"Only a Sith deals in absolutes" - Obi-Wan Kenobi
Disagree?
To travel 8 feet one must travel 4 feet. To travel 4 feet one must travel 2 feet. To travel 2 feet one must travel 1 foot. To travel 1 foot one must travel 1/2 foot. To travel 1/2 foot one must travel 1/4 foot. To travel 1/4 foot one must travel 1/8 foot...
Clips from EVERY DAILY SHOW are available at www.thedailyshow.com. Do you know what that means?
EVERY EVEN STEVPHEN EVER IS AVAILABLE!!!!
The greatest segment the Daily Show has ever or will ever do.
For interested parties here are some numbers.
Number of visits to our blog this past week:
11/3: 271
11/4: 375
11/5: 534
11/6: 495
11/7: 388
11/8: 267
Since October 9th:
2,903 visitors
67.96% of the visits from "new" sources.
The Hellgate London Skill Tree post has received 3,349 pageviews. That is 49.84% of our total pageviews.
I think this is a bit funny. Apple released Update 1.1.2 for the iPhone / iPod Touch today allowing users to add calendar entries via the device. The update has already been jailbroken. I assume Apple is a bit irritated by that.
Even better, just guess what they're playing? But don't guess after you've heard the first three notes, cause that's too easy.
It occurred to me today that we should have a formal proof that shows that everyone is indeed a Sith.
Notes:
The premises are that 1. All people deal in absolutes and 2. only a Sith deals in absolutes (if x deals in absolutes, then x is a Sith). After that is a little busy work, then the assumption of a person. Given that there is a person, that person must deal in absolutes, and must therefore be a Sith.
Premise 1 isn't exactly elegant, and I'm open to suggestions for better ones.
#10, Radiant Dawn, is out in the US. The Wrathburns own it, though I have to wait til Thanksgiving to see it with mine own eyes. This has the unfortunate effect of completely distracting me from most grade-related forms of productivity; but the point is that until I can get my hands on the game, I figured the next best thing would be to gush over it with other nerds. Cue gushing in comment thread.
And on the very off-chance that you don't know what FE is, pretend I just gave you a very witheringly pitying look, and then go Google it and reform yourself.
I'm going to take a break from being irritated at everything and today write about someone who brightens my week and adds spring to my step, Helen A.S. Popkin.
Helen A.S. Popkin brings joy to reality as MSNBC.com's Netiquette contributor. While some writers may follow the conformist path covering embattled world leaders and congressional oversight, Helen A.S. Popkin focuses on relevant, useful issues which truly impact our lives in diverse and complicated ways. Helen A.S. Popkin has explored the degree to which rabbits are adorable and answered the question Who, exactly, is that 'Leave Britney Alone' guy?. Helen A.S. Popkins is not afraid to traverse the hostile terrain of social networking sights or provide evidence that people look at pornography online. When there was a mass exodus from Myspace to Facebook Helen A.S. Popkin was there to provide her unique insight, "OMG! YR still on MySpace? Loser!".
While the topics she covers are themselves wonderful morsels of joy, Helen A.S. Popkins further delights her readers by providing her own literary style; the delectable icing atop an already diabetically sweet cake of bliss. Within her newest article we the readers are treated to a cavalcade of rhetorical bliss. Through the span of a scant three paragraphs Helen A.S. Popkins writes, "Cute, adorable, smoochie-woochie-whose-a-good-baby-yes-you-are! puppies", "cognitive dissonant", and "True that.".
Not any writer could wield those phrases in three separate articles spanning ranges vast and unknown. But within the same article, nay, within three paragraphs of one another, Helen A.S. Popkin successfully crafts a narrative utilizing voices, styles, and terms which some would say are completely unrelated and in no way harmonious. Helen A.S. Popkin's unapologetic mastery of the English language is an inspiration and a treat.
But perhaps Helen A.S. Popkin's greatest virtue, her most priceless contribution to the cause, is her ability to assess, to focus with honed precision upon the quintessential aspects of her study and provide sharp, decisive critiques:
And also, Twitter is stupid.
It really is. I mean, c’mon. You don’t have to get your bowels in an uproar to know that. Twitter is like an RSS feed to every boring aspect of your friend’s lives. And your friends are boring. How could they not be? Hourly updates on your best bud’s activities get dull pretty fast even if your best bud is Jack Bauer:
“woke up feeling all angsty…left arm tingly”
“oh noes…shot curtis today :-(”
“thinkin i gotta torture this guy. oh well”
“can’t remember last time i peed”
Yawn.
Apparently there are people operating under the name RogueSynapse, and these people apparently spend their time making real versions of video games seen in movies. Their latest project seems to be Starfighter, from The Last Starfighter, but they also have Space Paranoids from TRON, and a demo of what they think Tremors sequels' Graboids would be like.
