Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Great Grains: Relativism and Cereal




Fuck this commercial.
 
I will grant that nutritional information can be confusing.  As limited, finite knowers no particular theory of health will be certainly true for all people, at all times.  Experts hazard a hypothesis, test it, and then modify it as need be.
 
But that process in no way justifies the subjectivist feeling-based horseshit articulated by this fuckheaded commercial.
 
"Various experts disagree on nutrition!"
 
"So I'm not listening to anyone but myself."
 
"Ha.  Ha."
 
No.
 
It is in no way helpful to the human species for cereal commercials to convey the notion that "You know healthy when you see it", that you're just as good a judge of health as a nutritionist, as a medical expert.  Seeing a fucking whole grain in a bowl does not grant your bitch ass with an advanced degree.
 
Moreover, there is a god damned fact to the matter.  Food-X will have a particular causal impact on your biological self.  You don't get to fucking pick and choose what that impact will be.  The basic chemical composition of the object you ingest will interact with your digestive system in a pre-determined way.  It's not based upon opinions, perspectives, or feewings.  If you want to discern the impact a particular food will have on your health then seek out empirical data on that shit.  Herping and Derping while you giggle in a wheat field won't fucking cut it.
 
Finally?
 
"You can't argue with nutrition you can see."
 
YOU CAN'T SEE NUTRITION, CUNT!
 
"Nutrition" is a process of obtaining food for health and growth.  You can't fuck SEE that process.  A process is not seen.  A process is inferred from particular sights.
 
God damn it.
 
It's one thing for politicians to articulate this subjectivist nonsense.  And hearing it from students is somewhat understandable, given that they are products of this fucked up culture.
 
But now we're getting this line from cereal commercials?!  Post Holdings is hopping aboard the Post-Modern bandwagon?
 
There's a pun to be made of that, but I'm too fucking pissed off to try.
 
FUCK!

2 comments:

_J_ said...

He just kept screaming about this cereal commercial.

We finally had to put him down.

It was for the best.

Caleb said...

I love this.