Saturday, May 10, 2008

Vote [chat]

If you live in Indiana or North Carolina it would probably behoove the human species if you voted on Tuesday, May 6th.

Unless you vote for Kang.

""I need everybody's help," Obama said. "This is going to be a close race.""

Friday, May 9, 2008

Hillabee Clinton hates your math

Hillary's campaign has reached border-line pathetic. She's running out of money while her fund raising proves to be less and less effective (she amassed $10 million after her Pennsylvania win but just $1 million after Indiana). Her latest idiotic stunt, a letter to Democrats was signed by only 16 out of the 233 Democrats in the House. ABC is now reporting that Obama has more Super Delegates than Clinton, which may or may not be meaningless given that everyone calculates Super Delegates differently.

Now, Clinton is going to win West Virginia and Kentucky, given that these states are full of racists (less a criticism than an observation), and Obama will probably win Oregon so giving him the delegates required to grasp the nomination.

So what, I ask, the fuck is Hillary doing? Aside from making a Huckabee-esque 'math vs miracles' argument she's not really accomplishing anything short of irritating people. Certainly Hillary is not obligated to drop out; if she wants to spend more of her own money in some sort of quazi-orgasmic trek towards self-destruction then more power to her. But I'm trying to figure out who other than herself this course of action behooves.

I can see some advantage in terms of rallying her "genitalia voters", the morons who base their vote on the fact that Hillary has a vagina instead of a penis. She'll continue to receive support from uneducated white voters, a block of voters I find to be laughable. But other than that isn't she merely dragging this out in the hope that Obama gets hit by a bus?

What does that say about Hillary? What does that say about her campaign? Is her refusal to quit a sign of steadfastness and dedication or rather stubborn grasping at imaginary straws? Is she running out of spite for Obama? What does she think she's doing?

I'm trying to play devil's advocate and justify her continued pursuit of the nomination. I'm trying to see whatever it is that keeps her in the race. I'm trying to see her actions as justified, reasonable, and beneficial to Democrats.

But all I can come up with is "Hillabee".

Thursday, May 8, 2008

He is your Overlord

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Crunching the Numbers (With Whiteboards)

Tim Russert and Brian Williams Crunch the Numbers in tonight's NBC Nightly News.
Same breakdown as Chuck Todd did last night around 1.30am. But with visual aids.

Zero Punctuation: SSBB Mailbag

Cross Edge


Cross Edge is a new RPG due out in Japan for the PlayStation 3 this September that is a collaboration between some of the top names in the genre. Nippon Ichi, Gust, Namco Bandai, Idea Factory, and even Capcom have lent their properties to this superstar game, which features characters from Darkstalkers, Disgaea, Ar Tonelico, and many more. Hell, a game with Etna and Morrigan together alone is worth eleventy million dollars. The game features turn-based battles, a plot that involves rescuing souls, and...if you look to the bottom right corner of the scan...the ability to dress your characters up in a wide variety of outfits, from PE clothes to devil costumes.

Clinton's 48 State Platitude

"It would be a little strange to have a nominee chosen by 48 states"

Much as I love watching the Clinton campaign's belabored grasping at Michigan and Florida under the guise of fairness, democracy, and whatever-the-fuck other bullshit platitude they can concoct I'm getting really fucking sick and tired of watching her dipshit supporters cheer her on as if her position is justified and she's attempting to overcome the big meanie-heads over at the DNC.

Back in August/September of 2007 when it became apparent to everyone that people in Florida and Michigan can't read a fucking calendar the DNC decided that since people in Florida and Michigan can't read a fucking calendar they oughtn't participate in the nominating of a Democratic candidate. So the DNC sent the Four State Pledge form to each of the campaigns so ensuring that candidates would not participate in the Florida and Michigan primaries.

And Hillary Clinton signed the form.

Despite signing the form Clinton left her name on the ballot in Michigan saying:
"It's clear, this election they're having is not going to count for anything. But I just personally did not want to set up a situation where the Republicans are going to be campaigning between now and whenever, and then after the nomination, we have to go in and repair the damage to be ready to win Michigan in 2008."

At the time, you see, Michigan and Florida didn't really matter so Clinton did not care about them. Eight months later, though, it turns out that Florida and Michigan are significant to Clinton's success. So now she cares about them.

And know it or not that's what her mud-fucking-stupid supporters are cheering for when they moronically clap for her "it would be a little strange to have a nominee chosen by 48 states" platitudes. They're clapping for Hillary's tendency to ignore things until they personally affect her. They're applauding Hillary's obvious disregard for the concerns and value of each and every particular state. They're cheering for her selfish desire to win despite the rules of the process and the will of the people.

"It's clear, this election they're having is not going to count for anything."

That's what Hillary said after Michigan was stripped of its delegates. She did not fight for Michigan. She did not stand up for Michigan's right to participate. She did not care because at the time Michigan did not matter to her own personal success.

And know it or not, Hillary supporters? That is exactly how she feels about each and every one of you. Right now you matter to her only because her personal success depends on you. But once the process has ended, the crisis is averted, and she's moved on? You, Hillary Clinton supporter, are "not going to count for anything".

Because she won't need you anymore.

And you would be more than capable of dismissing this as merely the mean-spirited snipe from an Obama supporter if it weren't demonstrably true.

Last Night Big Loser

Clinton lost last night. She is done. But McCain got fucked.

In the GOP primaries in North Carolina and Indiana, the basically uncontested Republican nominee did not gain more than 80 percent of the vote.

In Indiana, McCain earned the backing of 78 percent of Republican primary voters, with exited candidates Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney gaining 10 percent and five percent respectively. Congressman Ron Paul, who is still in the race, has received seven percent of the vote.

