Saturday, January 3, 2009

Clean Coal [chat]

This week we watch as the coal industry tries to explain how coal is clean.

Mark Souder: Intelligent Design, Purpose, Fall

I personally believe that there is no issue more important to our society than intelligent design. I believe that if there wasn't a purpose in designing you - regardless of who you view the designer as being - then, from my perspective, you can't be fallen from that design. If you can't be fallen from that design, there's no point to evangelism.
As an evangelical Christian, I believe the premise of a fall being at the core of reforming lives. I believe the concept of grace and forgiveness comes from having fallen from something.
- Mark Souder


Part 1: "Purpose"
"I believe that if there wasn't a purpose in designing you - regardless of who you view the designer as being - then, from my perspective, you can't be fallen from that design."
Translation:
If there was not a purpose in designing X then X cannot be fallen from that design.

Let's say I design a coffee pot. By Mark Souder's logic there cannot be a fallen coffee pot from that design unless there was purpose in designing the coffee pot. This raises the question of what a "fallen coffee pot" would be.


Part 2: "Fallen"
"I believe the premise of a fall being at the core of reforming lives. I believe the concept of grace and forgiveness comes from having fallen from something."

"Fallen" is a concept derived from a notion of having fallen from something. One might infer that fallen denotes a "higher" state of being from which one might have fallen. So, presumably, there was a "higher" state from which the coffee pot "fell". But what the fuck does this mean?


Part 3: What the fuck is wrong with Mark Souder?

If there was not a purpose in designing X then X cannot be fallen from that design.

To "fall" one must fail to meet some expectation. The problem, I think, is that Mark Souder confuses "purpose" and "design". A "fallen" state may exist with regard to both "purpose" and "design". With regard to a coffee pot there is both a "design" and a "purpose"; "design" and "purpose" are two separate and distinct things.

Mark Souder is fundamentally incorrect. X may certainly "fall" from a design, fail to meet a design, regardless of the "purpose" for X. "Design" and "purpose" are not interchangeable terms. Purpose and Design are seperate and distinct. "Design" regards a manner of formulation, a structure, an organization. "Purpose" is "intent". One may design with regard to an intended purpose (purpose as "holding coffee"), but the purpose for which a coffee pot is made is sepereate and distinct from the design (the physical structure and formulation) of a particular coffee pot.

So, "if there was not a purpose in designing X then X cannot be fallen from that design" is nonsense.

And Mark Souder can go fuck himself with a shit-encrusted crucifix which has previously been used to bash the skulls of third-trimester fetuses.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

American Teen: Fuck Jake Tusing

There is a rule which states that Mikey is always wrong about everything, ever. The corollary to this rule is that, usually, Mikey is correct. So when Mikey said that American Teen was a shitty, anger inducing movie I expected American teen to be an awesome movie. Unfortunately, due to the corollary to the rule, American Teen was not awesome.

The primary question to ask after watching this movie is what THE FUCK is wrong with that Tusing kid? The pimple-faced nerdy guy has three attractive women thrown at him (not to mention the lap dances in Mexico) and he fucks up the relationship every god damned time! Nerdy Freshman girl? He ignores her. Nerdy hot girl at semi-formal? He refuses to dance with her. Busty girl he has flown in to the prom? Who the fuck knows how he screwed that up. Yet inevitably the nerdy sympathetic character becomes the least sympathetic of the lot.

Tusing acts as a microcosm of the problem with American Teen: THESE PEOPLE ARE ALL CONTRIVED FUCKS! The Tusing kid loses women because he ignores them. The hot popular girl creates her own problems. The insane outsider girl's problems all only ever exist in her own head. And the popular male jock? He was the only sympathetic character as a result of his dad (go, basketball, go) being the cause of all his problems. All of the conflict in the movie occurs as a result of horrible people doing horrible things. Usually? To their selves.

The entire narrative of American Teen drips of narcissism and unbelieveability caked in a tapestry of unconcerned self-loathing and self-love. These characters (they truly cease to be human beings after the first ten minutes) simply waft about doing horrible things to one another without any provocation.

What the fuck happened to Erica, the girl who sent out the topless picture of herself in the first act? Everyone in the school shares her topless picture and then the movie continues on without resolution? When outsider girl was dumped at the beginning she couldn't go to school for weeks. Then when popular jock dumps her in a text she continues on as if nothing happened? And is it just me or is Ally one of satan's evil temptress minions cloaked in giggles and cleavage whose primary fixation is upon manipulating the lives of those around her as she attempts to steal the spotlight?

American Teen was a horrible movie whose primary failure is its own source material. It bypasses an exploration of the trials of adolescence by fixating on the particular pitfalls of the lives of its simply malevolent characters. These are not good people. These are not interesting people. Rather than providing an interesting narrative concerning adolescence American Teen provides the audience with an hour and a half long train wreck propelled by the perpetual doltish ineptitude of its shithead cast.

Go Tigers

-J- Explains WoW

If anyone for Blizzard is reading this, please give this man a Job

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Demetri Martin: If I

Apparently no one has anything to say this week. So, I'm going to post all six parts of Demetri Martin's "If I" Special. Watch it.

Part 1:


Part 2:


Part 3:


Part 4:


Part 5:


Part 6: