4.2 Earthquake in Indiana Fills Slow News Day

At 8 a.m. eastern time a 4.2 earthquake occurred 15 miles east-southeast of Kokomo, 15 miles west-southwest from Marion and 50 miles north of Indianapolis, prompting numerous news agencies to fill previously unfilled minutes with needless witness reports.

Anne Magenthorpe of Kokomo reported that the earthquake "felt like the ground was shaking." When pressed for details Magenthorpe expounded: "Well, it shook. Like, prior to the earthquake there was no shaking. Then the earthquake happened and, whoa, the earth shook."

Paul Raginkrotch of Carmel reportedly "felt a shaking" as if "something had been shaken." Asked if the event was similar to any other Raginkrotch stated, "Well, you know how trains kind of shake the ground? This was like that, only more shaking."

Geologist Terry Nevarlade provided a scientific spin on the earthquake: "During an earthquake the ground shakes. Like, you know how when things move they send out vibrations? An earthquake is like that...but the earth is what moves...and shakes."

USGS specialist Hershal Bangenmom released a memo to news agencies indicating that the official USGS webpage for recent Indiana earthquakes has been updated, as there is now a more recent Indiana earthquake than the previous Indiana earthquake. When asked why the page was updated, Bangenmom replied, "Because there was an earthquake...in Indiana...this morning."

If the day's news continues to be uneventful numerous agencies plan on airing a brief documentary this evening entitled: 'Earthquakes, they shake the ground.'

Mark Souder, Adultery, and Resignation

Fuck you, Mark Souder.
Fuck you.

Mark Souder: Intelligent Design, Purpose, Fall

I personally believe that there is no issue more important to our society than intelligent design. I believe that if there wasn't a purpose in designing you - regardless of who you view the designer as being - then, from my perspective, you can't be fallen from that design. If you can't be fallen from that design, there's no point to evangelism.
As an evangelical Christian, I believe the premise of a fall being at the core of reforming lives. I believe the concept of grace and forgiveness comes from having fallen from something.

- Mark Souder


Part 1: "Purpose"
"I believe that if there wasn't a purpose in designing you - regardless of who you view the designer as being - then, from my perspective, you can't be fallen from that design."
Translation:
If there was not a purpose in designing X then X cannot be fallen from that design.

Let's say I design a coffee pot. By Mark Souder's logic there cannot be a fallen coffee pot from that design unless there was purpose in designing the coffee pot. This raises the question of what a "fallen coffee pot" would be.


Part 2: "Fallen"
"I believe the premise of a fall being at the core of reforming lives. I believe the concept of grace and forgiveness comes from having fallen from something."

"Fallen" is a concept derived from a notion of having fallen from something. One might infer that fallen denotes a "higher" state of being from which one might have fallen. So, presumably, there was a "higher" state from which the coffee pot "fell". But what the fuck does this mean?


Part 3: What the fuck is wrong with Mark Souder?

If there was not a purpose in designing X then X cannot be fallen from that design.

To "fall" one must fail to meet some expectation. The problem, I think, is that Mark Souder confuses "purpose" and "design". A "fallen" state may exist with regard to both "purpose" and "design". With regard to a coffee pot there is both a "design" and a "purpose"; "design" and "purpose" are two separate and distinct things.

Mark Souder is fundamentally incorrect. X may certainly "fall" from a design, fail to meet a design, regardless of the "purpose" for X. "Design" and "purpose" are not interchangeable terms. Purpose and Design are seperate and distinct. "Design" regards a manner of formulation, a structure, an organization. "Purpose" is "intent". One may design with regard to an intended purpose (purpose as "holding coffee"), but the purpose for which a coffee pot is made is sepereate and distinct from the design (the physical structure and formulation) of a particular coffee pot.

So, "if there was not a purpose in designing X then X cannot be fallen from that design" is nonsense.

And Mark Souder can go fuck himself with a shit-encrusted crucifix which has previously been used to bash the skulls of third-trimester fetuses.

Obama Wins Indiana

American Teen: The Trailer

AmericanTeenTheMovie.com

This is going to be surreal.

