It ain't easy being [chat]

Resent Stories about Jenna Bush

While people are scattered to the winds this weekend (GenCon, moving, etc), I cannot let this story slip between the cracks.

This afternoon the White House announced that on the President Bush's daughters Jenna Bush was engaged to be married. What amazing lovely news this is. The last time a sitting president had a kid get hitched was way back in 1971, when Nixon accounted that is daughter was getting married. (a side note, the next day the Washington post began to print the Pentagon Papers)

It did not take long for those evil bloggers to jump on the story. Wonkette began by running a story (with pictures) arguing that Ms. Bush was totally knocked up. How awesome when a a 6 year old joke from the Onion turns to to be true?

This is why we have the internet

So this guy reviews games and is hilarious. More to be found on his user page through YouTube, and now on The Escapist.

Be a better Ignorant Racist.

A note from mikey: There are five parts. The first one can be found here

Mikey sent me a link to a youtube video about Prussian Blue, a "white nationalist folk teen duo" composed of two hot teenage Nazis. The five ten minute segments show the girls and their family interracting, performing, going about their daily lives, and making some of the characteristic mistakes ignorant racists make. So, in an effort to help out these two hot Nazis, I present...

Be A Better Ignorant Racist in 9 Easy Steps!

1. If you aren't Aryan don't talk about Aryan dominance. I can't stress this enough. If you endorse the agenda of Aryan dominance and don't have blonde hair and blue eyes you ought to at least be willing to dye your hair and wear colored contact lenses. The problem is that if anyone finds out that you dyed your hair and wear colored contact lenses you're going to suffer some media fallout. So, if you aren't Aryan, it's best to just leave "Aryan Dominance" out of your rhetoric.

2. Get the broken down trucks and tractors out of your yard. A well-manicured lawn can provide a wonderful backdrop to your polished rhetoric. Nobody is going to take you seriously if you talk about "cleansing the races" if you can't even cleanse your lawn.

3. Stay on message! During interviews, radio shows, television spots, or any public appearance you need to ensure that you and everyone else on your side stay on message! A cohesive presentation of family and group is vital to enhancing your rhetoric. If an elderly member of your family says, "I'm sick of all this Nazi shit." during an interview you've lost the "family first" audience. Nobody wants to adopt an ideology that tears a family apart!

4. Fabricate your Facts carefully! If you want to give examples of lesser races destroying society you need to craft realistic facts that seem true. Of course you must play to the fears of your audience, but you can also broaden your message by keeping your fudged facts realistic. If you use a broad brush to paint an entire race of people you risk that there may be some in that group who are known to your audience who go against your stereotype. If you fabricate lesser, more specific faults on specific members of a race then you can allow your listener, on their own, to create their own stereotypes from your specific examples.

5. Keep a civil tongue! Anyone can spew hate and vulgarity at the same time. A polished ignorant racist with a civil tongue will appeal to a broader audience.

6. Dress Professionally. Selling your ideology is also an attept at selling yourself. Don't wear your hog sloppin' clothing to a rally or an interview. Invest in a few professional outfits so that you can present a clean, professional, business face for your ignorant racisim.

7. Sex sells! Don't be afraid to bring a little sex into your presentation. Give your audience someone pretty to look at while you fill their mind with ignorant racism. Nobody wants to stare at a disheveled old man advocating an ideology of hate!

8. For God's Sake don't kill people or animals in public! You don't have to actually lynch someone to show that you would lynch someone. Keep the more violent "oogie" aspects of your ideology reserved for your hard-core audience. If you lynch someone in a town square in broad daylight people will think you're crazy, not a refined ignorant racist.

9. Play down the anti-semitism. Blaming the Jews is so 1930s. Besides, if you are advocating the ideology of the ignorant racist people will assume that you hate Jews. You don't have to say it. In the year 2007 there are far more groups upon which you can focus your hate. Pick a new group upon which you can focus and the jews and the blacks will be assumed into your ideology by the audience.

Hopefully these tips will help those delightful hot Nazis of Prussian Blue. I promise that if you follow these 9 easy steps and you'll be collecting followers faster than a Jew collects taxes!

First SW Pocketmodel Interview Up!

The site I frequent about the Star Wars Pocketmodel TCG arranged some interviews with members of WizKids who work on the game. The first interview is up.

Mike Elliott interview.

