Saturday, December 22, 2007

Snow [chat]


It is the season to rememeber that "Gift that keeps on giving."

A Dissertation on Liberty and Necessity, Pleasure and Pain by Ben Franklin

This is moderately fun to read... well i skiped around.
I imagine J will enjoy parts of it.

Friday, December 21, 2007


I am going to let this one stand on its own.

DIKE, IOWA -- Baptist minister and anti-abortion supporter Mike Huckabee was asked today about 16-year old celebrity Jamie Lynn Spears' decision to continue her unplanned pregnancy.

While the candidate has been notably caught off-guard by breaking news events recently, today he passed a test of pop culture with flying colors.

News of Britney Spears younger sister's pregnancy broke this week and now graces international tabloids including OK! Magazine. While the candidate's answer may have fit any out-of-wedlock teen in the same situation, he commented with knowing confidence:

"It's a tragedy when a 16-year-old who is not really prepared for all the responsibilities of adult life is going to be now faced with all the responsibilities of honest-to-goodness adult life. I respect it."

"Apparently, she's going to have the child and I think that is the right decision, a good decision, and I respect that and appreciate it. I hope it is not an encouragement to other 16-year-olds who think that is the best course of action."

"But at the same time I'm not going to condem her. There'll be plenty of people in line to do that and I always look for the shortest lines. I just hope that she will make another right decision and that's to give that child all the love and kindness and care that she can."

Falling Down the YouTube Hole

Instead of writing I have spent most of the afternoon crawling around YouTube Watching Tom Lehrer videos. Lehrer is a world famous mathematician who is best known for this satirical songs.

below are my favorates. Please enjoy.

Thursday, December 20, 2007


Read this youaredumb article.

Harry Reid tried to pass a Bill which gave immunity to the telecommunications industry who illegally wiretapped american citizens.

While other candidates for president stayed on the campaign trail, Sen. Dodd spent eight hours debating on the Senate floor until Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada acquiesced and agreed to postpone a vote until after the new year. Sen. Reid agreed to reconsider the immunity provision. A House version does not contain the wiretap immunity language.

So out of all the Democratic candidates it was Dodd who was willing to do what needed to be done, who had the balls to stand up for what is Right, who actually did something rather than just bash Bush and tell people what they want to hear.

vote Dodd?

I Hate Gift Cards.

Since the year is ending and Christmas is upon us I think it sensible to craft a Christmas Public Service Announcement, fulfilling both my obligation to write something Christmasy as well as my obligation to accumulate some number of hours of public service before the year ends. So without a needless amount of ado...

Gift Cards: STUPID.
a rant.

1) Gift Cards are a scam.
The reason companies sell gift cards is to boost their sales and enable a greater accumulation of profits. Say you buy a $50 gift certificate to Best Buy and give it to Chuck. Chuck now "has" $50 which can only be spent at Best Buy. The problem? Nothing Chuck wants costs exactly $50. So either he will utilize the gift card in addition to his own money to purchase a $50+ item (generating greater profits for Best Buy) or he will use the $50 card to buy an item which costs, say, $47.86 and then either throw the card away (wasting the $2.14 remaining on the card) or Chuck will carry the card around until his next purchase so that he can spend the remaining sum of money.

In all scenarios Best Buy, not Chuck, wins. Either Best Buy obtaines $50 plus whatever Chuck Pays, Best Buy gains $2.14 which is never spent, or Best Buy obtains whatever Chuck spends on his next visit the purpose of which is to burn off the remaining "money" on the card.

2) Gift Cards are not Thoughtful
Gift Cards are actually anti-thoughtful, they are the negation of thoughtful. A thoughtful gift is the purchase of vodka for someone who enjoys vodka (provided that the recipient is not a non-functional alcoholic). A gift card lowers the bar of personal understanding from "I know you wanted this particular CD from this group you enjoy" to "You can probably find something at Best Buy."

Even if we were to grant the assumption that purchasing a Best Buy gift card somehow indicates an understanding of the person for whom the card was purchased we must remember that Gift Cards are, in fact, a scam. A Best Buy gift card limits an indivual and possibly requires that they spend their own money to obtain the "gift".