Indiana Beat Hillary Clinton

Per this Washington Post article:

Hillary and Bill Clinton were optimistic as they approached primary day on May 6. They dipped once again into their personal fortune, lending her campaign $1.4 million more in the week before the Indiana and North Carolina votes. At least three campaign officials described the Clintons as furious when they saw the results in the two states.

Indiana proved to be the bigger disappointment, even though Clinton won there. What irked her advisers was that Clinton got no credit for what they saw as a come-from-behind victory. Even more irritating was that, because ballots were being held back in the Obama stronghold of Lake County, across the state line from his home town, Chicago, the networks declined to call the race for Clinton until after midnight.

The most effective phase of her campaign "came to a screeching halt the night of Indiana and North Carolina," said a senior aide. "The change was discernible almost immediately.

Indiana Primary Results Map

For your convenience:
Indiana Primary Results Map

Clinton, O’Reilly, South Bend

This will be interesting.

Hillary Clinton will make her first visit to “the no-spin zone,” sitting down with FOX News’ Bill O’Reilly for a two-part interview to air Wednesday and Thursday.

The Democratic presidential hopeful will meet O’Reilly on Wednesday in South Bend, Ind., where the two are expected to discuss a wide range of topics, both foreign and domestic.

IU Bans Smoking

Around this time last year I noticed that people were making plans to ban smoking on IU campus. I thought it was a silly idea, what with there already being bans on smoking near doorways and at bus stops, the kinds of bans that keep the crowds smoke-free, while still allowing for smoking in the emptier or more avoidable areas.

And though I thought the ban was silly, I was fearful that if these people were serious about enacting such a thing, that they'd probably get their way. I mean, what can a group of smokers say in their defense that wouldn't essentially be an insubstantial and yellow-toothed "dont' tread on me"? And that's assuming that smokers would even have the energy to stand up for themselves. We're a pretty relaxed group, after all.

Today I read this article in the student newspaper. The interview with the sophomore makes it sound like the whole plan came together because a bunch of people thought smoking was "icky" and banning it would "just, you know, be like, nicer". Which is irritating, but only about as irritating as, say, having someone smoke near you, so I'll let it slide.

My hope is that there will be a month or two of warnings and the occasional example made of some unlucky guy before the ban is just outright ignored. Who's going to enforce this damn rule? “Normally that is handled through the office of student ethics at the dean’s office,” Minger said. “They would be enforcing that kind of regulation.” What the hell does that mean? Do I need to swing by the dean's office and blow a big fat smoke ring in his face in order to get called out for smoking? Or is the scene that keeps playing in my head where I'm running from a bunch of angry old professors all Benny Hill-style how this is going to play out? It'll be interesting to find out.

Indiana is the Best

LINK

BP gets break on dumping in lake
Refinery expansion entices Indiana

By Michael Hawthorne
Tribune staff reporter
Published July 15, 2007

The massive BP oil refinery in Whiting, Ind., is planning to dump significantly more ammonia and industrial sludge into Lake Michigan, running counter to years of efforts to clean up the Great Lakes.

Indiana regulators exempted BP from state environmental laws to clear the way for a $3.8 billion expansion that will allow the company to refine heavier Canadian crude oil. They justified the move in part by noting the project will create 80 new jobs.

Under BP's new state water permit, the refinery—already one of the largest polluters along the Great Lakes—can release 54 percent more ammonia and 35 percent more sludge into Lake Michigan each day. Ammonia promotes algae blooms that can kill fish, while sludge is full of concentrated heavy metals.

The refinery will still meet federal water pollution guidelines. But federal and state officials acknowledge this marks the first time in years that a company has been allowed to dump more toxic waste into Lake Michigan.

BP, which aggressively markets itself as an environmentally friendly corporation, is investing heavily in Canadian crude oil to reduce its reliance on sources in the Middle East. Extracting petroleum from the thick goop is a dirtier process than conventional methods. It also requires more energy that could significantly increase greenhouse gases linked to global warming.

Environmental groups and dozens of neighbors pleaded with BP to install more effective pollution controls at the nation's fourth-largest refinery, which rises above the lakeshore about 3 miles southeast of the Illinois-Indiana border.

Indiana: Decidedly average.

This made me lol.

"Your chances of surviving a heart attack or heart failure in Indiana's hospitals are about as good as they are anywhere else in the country."

Hurray for being...average?