Saturday, June 5, 2010

Top Fill Fail [chat]

If you own any stock in seafood related companies I would suggest selling. Because, well, we're all going to die.

Though, this does answer the age-old question: Can mud solve all our problems?

No, no it cannot.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Sue Lowden agrees with Rand Paul

RALSTON: Do you think that Rand Paul was right that the Civil Rights Act should not have extended to private businesses?
LOWDEN: This is what I say. I’m more interested in what we’re doing here in Nevada.
RALSTON: It’s a simple question.
LOWDEN: It’s a simple question, but it’s a gotcha’ question, frankly. I wouldn’t even know Rand Paul if I saw him on the street.
RALSTON: I’m not asking about Rand Paul.
LOWDEN: I haven’t been watching that race.
RALSTON: Do you think the Civil Rights Act should apply to private businesses?
LOWDEN: I think you want to change the subject from what’s really happening. Nobody’s asking that question, Jon.
RALSTON: So you’re not going to answer it?

Every politician needs to be asked this question for the next 3 years.

BP Cap trapping 1,000 barrels out of a possible 19,000


The cap BP lowered over the pipe spilling oil into the Gulf of Mexico is now capturing 1/19the oil gushing out of the pipe.

How does that make you feel, Mr. Water Fowl?

Shut the Fuck Up, John Boehner.

John Boehner Demands Paul McCartney Apologize For Bush Jab

House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) is demanding that Paul McCartney apologize for expressing his gratitude that America again has a president "who knows what a library is," Human Events' Connie Hair reports.

"Like millions of other Americans, I have always had a good impression of Paul McCartney and thought of him as a classy guy, but I was surprised and disappointed by the lack of grace and respect he displayed at the White House," Boehner said in a statement. "I hope he'll apologize to the American people for his conduct which demeaned him, the White House and President Obama."

Are you fucking kidding me? He's not going to demand that BP apologize but is going to demand that Paul McCartney apologize?

That's just fucking perfect.

Cat and Beanbag Filler

If you do not want to mentally deal with the oil spill then feel free to watch this video of a kitten playing in beanbag filler.

Oil Spill, Jindal, Moratorium, Fuck FUck Fuck FucK FuCK

The above is a video of pelicans covered in crude oil, slowly succumbing to a petroleum-based death. Watch it. Then read about how Jindal wants Obama to not place a moratorium on offshore drilling. Then feel free to sit down on the floor and cry.

You see, Jindal is worried that the moratorium on drilling would result in a loss of 6,000 jobs in the next three weeks, and 20,000 by the end of next year. He understands that the reason for this moratorium is to allow inspectors time to discern the causes of the April explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig which resulted in the current spill pumping thousands of gallons of crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico every day. He understands that the point of the moratorium is to strive to prevent another such spill from happening. But, man, it really would be a shame to lose those 6,000 jobs. So, instead of actively preventing another such spill, we just need to hope for the best.

Because Bobby Jindal, and really the whole Conservative wing of American Politics, is a fucking stupid fuckass fuckbrained fuckhole of fucking moronic fuck.

I don't even fucking know how to fucking...I mean...fucking...fucking read this shit:

Obama’s six-month ban on new offshore drilling while a commission investigates BP Plc’s Gulf of Mexico oil spill may slow employment gains after U.S. payrolls in April had the biggest surge in four years.
Oh noes! It would slow employment gains!? Man, that would suck! What do you think about possibly slowing employment gains, Mr Water Fowl covered in crude oil?

Oh that's fucking right; you can't fucking give your opinion because you're fucking covered in fucking crude oil from the fucking BP fuckass fuckhole oil rig! But I'm sure that, deep in your water fowl heart, you understand that it's more important to keep those 6,000 jobs than strive to prevent another oil spill.

I don't even, what the fuck goes on in Bobby Jindal's mind, in a conservative's mind, when shit like this happens? I mean, Sarah Palin blames this all on the environmentalists, because she's a fucking moron. But do these fucking idiots actually, in their fucking minds, fucking honestly fucking think (Jobs > Environment)? I mean, REALLY? That's how they work? Is THIS their decision making process:

Because I do not fucking get that.