If I remember correctly Mike Elliott wrote for magicthegathering.com. Also, the Taun Taun / Star Destroyer question and the Faction question were submitted by teh _J_. :)

o hi

Sweetest of Christmases.

Genndy Tartakovsky. Luke Cage. Silk Shirt. Tiara.

4 issues.

Hell. Yes.

Roscoe doesn't know html, which means he is a stupid poo-poo head.

School Uniforms / Human Life

School Uniforms: I came into the office today to find people talking about school uniforms and how they thought they were a good idea.
1) They're cheaper than having to buy lots of other outfits
2) They reduce "mean girl syndrome" and "make everyone equal".

To 1: They're cheaper if you wear expensive clothing. You can get a lifetime supply of black t-shirts and cargo pants for a very reasonable fee.

To 2: Yes, let's make kids even less prepared for reality. The reality of the situation is that poor people get made fun of. The reality if the situation is that if you don't have what the cool kids have then the cool kids will mock and reject you. At some point one must face this reality and suck it the fuck up. When better to learn the lesson? When you are a child, protected by your parents and supported by them? Or when you go off to college and your parents aren't around? Attempts to make human beings equal are asinine because, newsflash, people aren't equal.

Human Life: Last night on the Colbert Report the guest was some guy who runs a group which tries to get better information on food packaging. They're also the people who got KFC to use a different sort of oil for frying chicken. A few times during the interview they guy said things like, "If we do X we can save 10,000 lives."

I was thinking about it, and I can't remember ever being presented with an argument for why saving lives is a good thing. In yesterday's rant we learned that if we start to run out of people we can make more. So why is it good to keep alive the people we already have? Have you driven in Indy during rush hour? Would it hurt for half of those people to be dead? Have you been to the food section of Wal-Mart? Would it be harmful to the planet if half of that food was not there, because half of the customers didn't exist?

I don't think so.

And forgetting that argument, do we really need better labels on food? Is there anyone who actually thinks that eating at McDonalds is a good thing? I mean, forgetting anyone who thinks McDonalds is healthy AND thinks there is an invisible man living in the sky. If we start putting calorie counts on McDonalds menues are people going to realize, "Holy shit! These things are bad for me!" Probably not. You can inundate people with information all you want, but they still aren't going to come home and snack on carrot sticks.

The problem is not that we need to supply more information. The problem is that some people don't pay attention to things. Providing them with more information to ignore isn't going to help. It's the same problem that exists with the idea that putting a bigger warning label on a pack of fags will accomplish anything. Instead of making things bigger and using more words that no one will read how about we get people to read the words that already exist?

screencap of the day

From Episode 2F07 Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy
which Aired on December 4, 1994

YOU'RE BEING RECORDED!!!!

One would think that eventually these people would realize that the boxes they're talking into RECORD WHAT THEY SAY.

Dick Cheney in 1994 on why American Shouldn't Invade Iraq:

Two Stories that may have nothing to do with one another

The 1st: Where is your god now?
turns out, he/she/it/they were/are/is hidding in an Egg Plant












I think it says Gid, which as far as i know is a obscure Irish insult. Which Brings me to....

Story #2: Girl OD's on espresso.

Jasmine Willis, 17, developed a fever and began hyperventilating after drinking seven double espressos while working at her family's sandwich shop.

She might not be the best looking girl in the world, but it is well known that i have a thing for over-indulgent Irish Girls. Rember that time that i drank all that espressos at Court House. I think i got off easy with a bad case of the shits.

No, it's a choice.

The fundies were outside Planned Parenthood again today with their "It's not a choice. It's a child." signs. Apparently they haven't seen my sign:



The whole situation bugs me. Forgetting the fact that these are men in their 50s holding the signs, it IS a choice and it's NOT a child! And even if it is a child, which it's not, how is it not still a choice? Child and Choice are not opposites.

And why do these men in their 50s want more people? Are we running low? My understanding is that we have enough people, thank you very much, and that even if we do start to run out we can always make more. We're not pandas. We have enough of us and if we need more we can easily get some.

Also, where in the Bible does it say, "Thou shalt not piss out zygotes"? I still haven't found that passage and I've been through Leviticus twice.

Karl Rove Resigns

KARL ROVE RESIGNS!

You will be hearing many kind words as you leave Washington, Mr. Rove. Don't for a moment think that any will come from everyoneisasith.

Go fuck yourself, Mr. Rove. Go fuck yourself hard.

Update: No, seriously, go fuck yourself.