Saturday, April 19, 2008

I am Iron [chat]

I think it's really cool that Ozzy Osbourne was willing to write a theme song for Iron Man. Maybe he and Robert Downy Jr. are really close friends.

Friday, April 18, 2008

No Intelligence Allowed: The April 18th Earthquake

If on the day of the theatrical release of Ben Stein's movie Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed an earthquake violently shakes the Bible Belt I think we need to address the situation and, where necessary, reconcile what happened in reality with our beliefs.

Some might argue that this is merely a coincidence which contains no meaning or message; an earthquake is entirely a geological, natural process. Such individuals will cling to science and empiricism and so offer an explanation rooted in mechanical explanations of reality. They will argue that upon this earthquake there were no fingerprints of a deity, that this quake was not intelligently designed and triggered but rather this was merely a geological process.

Others will argue that this earthquake, this violent shaking of the Bible Belt on the exact same day that Ben Stein's movie is released could not have happened by chance, by coincidence. The last Wabash Valley Fault System activity occurred in 1968 after which it remained inactive for 40 years! Certainly it is not mere chance, mere coincidence that this Fault System would release a 5.2 quake violently shaking the Bible Belt on this day! Certainly this is a sign from God, a divinely created event meant to convey a message!

How are we to rectify this situation, to discover the truth of the April 18th earthquake? To answer this question one must assess one's primary assumption of reality.

If one's primary assumption of reality features a preference for scientific, empirical, observable, falsifiable explanations and understandings of reality then one ought to dismiss this situation as mere coincidence. Films are released, tectonic plates shift, and there is no relation between the two.

If one's primary assumption of reality features a preference for theological, unempirical, unverifiable, non-falsifiable, Biblical explanations and understandings of reality then one ought to embrace this situation as a sign from God; a certain display of his displeasure and a warning against buying tickets for this film. If on the day a film arguing for intelligent design is released a 5.2 earthquake occurs within the Bible Belt on a fault which has been inactive for 40 years this must be a sign from God that one must not attend the film.

So which is it? Coincidence or Providence? Darwinian Chance or Intelligent Design? Which does consistency require you to accept?

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Mac / XP User Accounts

So this morning someone changed the user account name on the Mac. Upon restarting ths system they noticed that their desktop items were gone, their settings were changed, and that stupid "start bar" rip-off on the bottom of their screen lacked about seven shortcuts. So guess what I got to do this morning. Yup, I got to try and figure out how user accounts function on a Mac. Which reminded me of another thing I hate about computing: Computer User Accounts.

The ability to have multiple user accounts on one physical machine is needless, stupid, problematic, and heretofore half-assed, flawed, and entirely not functional.

Let's say we have a computer used by Fuckass, Dipshit, and Todd. They each set up their own user account so that Fuckass can have his Limp Bizkit background, Dipshit can use his Simpsons sound scheme, and Todd can utilize his Windows bestiality theme. Hurrah! We've just set up three different user accounts with corresponding folder trees and duplication of data for AESTHETIC PURPOSES!

Additionally, let's assume that Todd contracts a virus while perusing bestiality sites. Since Todd is a different user than Fuckass and Dipshit this means that the virus is contained to only Todd's account, correct? WRONGO! As the virus infects the machine the data upon that machine is universally infected. These user accounts are not actually entities wholly self-sufficient and removed from one another but rather are simply routines which load data from corresponding folders. So when Todd downloads a virus Fuckass and Dipshit have a virus as well, a problem which could have been avoided by everyone using their own damn machine.

Now let's talk about permissions. Fuck permissions. Gee, how can we needlessly complicate the process of computer repair, setup, and use? I know! Let's put multiple user accounts on the same machine and then give each user account different permissions! Won't that be awesome?! It sure will!

"But wait," you say, "if permissions are a problem why not just log on as Administrator?" To which I reply, "Alright, but then WHY DOESN'T FUCKING EVERYONE WHO USES THE GOD DAMNED COMPUTER LOG ON AS ADMINISTRATOR?!"

