Satoru Iwata on Friend Codes, Shitcocks

Nintendo president Satoru Iwata on Friend Codes:

First of all, I don't think the current system we have with friend codes is perfect. However, if it's an online world where you can get access to anybody without any restrictions, I as a father do not feel like allowing my daughter be engaged in that kind of world.

I can appreciate a parent not wanting their child subjected to the X-Box Live netherworld of shitcocks and skull-fucking idiocy. That's a sensible stance for a responsible parent to take. The problems, though, are in thinking that Friend Codes are a safeguard against this and restricting all users to Friend Codes.

Friend Codes don't protect your kid.
Friend Codes limit the community in which a child can participate online; one can only play online games with people on one's Friend List. But what controls the Friend List? GameFaqs, Gaming Forums, and a plethora of online sources provide children with the codes of people they do not know. Any child can add the friend code of "CandyMan69" to their Animal Crossing game and so collect peaches with CandyMan69 provided that CandyMan69 has their Friend Code as well. A flaw in the system? Yes. Friend Codes are the illusion of control against predators but actual control against playing with random people online.

Not everyone needs Friend Codes
This is, I think, the important issue. Yes, we can nitpick Friend Codes and question their utility in protecting children. But the larger issue is that not everyone needs Friend Codes. There are some people who are suited to the X-Box Live method of playing with random other people. Some people would enjoy the ability to play Animal Crossing with random other people. Limiting these users out of a desire to create the illusion of safety for minors is nonsense. So, what is sensible?

Make Friend Codes Optional
It is entirely sensible to create a system some can use and others can ignore. There is no problem with restricting minors to Friend Codes while opening up an online community to others who do not necessarily need to be protected from Pedophiles by the sensible middle-aged loli-loving men at Nintendo. Supplanting parent responsibility with a top-down method of controlling user interaction is just silly. Providing multiple channels of online play, multiple approaches to the online community would be a sensible approach. Leave Friend Codes in place for users who only ever want to interact with people whose Friend Codes they have. That's fine. But there also needs to be an open community which can revel in random matchups and the hurling of "shitcock" and "jewlizard" at one another.

We oughtn't abandon the hope of protecting minors from shitcocks. But we need to realistically assess the situation and consider the merits of Friend Codes rather than rush to the "protect teh childrenz" defense and ignore reality.

Wii MotionPlus: The Wiimote works now

It appears to be the case that Nintendo finally made the Wii do what they said it would do in the first fucking place:

The real stand-out of the three games was Swordplay, which has you wielding a two-handed sword in bouts to knock either an AI-controlled mii or a friend off the raised platform you're fighting on.

The precision of the controls was, in a word, astounding. I found that I could move the tip of the sword around in tight figure eights, an old training exercise from my fencing days. I also didn't have to rely on broad swings from either side and above to hit my opponent. The controller was able to sense thrusts as well.

The game had a little trouble keeping up with fast attacks, but if I slowed my attacks down a bit it was easy to direct and land attacks and parries.

Wii MotionPlus

The Wii MotionPlus:

Nintendo's upcoming Wii™ MotionPlus accessory for the revolutionary Wii Remote™ controller again redefines game control, by more quickly and accurately reflecting motions in a 3-D space. The Wii MotionPlus accessory attaches to the end of the Wii Remote and, combined with the accelerometer and the sensor bar, allows for more comprehensive tracking of a player's arm position and orientation, providing players with an unmatched level of precision and immersion.

Next up is the Wii MotionPlusPlus followed shortly by the Wii MotionPlusPlusPlus and finally there is a Wii MotionPlusPlusPlusPlus slated for release in 2024.

FFCC: MLAAK is delightful thus far

Picked up FFCC: MLAAK last night when I got back home. Downloaded it around midnight and proceeded to play it till 5:30 am. I would have continued to play longer but Teenie was not excited to see me still awake at such time.

I'm sure you have all read the reviews about it and know the most basic concepts so I will just write about the things I found delightful. As a student of Ogre Battle, I understand and really quite enjoy letting my troops fight for me, so the lack of combat doesn't bother me at all. The turns seem a little short to me, as you only have a short amount of time to wander your city and allow your adventurers to do their jobs. I was overjoyed to see that the game actually tries to explain the FFCC storyline unlike the orginal's half assed attempt at story, which was very frustrating.

The genius of the game however is that it auto saves at the end of each day, but you can't find out how your adventurers did until the next day, so it sucks you into it's cycle curious to find out how your adventurers did on their quest. When you find out how they have fared, it quickly starts you off on the next day expecting you to set up quests for the current day. You can not save until the end of the day so it continues you in this cycle of curiosity, constantly pulling you further along leaving you no chance to stop playing, thus the delightful addiction.

Mike Capps: Wii is a Virus

Mike Capps, president of Epic Games, made the most accurate summary of the Wii I have heretofore heard:

It's a virus where you buy it and you play it with your friends and they're like, "Oh my God that's so cool, I'm gonna go buy it." So you stop playing it after two months, but they buy it and they stop playing it after two months but they've showed it to someone else who then go out and buy it and so on. Everyone I know bought one and nobody turns it on. Obviously there's a class of people who really love it and enjoy it and are getting into the games but I'm still waiting for that one game that makes me play it.

The only word I would add to his assessment is "gimmick".

The Gimick Unleashed.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed is coming to the Wii.

Here are some articles.

Apparently the nunchuck will control force powers and the Wiimote will control the lightsaber.

Now the questions are:
1) How shitty will the nunchuck controls be?
2) Will the wiimote actually control the lightsaber or will it be the celda-esque swing up/swing down/swing left/swing right/stand up/sit down/fight/fight/fight?

Metroid Prime 3

I may not have yet finished playing Metroid Prime 3, and I may be talking to people who may never even begin to play it, but I won't let trivial matters like those get in my way of bullet-point reviewing it.

1) There is more talking in the first five minutes of MP3 than in the entirety of every other Metroid game combined, and these people need to shut up.

I may be wrong about that, as my memory of MP2 is hazy at best, but usually Metroid is a readin' game. Not that I oppose automatically to voicing games that used to be silent, but when people talk, that means there are PEOPLE (plural), as opposed to, say, ONE PERSON (the player). And again, I don't hate it just because it's different, but because it is a waste of time and it goes against the whole solitary nature of the series to date.

2) I am happy to aim my gun with the Wiimote, but don't make me push and pull and twist the damn thing just to open a door.

This refusal to make a Wii game that doesn't have at least 10 retardedly useless wiimote commands thing needs to pass along. This is especially true in cases where I need to make a motion that prevents my death, and the hardware does not agree with the motion I am making.

3) Everything else is pretty great.

Shooting aliens, reading stuff, it's all here.

I give Metroid Prime 3 one jelly sandwich out of a possible thermostat.

We officially have a Wii

Teenie and I have a wii now. As of this moment, we are totally cool. Thanks, you may now return to your regularly scheduled boredom.

I missed getting a Wii by 30 seconds.

I missed getting a Wii by 30 seconds. I walked into On Goody right behind the woman who got it. She walked into the store and walked right up the the counter. I walked in and went the other way, then noticed the sign saying they had a Wii.

If I had gotten there 30 seconds earlier? Or, really, just 15 seconds, or however much time it would have taken to be in front of that woman? I would have a Wii right now.

But I don't. Because I was 30 seconds too slow.

You know what? That woman is probably a time traveler. I bet she traveled through time 30 seconds into the future just so she could be in front of me.

DAMN YOU, TIME TRAVELERS!!!

So I still don't have a Wii, because of Time Travelers. But I do have Arrested Development, because it was on sale. And the Time Travelers could not take that from me.