Preventing Cable Company Fuckery

http://www.fcc.gov/comments

What Makes You Die

Modern wheat is a "perfect, chronic poison," according to Dr. William Davis, a cardiologist who has published a book all about the world's most popular grain.

Davis said that the wheat we eat these days isn't the wheat your grandma had: "It's an 18-inch tall plant created by genetic research in the '60s and '70s," he said on "CBS This Morning." "This thing has many new features nobody told you about, such as there's a new protein in this thing called gliadin. It's not gluten. I'm not addressing people with gluten sensitivities and celiac disease. I'm talking about everybody else because everybody else is susceptible to the gliadin protein that is an opiate. This thing binds into the opiate receptors in your brain and in most people stimulates appetite, such that we consume 440 more calories per day, 365 days per year."
 

Turns out those stupid bitches in the cereal commercial weren't seeing nutrition after all.

Arrested Development: New Episodes & Movie

The cult classic television comedy about the travails of the rich, zany Bluth family, cancelled in 2006 after three seasons, will produce nine to ten new episodes and a movie, it was announced at The New Yorker Festival on Sunday.

Source

Obama: Osama Bin Laden Is Dead

Somebody just won re-election.

First World War ends Sunday

The First World War will officially end on Sunday when Germany pays off the last of the enormous debt which was set by the Allies 92 years ago.

So, that's a thing.

NBC: Fried Chicken for Black History Month

NBC Serves Fried Chicken & Collard Greens In Celebration Of Black History Month

They stole our joke.

Ryan Reynolds: Deadpool AND The Green Lantern

Ryan Reynolds has landed the coveted role of “Green Lantern,” getting the starring role in Warner Bros.' live-action film based on the DC Comics hero.

Ryan Reynolds: Deadpool AND The Green Lantern.

You figure it out. I'm done caring about superhero movies.

Imageshack Anti-Sec hack?

Imageshack seems to have just shit itself insofar as every imageshack image now displays this:

#CNNFail: Because CNN is a bunch of shitheads

If you are not aware of why #CNNFail exists it might be worth a few minutes of your time to read about it. When the riots broke out in Iran over the election fraud all of our news networks at least mentioned it...except for CNN.

It's pretty fucking sad when a thread in the PA forums contains more information than a 24-hour news network.

Shit be resized

Kyle fixed the template formatting so that we can fit hulu / youtube videos into the main window without cutting off the sides. The new post width is 625 pixels. The whole page is 880 pixels.

So, you know, thank Kyle.

Prophesy fulfilled: A Funny Achewood

Behold that on this day, May 4, 2009, there was delivered unto us that which had been prophesized since time untold; a miracle for which many had yearned and waited patiently throughout their natural life. We have waited for this day and, lo, this day has finally arrived.

I give to you...a funny Achewood strip.

Stare not directly at it! But merely glance upon it. For this humor, while pure and just, did come from a source which was itself inexplicably humorless since its conception until this most holy of days.

We have waited for nigh on eight years, we zealots for the comics of the web. We have waited and our patience has been rewarded. We have waited and our hopes have been fulfilled. We have waited and we have finally received that for which we yearned.

Rejoice!

Teabagging: Sucking Testicles for Lower Taxes

So the Huffington Post has managed to forge something of a nexus of teabagging which provides up-to-the-minute scrotum-sucking updates on today's teabagging protests. It serves as a delightful chronicling of today's activities which are, themselves, basically a montage of the high points of the last election cycle, the republican national convention, and a gay pride parade / episode of Oz which is meticulously crafted to the height of absurdity.

In addition, youaredumb.net is celebrating a week-long Mr. T themed "pity the fool" celebration of all things teabagging. Which I think gives the protest the respect it deserves.

What I'm trying to figure out as I sit here not doing work is what I'm supposed to think of this. Individuals within the 95% of citizens who have received a tax cut are protesting the unfair taxation they've received under the Obama administration. After one laughs one's balls off...what does one do? Ought I pity the fools?

If we're going by the facts then the protestors are incorrect. Perhaps they are mistaken and are simply reacting to what they have been told by Fox News...but oughtn't I expect individuals in their mid 50s to be literate and inquisitive? Presumably they would, at the very least, utilize multiple news outlets rather than simply barking to Glenn Beck's whistle. But is that asking too much?

Sure, it's funny. Yes, I enjoy making scrotum jokes. And I do take a bit of delight in knowing that, somewhere, there is a dump truck full of teabags driving around D.C. as a result of the protestors not filling out the correct forms required to dump teabags on a tarp in a park...but...isn't it problematic that there are some who are not laughing at this?

At this moment there are individuals who take these protests seriously. That seems problematic.

These are the people:

Fuck "No Cussing Week". Fuck McKay Hatch.

So, McKay Hatch started a 'No Cussing Club' at his school because he was sick and fucking tired of putting up with fuckers who cuss all the god damned time. The city of Los Angeles, since it has solved all other problems, has so declared this to be No Cussing Week. So, if you are in Los Angeles this week, you had god damned better not fucking cuss.

Ok, now that the obligatory jokes are out of the way...