How about each computer has one user, one password, one collection of settings? Instead of needlessly allowing users the option of creating their own functionally irrelevant aesthetic tweaks what if Fuckass, Dipshit, and Todd have to pick one background, one sound scheme, one everything. And if Fuckass doesn't trust Dipshit, Dipshit secretly resents Todd, and Todd constantly deletes the files of Fuckass and Dipshit then, well, maybe they each ought to have their own fucking computer.

Oh yeah, and instead of saving website passwords to a specific user account how about you just fucking remember all of your passwords you slack-jawed, intellectually destitute cock wrangler?

Just about neat enough to warrant a post

Just wanted to break this out, make sure it didn't get buried in the chat thread-


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Zero Punctuation: Condemned 2

Fuck Virginia Tech

The Virginia Tech Shooting happened a Year Ago. And CNN thinks that it is important to tell us about how tragic it was.

Well you know what. Fuck them and fuck there tragedy. The VT shootings came during one of the worst weeks of fighting in Iraq last year, and suddenly it was more important to talk about another school shooting, carried about by mentally ill kid who had been picked on by fuckhole bullies.

And it is shit like this causes dumbfucks to think that caring guns to class is going to stop shitheads from shooting up schools. Inasmuch as we are all pussies for nothing fighting back.


How many Virginia Tech Students does it take to screw in a Light Bulb?
What is yellow and goes pop?

Virgina Tech: We Remember, LoL Cho Remembers

One year ago today the deadliest school shooting in U.S. history took place at Virginia Tech. Seung-Hui Cho killed 32 people before turning the gun on himself for reasons still unknown.

This senseless act of violence still lingers in the memories of students, faculty, and staff as it will for their entire lives. Certainly on the one year anniversary feelings of grief, confusion, loss, and pain will reawaken in these individuals whose lives were forever changed by what happened one year ago today.

While we remember the losses of this tragic, needless shooting we must also remember Cho, the delusional asshat who needlessly murdered fellow classmates in an effort to make a poorly worded, idiotic point rooted in senseless hatred and childish misunderstanding.

For that reason I think it entirely sensible and justified to remove any semblance of stigma or justification from the memory of Seung-Hui Cho and rather openly mock the dipshit by portraying his idiotic, self-destructive crusade in a manner befitting a dolt of his level:

Fuck you, Seung-Hui Cho. Fuck you and your Pokeymans.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Obama: Elite means good

It has reached the point where the only sensible course of action is to bang one's head on a concrete slab.

Clinton and McCain are now lobbing the "elitist" label at Obama. Presumably this is meant to be derogatory, to drag Obama down and lessen his appeal by portraying him as being above the common man, an individual estranged from normalcy and the herd. Meanwhile, Clinton inhabits bars and relates stories of when she was taught to shoot while McCain wants to repeal the gas tax this summer. So Clinton has become an alcoholic gun nut. McCain is an irresponsible panderer. Obama is an elitist, educated entity estranged from the normalcy of day to day life. And Obama's image is the one in trouble.

Think about that. Then find a good spot at the head banging wall. Elitist is a pejorative; smart is a pejorative. Obama's campaign is damaged by other candidates saying that he is better than they are, that he is an elite entity while they are average, familiar, mundane.

What, I ask, the fuck?

I understand that it is rhetorically mundane to use the notion of a thing as "backwards", that this expression is trite and overused. Unfortunately this whole mess really is fucking backwards.

How unaware do voters have to be to see "elitist" as problematic, as undesirable, as bad? When did smart become a pejorative? What the fuck is wrong with these people?

My guess? It's this shit right here as provided by McCain:
"Hope in America is not based on delusion, but in the faith that everything is possible in America."

The problem, dipshit, is that it IS delusion.