Additionally, a Gift Card does not indicate that one has knowledge of the person for whom the card was purchased. A Gift Card can be a last minute purchase as one stands in line at the checkout incapable of finding a true gift. If one receives a Best Buy gift card this does not mean that the purchaser sought out Best Buy but rather it means that at some point in time the purchaser was at Best Buy and bought the card.

3) Gift Cards are a Pain to use
Have you ever tried to return something purchased with a gift card? It does not work. Has your wallet ever been overflowing with gift cards which you tote around in the hope of eventually spending that $2.14? Have you ever had the magnetic strip malfunction, the card reader malfunction? Gift Cards are an incredible pain and burden on the user. If only there were an alternative, a useful currency accepted at all stores which left no burden or restriction on the recipient. Is there such a gift? There is!

3) Cash, dumbass
Cash is the greatest non-gift gift a person can receive. If one truly has no thought of what to purchase and no specific gift in mind then cash is the perfect solution. Cash can be used at any store at any time. Cash can be absorbed into one's supply of economic resources to buy items, food, pay bills, etc. Cash says, "I respect you enough to not limit your choices or burden you with plastic." Cash shows that one thinks the recipient responsible, diverse, and mature enough to accept the gift for what it is. Also, one can fold $50 bills into wicked awesome paper airplanes or very tiny $50 cat hats.

So, remember. If you cannot think of an actual gift to purchase for a friend or loved one give cash. Becase cash does not suck.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

WoW Figure Prints.

Great idea? Or, The Greatest Idea?

Rather than buy some generic Paladin or Warlock figure you can have a 3D model made of YOUR OWN CHARACTER!

Quidfacis shall live!

Edit: $99.95 plus $14.95 Shipping and Handling to any address in the US and Canada

When Fascism Comes to This Country, It Will Be Wrapped in the Flag Carrying a Cross.

In response to Mike Huckabee's Christmas ad a quote was used by Ron Paul:

"It reminds me of what Sinclair Lewis once said. He says, 'when fascism comes to this country, it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross.' Now I don't know whether that's a fair assessment or not, but you wonder about using a cross, like he (Huckabee) is the only Christian or implying that subtly."

When Fascism Comes to This Country, It Will Be Wrapped in the Flag Carrying a Cross.

What does that mean?

It means that the people are fooled by misdirection. It means that the concern of the people is not for truth or the betterment of humankind but rather their focus is on the mundane, their concern is for their own well-being. The people care about invisible men in the sky and zygotes and celebrities and television programs and the terrorist bogeymen who, incidentally, are not a threat to us or our way of life.

The true threat is not those conveniently labeled as enemies, the vilified caricatures of evil who shake their fist at us from across the ocean. The true thread is ignorance, complacency, fear. The only thing we have to fear is, in fact, fear itself. The Real Enemy is, in fact, those who would use our fear against us, who would steal the freedoms for which this country was created and replace them with the illusion of security.

When Fascism Comes to This Country, It Will Be Wrapped in the Flag Carrying a Cross.

The greatest threat is the enemy in plain sight, the proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing. The doltish leader who trashes our rights in exchange for illusions and rhetoric. The zealot whose allegiance is to an invisible man in the sky and not to us, the people.

There will not be a torrent of gunfire or the flash of a great bomb. The true threat is the one noticed too late, the wound that slowly festers. Suspension of a right here, construct a secret prison there, manipulate one political institution at a time. Dominoes slowly fall one into another, rights disappear in the name of security. Meticulously, one at a time.

And then it is too late.

When Fascism Comes to This Country, It Will Be Wrapped in the Flag Carrying a Cross.

It will wear a red sweater as it sits before a Christmas Tree wishing you a Merry Christmas (vote Huckabee). It will wear an American Flag pin upon its lapel as it assures you that you are safe (but could be safer).

Undeniably it will greet you with a warm smile, offer you its hand, and tell you all you wish to hear.

When Fascism Comes to This Country, It Will Be Wrapped in the Flag Carrying a Cross.

Count on it.

"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected," she tells OK!. "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."