I, you, me, Mr. Water Fowl, every fucking living entity on this fucking planet is dependent upon the welfare of the planet to survive. I don't care how fucking often you say "technology" or how fucking special you think people are, we are fucking biological organisms the survival of which is dependent upon our eco-system; we cannot fucking live without a place to fucking live.

Like, really, where the fuck do Palin and Jindal think fish come from, shrimp come from? Do they, in their little fucking minds, think that we can spill 19,000 barrels of crude oil a day into the Gulf of Mexico and still have shrimp? Do they think that shrimp just magically appears in Wal-mart's freezer section? Do we have this infinite supply of fish the existence of which is independent of the state of the ocean? Does the oxygen we breathe not, in part, come to be as a result of carbon dioxide being absorbed by micro-organisms living in the Gulf of Mexico, all of which are now fucking dead?

It's like they just don't fucking get it; that so long as we steadily increase our economic standing everything will be fine and dandy. Fuck the planet, fuck the environment, fuck the pelicans, we need to increase those numbers in databases which have no ontological referent for worth. We need those 6,000 jobs more than we need the Gulf of Mexico. It's ok if we kill all the fucking shrimp and fish and pelicans, because jobs.

What the fuck is wrong with these fucks?

Obama is right; venting, yelling, and screaming will not solve the problem; the leak will not be fixed by persons yelling or venting. But, I mean....


The BP oil spill is effectively enacting an environmental genocide against more fish, shrimp, dolphins, birds, and various other assorted living beings than died in Auschwitz, than died in the entire holocaust. But that's fucking fine, because pelicans don't vote. And since they don't vote they don't matter. So, if 6,000 people lose their 6,000 jobs that is a tragedy. If hundreds of species go extinct, if the Gulf of Mexico is irreparably damaged that's fine, so long as we can keep increasing those numbers in those databases.

At some point this completely irrational nonsense we pass off as public policy, as environmental policy, as government and politics and economy and the human way of life is going to finally fuck things to the point where our entire species will die as a result of self-inflicted ecological suicide. And when that happens it will be a fantastic day, as the earth will finally be rid of the only species which values intangible nonsense over the welfare of living beings. I just hope there is a pelican, a dolphin, a sea turtle left when that day comes. Because they didn't do anything; they didn't bring this about.

We did.

And if there's any fucking justice in the world then we're going to have to suffer some universally mandated comeuppance for how badly we've fucked things up. But BP CEO Tony Hayward doesn't care about that. He doesn't give two shits about marine life, about the environment, about the planet. He just wants his life back.

Yeah. You know what, shithead? I can think of another organism that wants its life back:

Shockwave, YOU'RE in Charge!

Godsdamned Gamestop knows how to abuse their own style....

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Glee Season Finale Preview: JOURNEY

It's Titled JOURNEY. You know what that means.

The episode song preview is available. You can get it anyway you want it.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Scott Pilgrim VS. The World: TV Spot 1

Bread makes you fat.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Oil Spill + Hurricane: Spin Art

As you well know, hurricane season starts June 1st. Given that it is May 30th and the oil spill has yet to be stopped it is quite likely that millions of gallons of crude oil will be spilling into the Gulf of Mexico during hurricane season, which could provide for a very interesting large-scale version of Spin Art.

If you do not frequent you may have missed their article entitled Hurricanes Versus the Oil Spill, which very briefly covers some impacts the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico could have on any hurricanes this season. also has an article which downplays the impact the oil spill could have on any hurricanes. Generally, the articles seem to indicate that the oil spill will not have much effect on hurricanes, as hurricanes are quite sizeable and the oil spill is, relatively, small (about the size of Delaware). For my part, I'm not so much interested in the impact the oil spill will have on hurricanes, but rather the impact hurricanes will have on the oil spill.

If you play around with the U.S. landfall tracker you can find that hurricanes tend to hop into the Gulf of Mexico, which was cool until millions of gallons of oil started spilling into the region with no hope of an expedient fix.

I do not have anything funny or insightful to say. I just wanted you to be aware of the fact that in the next few weeks a rotating mass of 100+ mile per hour winds could find its way into the Gulf of Mexico while millions of gallons of crude oil are gushing to the surface.

Think (Food Processor + Water + Olive Oil) - Lid.

We're all going to die.

Guster Happier Live: Inexplicably Good Quality

It is of inexplicably good quality for a live version recorded by someone of whom no one has ever heard.