The intricately constructed trap of American society encapsulated in the American Dream is designed to lure peasants (That's right. You're fucking peasants.) into the notion that they are the victors, that theirs is the goal to which one ought strive. Buy a house. Make babies. Vote for a dipshit. Dwell in the muck and strive for the mundane as you pray to invisible men in the sky so that they might bless you with piddly levels of wealth with which you may buy that which you do not need.

We're in this backwards-ass society in which elite is bad, in which middling is the height to which we strive. Citizens have taken to heart the story of Icarus: do not fly too high; do not achieve too much; do not stray from the herd. Strive to be smart but not too smart; good but not elite. They have latched onto the notion that the people for whom they vote need to be just like them. They do not want educated, responsible, qualified individuals running the country. They want plain spoken good old boys with whom they can share a beer and who will never use words they do not understand.

And they are wrong.

Elite is not bad, you fuckers. Elite is good. We need a president whose abilities and dreams and ambitions are above those of the common man. We are not electing a drinking buddy, "one of the guys", another George W. Bush with well-intentioned idiocy enmeshed in 4th grade level plain-spoken ignorance. We need an Obama, an elitist, an individual who is above the mundane. We need to elect a president who is better than we are and not another worthless fucking clod.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Obama: The bane of bitter idiots.

At a private fundraiser this weekend Obama made the following statement:

"You go into these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton Administration and the Bush Administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are going to regenerate and they have not. And it's not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

This morning American Research Group reported that Clinton now leads 57% to 37% where before the "bitter" statement Obama was only 5% behind. So, apparently, Obama pissed some people off with that statement. And hell if I can figure out why.

The statement is not inaccurate. Disenfranchised, embittered people embrace scapegoats to explain their frustrating predicaments. They cling to guns as a symbol of power against the system which they think has betrayed them. They cling to religion as a security blanket against the harsh reality in which they live. They lash out at immigrant workers, supposed terrorists, and any other readily available scapegoat onto which they can grasp in an effort to make themselves feel better, to shift the blame from their own inadequacies onto the shoulders of those perceived to be usurpers and thieves.

Clinton portrayed the comment as "elitist and divisive". Her campain now focuses on the quote as indicative of Obama's elitist attitude, his lack of respect and appreciation for the working class. I'm sure the 24 hour news networks will be inundated with pablum regarding whether or not Obama is an elitist poo head.

I am at something of a loss here. The statement was not inaccurate, insulting, or problematic. It was not false. But now a bunch of racist gun loving Isaiah quoting dipshits are leading a slack-jawed, poorly spelled campaign against Obama as Clinton's minions spin the spin and lie.

I hope this all sorts itself out and the enraged masses pull their heads out of their asses, read the damn quote, and shut the fuck up. Unfortunately this time the pissed off idiots are the genuine idiots; the gun totin', bible thumpin', immigrant hatin' dregs of society.

Hell hath no fury like a dipshit scorned.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

VGA Game Grading


Somewhere I have the book that came with Legend of Zelda, Super Mario 2 and 3. I kept most of the books, but never the boxes. The Zelda book was great. I had a map of to up the lower 1/3 of the Overworld and marked the location of the first four dungeons. Needless to say, it was not in good shape after playing the shit out of that game

oh well.

What's VGA, you ask? No, it's not Spike's Video Game Awards. It's the Video Game Authority, a group that issues grades based on the condition of old video games, in a manner similar to action figures and trading cards. After paying a fee, gamers send in their beloved collectibles, which are graded and sealed in tamper-evident acrylic cases, marked with the official hologram of the organization. The first of these VGA-graded items are currently up for auction on eBay.

Currently available are near-mint copies of Super Mario Bros. 3, Final Fantasy, Metal Gear and others, all in the 75-85 grade range. Final Fantasy is notably already up over $200, and Super Mario Bros. 3 isn't far behind. If nothing else, those NES games look damn sexy in those plastic cases.