At which point that voice in my head which tells me what I think blurted out: "What the fuck is wrong with these guys? This woman is perfect!"
Think about it. She does not have an STD, she has cancer. She can't get pregnant, so there's no potential offspring to consider. She's depressed and her expectations are low, which means she'll appreciate you all the more. And she's come to accept the inevitable end to her life. So the relationship, really, would be movies, clinging-to-life sex, and discussions of the meaninglessnes of being.
As I said, perfect.
That's not to say that I desire detachment or fear commitment. Rather, the situation is quite the opposite; I cling to commitment like Styrofoam packing peanuts to a cat. I crave attachment in my relationships, which is why they always end as a result of the other person ending them.
But a relationship with a dying girl? It's perfect! You can genuinely care for her, appreciate her, and manifest enjoyable situations with her and not worry about her changing her mind or deciding she wants something else; she's going to fucking die. She doesn't have "the rest of her life" to think about. She has like a year or two. And as long as the relationship is loving, enjoyable, and mutually beneficial it's safe to say that it could exist within an ideal state of bliss for two years.
Plus, there's the clinging-to-life cancer-girl sex. And I have to imagine that dying girls who are literally clinging to life have to manifest that in their sexual performance. Sure, this particular woman has a disfigured right breast. But the left is fine, and that's one more breast than I have access to currently. And her vagina functions, which is what it's all about anyway.
My point is not that dying chicks are hot. I think the actual point is that dying chicks are not not hot; death does not take anything away from the situation. If a woman is cute and funny it really does not matter if she has terminal cancer. All terminal cancer means is that there is a general expectation for her to die soon. But we're all going to die. You could meet a 21 year old cute, funny girl and she could be hit by a bus. At least with the cancer chick you're expecting it.
We're all going to die. I don't see any point, therefore, in belittling or dismissing an individual simply because their death is more immanent, in an odd way of thinking about reality, than the death of someone else. Appreciate a person for who they are and what they can offer. Don't sequester them away as untenable simply because of the few things they can't offer. That's just fucking stupid.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The U.S. News Networks are not reporting this, but it might interest you to know that the United States attacked Syria. And, as one might imagine, Syria is pretty fucking pissed.
Iraq has denounced a raid into Syria at the weekend, saying it does not want its territory to be used as a launch-pad for US attacks on its neighbours. Syria urged the UN Security Council to hold the US responsible for the attack, which it says killed eight civilians. And Syria's cabinet called the attack "barbaric", ordering a US school and cultural centre in Damascus to be shut.So now when World War 3 starts at least you'll know why.
Unnamed US officials have said the operation killed a key figure involved in the smuggling of fighters into Iraq. But Syrian foreign minister Walid Muallem denied the US claims calling them "totally unjustified".
'War crime attempt'
He branded the attack a "war crime attempt" and said it had claimed the lives of civilians - a father and his three children, a farm guard and his wife, and a fisherman.
"The Iraqi government rejects the US helicopter strike on Syrian territory, considering that Iraq's constitution does not allow its land to be a base for launching attacks on neighbouring countries," he said.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sen. Stevens found guilty on corruption charges.
Said Stevens, "Corruption is not like a big truck. You can't keep piling it on. Corruption is a series of tubes. And if you understand, these tubes can be filled. And when the tubes are filled you get convicted of seven felony charges."
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
I just like listening to Keith do the Bill-O Voice.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Flagship Studio's troubled demon hunting MMO will be shut down at midnight on January 31st 2009. Namco Bandai, who have been running the Hellgate servers since Flagship went under, say that the game will be free to play until it is shut down.I bet those assholes who paid $149.99 for a lifetime subscription feel like, well, assholes right now.