I'm very glad that there are people who do things like this, and if I could, I would try to make email clients that behave like the ones seen in movies. All flying envelopes and such.
The goal of a television program is to attract viewers. A higher number of viewers means the station can charge more for advertising. When critiquing any television program one must remember always that the goal of the program is to attract viewers. So when Bill O'Reilly does something asinine one must remember that, in part, he is being asinine to attract viewers. When Keith Olbermann releases a Special Comment attacking a President he is, in part, playing to his viewers.
So when I read multiple stories discussing MSNBC's persuit of the "left" demographic I am conflicted as to how to respond.
Fox news tends to have a conservative view on issues. MSNBC, thanks in part to Keith Olbermann's Countdown, has drifted steadily to the left. So are they not both guilty of the same crime? By shifting their programming to reflect the political stances of those who view the network, rather than objectively presenting the news, are not MSNBC and Fox News identical in their guilt with regard to objectivity?
As I said, networks and television shows exist to attract viewers. So is having a liberal or conservative stance necessarily evil? It is certainly not the case that either station is objectively presenting the news; that has not occured for years. But is this wrong? Bad? Detrimental? Can Olbermann continue to refer to Fox as "Faux news" when MSNBC is adopting a liberal stance? Can the pot call the kettle black and somehow be justified? Are Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly two heads of the same non-objective beast.
Or are Keith Olbermann and MSNBC objectively presenting the news and it happens to be the case that reality has a liberal bias?
If you have not been to ronpaul2008.com, Ron Paul's wikipedia page, or the List of Ron Paul's Political Positions I suggest you read them. Ron Paul raised $4.2 million yesterday which is impressive given that he has a touch of the crazy. Before any of you join the "Man, I hate paying Income Taxes...vote Ron Paul!" bandwagon of insanity here is some useful information.
Privacy v. Abortion:
Ron Paul wants to overturn Roe v. Wade. "I think we ought to return the issue to the states so that local opinions could better determine the specific regulations concerning this deeply personal issue." The problem is that Roe v. Wade ruling was based on privacy, "According to the Roe decision, most laws against abortion in the United States violated a constitutional right to privacy under the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment." According to ronpaul2008.com Ron paul maintains a strong belief in privacy and personal liberty. So Ron Paul wants to overturn Roe v. Wade (a ruling based on upholding personal privacy) yet also argues that personal privacy is important and must be protected. So apparently he'll wave the privacy flag so long as doing so harms no zygotes.
Religion:
The War On Religion by Rep. Ron Paul, MD:
"The notion of a rigid separation between church and state has no basis in either the text of the Constitution or the writings of our Founding Fathers. On the contrary, our Founders’ political views were strongly informed by their religious beliefs. Certainly the drafters of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, both replete with references to God, would be aghast at the federal government’s hostility to religion. The establishment clause of the First Amendment was simply intended to forbid the creation of an official state church like the Church of England, not to drive religion out of public life."
Given that the statement is obviously and self-evidently, historically, and demonstrably false there is no need to elaborate. But, on a related issue...
Constitutionalist Libertarian:
Ron Paul's schooling is in Medicine and after his graduation from Duke University School of Medicine his residency was "in obstetrics and gynecology". So, while I would trust him to inspect my vagina I don't think I would trust him to interpret the Constitution.
Birthright Citizenship:
Ron Paul wants to end birthright citizenship. "As long as illegal immigrants know their children born here will be citizens, the incentive to enter the U.S. illegally will remain strong." While that may seem sensible in some situations, if made retroactive this would mean that no one is a U.S. Citizen.
But not all bad:
On the plus side, Ron Paul voted against a flag burning ammendment, votes against internet regulation, and wants to shrink the government significantly.
So, in summary?
While lower taxes and a smaller government which eliminates needless social programs does sound like a blessing, a theocracy led by a gynecologist would probably not behoove anyone.
According to southparkstudios.com this week's episode is entitled "Guitar Queer-o" and is about Guitar Hero.
Thoughts?
Shia LaBoof arrested at Chicago Walgreens.
According to the arresting officer, "First of all, the All Spark is the Transformers afterlife. Secondly, in a TRANSFORMERS movie the main character ought to be, oh, I don't know, a fucking TRANSFORMER! And who the fuck kept shaking the damn camera?!"
The Walgreens manager who made the call was reported as saying, "In the movie LaBoof's dog pees on a Transformer, which is an entirely appropriate summarization of the entire movie."
An uninvolved third party reportedly yelled, "Hey LaBoof, do you masturbate?" as the young star was led out of the store.
As LaBoof was placed in the squad car it screamed, "Are you username: LadiesMan217?"
LaBoof was then shot in the back of the head.
In a related story, Megan Fox was found dead in her apartment. While first reports speculated that she her death was the result of fucking a Camero, an autopsy revealed that she had actually never been alive, but was rather a puppet operated by Charlie Sheen.