What is the difference between calling someone a "fuck-brained shithead" and an "unread, vapid moron"? Per McKay Hatch's argument, the former, which contains cursing, is detrimental whereas the latter, which does not contain cursing, is not detrimental. Well, of course McKay Hatch does not think that. Calling someone an "unread, vapid moron" is, probably, detrimental to that persons sense of well-being.

The question to ask, then, is if language other than cursing can prove detrimental to individuals, if the removal of cursing alone does not remove the "problem" of hurtful language, then why focus upon the cursing? If the motto of the club is "LEAVE PEOPLE BETTER THAN YOU FOUND THEM!"* then whence the focus upon cursing? To simply abstain from cursing is not to necessarily "better" others. I, for example, could damage the emotions of many without ever cursing. But I own a Thesaurus.

I could understand attemping to better others by engaging in behaviors which actually better others in significant ways. But to focus a club upon the removal of cursing and assume that to be a significant means of bettering others is just plain fucking stupid. It demonstrates an inability to clearly understand the linear progression of causes and effects. Cursing is not the sole cause of harm. Cursing, I would wager, is not even a significant cause of harm when one considers the great realm of harmful things.

So if you want people to stop cursing? That's fine. If you want to better others? That's fine, too. But don't conflate the two.

You specious, juvenile, erroneous, unfounded, illogical dolt.

*Yes, I read your fucking site, asshole.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO _J_!!!

Exactly one year ago it was my birthday. Through some fluke in the calendar it happens to be the case that, again this year, IT R MY TEH BIRTHDAY!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, _J_!



Today is totally my birthday. Or, as I like to think of it, "Christmas in December". Today is a day upon which all reflect upon the degree to which I am FUCKING AWESOME!

I shall spend the day writing a feminism paper which is due tomorrow at 4. But you, in your free time, may spend the day reflecting upon the ways in which _J_ has improved your life, made the world a better place, and generally been awesome for this past year.

That or you can post a birthday lolcat which will make me lol. Or buy me a whore.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, _J_! _J_ IS GREAT!

WMD attack by 2013 "More Likely Than Not"

OH MY FUCKS NO!!!!!

Zombie Helen Thomas to cover Obama White House

Sorry, that was a cheap shot at an 88 year old woman. She could kick our asses

FOX CANCELS MAD TV

Fox Cancels Mad TV

Fox told Salzman the decision to ax the show was an economic one.

"They said it was too expensive for a daypart where dollars have been shrinking," he said. "Their thought was, the show is what the show is, and that essence needs to be maintained -- but it's hard to produce as big and ambitious a show as ours for less money than they're paying now."

There's also the fact that the show COMPLETELY SUCKED ASS AND WAS TERRIBLE!

US attacks Syria; Syria fucking pissed.

The U.S. News Networks are not reporting this, but it might interest you to know that the United States attacked Syria. And, as one might imagine, Syria is pretty fucking pissed.

Iraq has denounced a raid into Syria at the weekend, saying it does not want its territory to be used as a launch-pad for US attacks on its neighbours. Syria urged the UN Security Council to hold the US responsible for the attack, which it says killed eight civilians. And Syria's cabinet called the attack "barbaric", ordering a US school and cultural centre in Damascus to be shut.

Unnamed US officials have said the operation killed a key figure involved in the smuggling of fighters into Iraq. But Syrian foreign minister Walid Muallem denied the US claims calling them "totally unjustified".

'War crime attempt'

He branded the attack a "war crime attempt" and said it had claimed the lives of civilians - a father and his three children, a farm guard and his wife, and a fisherman.

"The Iraqi government rejects the US helicopter strike on Syrian territory, considering that Iraq's constitution does not allow its land to be a base for launching attacks on neighbouring countries," he said.

So now when World War 3 starts at least you'll know why.

Man loses Hat, killed by Ninja

Source:

VALENCIA, Calif. — A 20-year-old man was listed in critical condition after he was struck by a roller coaster at Six Flags Magic Mountain Saturday in Valencia.

The man lost his hat on a ride and climbed two security fences to retrieve it, park officials said. That's when he was struck by the Ninja roller coaster and knocked unconscious.

He remained hospitalized Wednesday. No other details were provided about his injuries.

The roller coaster, which reaches speeds of 55 mph, was shut down until state inspectors determine whether the accident was related to the ride.

The man's name has not been released.

Rachel Maddow gets own MSNBC show

Starting September 8 Rachel Maddow will begin hosting her own show on MSNBC. Keith Olbermann made it official with a post in his diary at Daily Kos.

This is super awesome! I loved listening to her radio show when I could get Air America when I lived in Iowa City, and having her be apart of MSNBC's election coverage has been great. She has been very good at cutting through a lot of the bullshit. And her battles-slash-lovefests with Pat Buchanan were epic.

There is no format set, at least according to Olbermann's post. I really hope they break away from partisan-hackery of Glenn Beck or Bill-o. MSNBC has Hardball for that sort of bullshit. Indeed I think her show should be issue focused, not talking-head focused. She has always been very good at digging into specific issues. Give her and her guests space to get inside and explore a single topic without the pressure of a 5 minute segment.

Oh, and MSNBC is bias and full of liberals who hate America and the American Way of Life.