The numbers were even worse in North Carolina, where McCain won 74 percent of the vote, with Huckabee earning 12 percent, Paul earning seven percent, and four percent of Republican primary goers simply voting "no preference."

That is a lot of pissed of people who may not show up in November. McCain is in a bit of a bind. He not only has to tell people he is a maverick centrist (which is he is not). He also has to, at the same time, tell people he is a conservative stalwart. The best part is. The cameras will be on the whole time. People will figure out that he is full of shit, AND a sad lonely old man with a plastic wife.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Obama's N. Carolina Speech

Indiana Primary Results Map

For your convenience:
Indiana Primary Results Map

Indiana: Truth or Pander

"Indiana's voting for Ritchie. If there was someone less competent than Ritchie on the ballot, that's who Indiana'd be voting for." - Toby Ziegler, 20 Hours in America Part I

As an individual born and raised in Indiana I have to say that I fully agree with the sentiment expressed in the above quote. It would be nice, though, if this time we could vote for a worthwhile candidate who actually merits attention, respect, and a degree of pride.

I really don't understand how someone can be undecided at this point in the election without allowing for the possibility of some mental deficiency on their part. It is not difficult to make a decision; making decisions is one of the easiest tasks to complete for a human being: You simply decide. Listening to people in the office today, though, you would think that making a decision is nigh-impossible.

So allow me to summarize the Democratic race for president in the most objective and accurate way possible, with no bias or spin:

Issue: Gas Tax Holiday

Hillary Clinton: I support the Gas Tax Holiday because it will save voters a cumulative sum of $30 at the pump this summer. I do not care about the lasting impact of this Gas Tax Holiday; I do not care about the merits of the program. I want to maintain a position that makes it more likely that people will vote for me.

Barak Obama: Barak Obama opposes the Gas Tax Holiday because, in part, More than 230 economists -- Democrats, Republicans, advisers to past presidents and four Nobel laureates -- signed a letter today opposing proposals by Clinton and presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain to suspend the 18-cent federal gas tax for the summer driving season.

That's your choice. Gender does not matter. Skin color does not matter. Spouses do not matter. The past does not matter.

One candidate will tell you what you want to hear. One candidate will tell you the truth.

That's what this election is about: When given the option do you pick what you want to hear or do you pick the truth?

Monday, May 5, 2008

One for the Self-Loathing in All of Us.

Kotaku Bias: GTA IV Behooves No One

One of the characteristics of Kotaku which irks me is that all of their posts are written from the pro-gamer perspective. And not in the "we like playing game" sense but rather in the foaming at the mouth "we must set Jack Thompson on fire" sense. While I've touched on this before and it's not a big deal in the overall scheme of life the release of GTA IV has brought this asinine Kotaku bias to the forefront of my attention once again.

You see, a small TV station in Savannah, Ga. reported on the fact that one can drive drunk in GTA IV. When the jackasses at Kotaku heard about this they got pissy. You can read about the particular manner in which they got pissy if you follow the link I've now posted four times. But my focus in this rant shall be not on the bulk of the post but rather on the closing paragraph of their little ranty-rant:

Why is it valid to assume that all bad acts realistically portrayed in a game will be imitated in the real world, but it's out of the realm of possibility that those same bad acts cannot also deliver a deterrent message?

Ignoring Owen Good's inexplicable use of the word "valid", which we'll assume is merely a sign of his less than significant grasp of logic, I think this is an excellent example of Kotaku's bias and rampant, unflinching idiocy.

I don't think the problem with GTA IV's drunk driving is that "all bad acts realistically portrayed in a game will be imitated in the real world". First of all, we're not talking about "all bad acts" since we're only talking about drunk driving, asshole. Secondly, drunk driving is not "realistically portrayed" given that, you know, if in GTA IV you drunkenly wreck into a family of four your life is not forever changed as a result of their death and your imprisonment; you merely start the level over, jackass.

This isn't a difficult concept to grasp but since you, Owen Good, obviously missed it I'll explain: It probably does not behoove society for individuals to be exposed to a form of entertainment that belittles the consequences of drunk driving and presents drunk driving as an entertaining challenge at which one may succeed, jackass. And to accommodate your "all" categorization I'll happily go further than claim that GTA IV probably does not behoove society given that it portrays murder, prostitution, theft, violence, and a vast array of other vices in a sanitary, safe, and consequence-free manner.

And to your little "but it's out of the realm of possibility that those same bad acts cannot also deliver a deterrent message" platitude? Fuck you for using "out of the realm of possibility" you sniveling little brat. Also, I'm pretty sure GTA IV does not deliver a deterrent message given that the selling point of the game is that you can run around Liberty City being an asshole.

You know, Owen Good, you're free to continue your little charlatan jackass facade as you pander to your readers and defend a game from which you collect advertising revenue (a nice little conflict of interest), but don't try to tell me that it's a delightful boon on society that the current gamer zeitgeist is such that people stop playing Wii Tennis and WoW so that they can run around in GTA IV being jackasses. Don't try to defend this shitty excuse for deranged escapism as some cautionary tale containing a deep social message which raises gamers to some higher plane of understanding, nuance, and benevolence towards their common man.

GTA IV allows gamers to wallow in their own crapulence and appeals to their most base desires. GTA IV belittles some of the most problematic burdens on our society and portrays a lifestyle which helps no one as a lark, a delightful little vacation from normalcy. GTA IV is a shitty, shitty game which behooves no one and makes this world a worse place in which to live.

Don't try to gussy it up as having some sort of social merit. That just makes you look like a delusional fucking moron.