Mike Lewis: i am going to have to chance all by Britney Spears good girl / bad girl examples to her little sister
Mike Lewis: now
Mike Lewis: and there just arent as many good pictures
JaaPee: why her sister?
Mike Lewis: she is having a baby
Mike Lewis: at 16
Mike Lewis: etc
JaaPee: good for her
JaaPee: that way her cooter will have time to snap back to something resembling a keyhole, as opposed to the cavern her sister whistles into
Mike Lewis: wow
Mike Lewis: working blue tonight
JaaPee: it happens
JaaPee: i channel red fox and thats all she wrote

pre-edit edit: Lynn Spear's (the Spears sisters mother) book on raising christian childen has been delayed

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Pay attention, Huckabee.

Let's try this again.

The job of the President of the United States is to represent the citizens of the United States of America. All of them. Buddhists, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Blacks, Whites, Clowns, Lawyers, ALL of the citizens. One need not agree with everyone but one need recognize the importance and value of all of us.

We are all in this together.

Mike Huckabee's "celebration of the birth of Christ" Christmas ad showed in no uncertain terms that not only does Mike Huckabee not care about non-Christians but also showed that Mike Huckabee loves prostrating and whoring the name of his personal Lord and Savior in the hope of getting some votes.

If you are a Christian and are not completely outraged by this then I suggest you read the fucking Bible, you ignorant dolts. I suggest starting with the narrative of Jesus and the money changers.

If you are not a Christian and you are not completely outraged by this then I suggest you fucking pay attention.

If you are a human being living in the United States of America and are mad as hell at Huckabee right now? Good. You've been paying attention.

If you are Mike Huckabee right now? Find a Bible. Read it. Find a copy of the Constitution. Read it. Because you don't understand Christianity or the job of the President of the United States.

But I'll give you one thing on the Christianity bit: You know enough to exploit it.

Huckabee Baiting: Political Ads Suck

Huckabee is running a poltical ad about how awful poltical ads are because he get in the way of talking about how important it is this time of year to celebrate the birth of some guy who may or may not be real.

Monday, December 17, 2007

That is not "present".

This article discusses a "death star galaxy" described as containing a "super massive black hole blasting its galactic neighbor with a deadly beam of energy". According to Dan Evans "This jet could be causing all sorts of problems for the smaller galaxy it is pummeling."

The problem?

"The deadly galaxy — the largest of two in a system known as 3C321 — is aiming the high-energy jet from its center at a smaller galaxy 20,000 light-years away from it, or roughly the distance from Earth to the Milky Way's core. The entire system is located about 1.4 billion light-years away from Earth."

If the entire system is 1.4 billion light-years away from Earth and we see it now then this all happened 1.4 BILLION YEARS AGO. The system is not causing, blasting, or aiming. The system caused, blasted, aimed.

Since this already happened 1.4 billion years ago why the FUCK are they using the Present Participle?

Edit: Also, how would a young-earth creationist explain our observations of a system 1.4 billion light years away if the universe is only six thousand years old?

On Tony Snow

“The average Iranian is more Pro-American than virtually any college faculty in this country.”


While listening to sibling talk about her upcomming wedding she listed her reasons for getting married. These reasons include and seem to be limited to "love", "living together", and "babies". I know that one need not marry in order to love or live with someone. Upon consulting wikipedia I learned that "Marriage is not a prerequisite for having children." So I began to wonder what would happen if one removed the stupid shit from the equation and analysed objectively what the social institution of marriage actually did for the individuals involved.

I found this handy list of "Rights and responsibilities of marriages in the United States" which contained that which I desired. It seems that marriage is, in fact, not required to procreate, live together, or love one another. Marriage does, however, bestow certain rights such as power of attorney, survivor's benefits, various tax and legal benefits, and one's spouse's flower sales count towards meeting the eligibility for Fresh Cut Flowers and Fresh Cut Greens Promotion and Information Act.

So, since living together, loving one another, and making babies are in no way related to marriage as a social institution I must ask, "What the fuck?" If one desires to read books one need not obtain a library card. If one desires to live together, love one another, and procreate one need not get married.

I understand that there is a plethora of stupid shit that is baggaged onto the idea of marriage. But if we removed that stupid shit from the equation and view marriage as it actually is the necessity fades away and we are left with a bundle of legalese where once there existed a social proclamation of love.

Great words

All that needs to be said about this link is w00t!!