Showing posts with label indiana jones. Show all posts
Showing posts with label indiana jones. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Indiana Jones Wears a Fedora, Assholes

So, there are some people here with whom I hang out on occasion who don't know shit about shit. Usually this is not a problem, as the conversations in which we engage pertain to topics about which I do not care; I have no stake in their interests. However, on occasion our conversations tread into "_J_ territory" the problem with which is that, again, fuckers don't know shit about shit.

So, this evening we were playing a game called Contact. In this game Player-A thinks of a word, provides the first letter of the word, and others try to guess the word by asking questions. For example, Player-A says "The word starts with 'P'." Another person can say "Is it a kind of farm animal?" If a third person thinks they know the word they say "Contact", count back from 10, and then say the word they think the other is thinking, for example, "pig". If Player-A does not say a word which could answer the question asked before the two other individuals say the word, then Player-A provides another letter to the word which Player-A is thinking.

It's not important that you understand all the nuances of the game, but it helps to have a general idea of the game to understand my story.

So, we're playing this game. We have reached the point at which we know that the letters of the word to guess are F-E-D-O. So, I say "Is it something Indiana Jones wears?" Someone says "Contact" and we count down, then both say "Fedora", to which multiple people say, and I quote: "Indiana Jones does not wear a Fedora!"

Because, again, fuckers don't know shit about shit.

At the time I did not have access to the internet, so it was their ignorance against my basic knowledge of Indiana Jones which any sentient individual ought have. I was unable to persuade any of them that Indiana Jones wears a Fedora because, well, there is something fundamentally wrong with these people. But now that I am home, with access to the internet, I shall amass some proof to prove the self-evident truth that Indiana Jones wears a fucking Fedora.

TheRaider.net articulates the history behind Indiana Jones' Fedora.

Indiana Jones wikipedia page discussing Indiana Jones' Fedora.

IndianaJonesHats.net whereat one can buy Indiana Jones' Fedora.

ThinkGeek.com: Indiana Jones Officially Liscensed Fedora.

Indiana Jones wears a Fedora, god damn it.

I realize that in the scheme of things this is not that big of a deal, that perhaps it is not imperative that persons in their late-20s know that Indiana Jones wears a Fedora. But the thing that fucking gets me is that they had the gall to sit there and tell me I was incorrect. I mean, for fuck's sake; they're a bunch of god damned socialist hipsters and I'm a nerd. It is a question of knowing one's place. My expectation is that persons will play to their strengths, recognize their own limitations, and so act in accord with their character.

So you would think that for the sake of maintaining group cohesion they would not try to correct me about Indiana Jones, just as I do not try to correct them about Vampire Weekend.

But, no, that's asking too much.

Friday, May 16, 2008

George Lucas can go Fuck Himself

"I haven't even told Steven or Harrison this," he said. "But I have an idea to make Shia [LeBeouf] the lead character next time and have Harrison [Ford] come back like Sean Connery did in the last movie. I can see it working out.

Source.

The rest of the article contains more Fuck Him Quotes.

Like Star Wars, I cannot say that I am a fan of Indiana Jones. I have seen them all, but they are not movies I go out of my way to see. I will go see the new Indiana movie at some point next week, just like i saw the Star Wars prequels.

But really, who the fuck does Lucas think he is? The only reason I even give a tiny shit about Indiana Jones is Harrison Ford. And there is no one i hate more than LeBeouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuf. No matter what Lucas things LeBeouf != Ford and LeBeouf != Indiana Jones.

No one wanted it [Star Wars: Clone Wars]," he told me. "Every studio rejected it, including Fox, and I'm very loyal to them.


You know why? it sucked on Cartoon Network, and it is going to suck in the theater. The Jig is up Lucas. You are out of goodwill. Take your big ball of money and boring ideas and go home. The sci-fi genre has grown and changed since you helped make it 30 years ago. You keep making the same tired story and the fact that you are a hack becomes more clear.