G8 [chat]

Much like the real G8 we will spend the week talking about things and accomplish nothing by doing so.

Flagship Studios: DEAD

Since for many people EOIAS is little more than "that blog with the Hellgate London Online Skill Tree post", as evidenced by our google analytics report, I thought it sensible to delight in a bit of schadenfreude with our Online Skill Tree seekers over Flagship Studios sinking like a piece of dense, fiberous shit. While we don't know exactly what will happen we do know that:

In summary, Flagship's well is dry, all intellectual property has been lost, all staff fired, and the studio closed. It truly is the end of the line.

I'm sure that some will argue that Flagship's candle going out will not make Blizzard's burn all the brighter. Certainly many will argue that we oughtn't delight over the lives being wrecked by a company ceasing to exist and their jobs being lost.

But as someone who enjoys WoW and mostly hates Hellgate London and its fans I think it poetic fucking justice that Flagship Studios crawled into a hole and died after releasing, if this news is any indication, an incredibly shitty game which no one fucking played.

TONY SNOW IS DEAD! HOORAY!!!!

LINK

Tony Snow, the former White House press secretary and conservative pundit who bedeviled the press corps and charmed millions as a FOX News television and radio host, has died after a long bout with cancer. He was 53.

La La La La La! Tony Snow is Dead! La La La La La! Tony Snow is Dead!

...Really, he charmed millions as a FOX News host? Charmed?

20 Questions

1. Not larger than a breadbox.
2. Not edible.

Bush: Jobs > Environment

The Bush administration on Friday rejected regulating greenhouse gases blamed for global warming, saying it would cause too many job losses.



Fuck the environment. Fuck the atmosphere. Fuck the planet. We need jobs, god damn it. We'll breathe stocks, eat nickles, and shit tax returns!

Hellboy Review: Mike Mignola’s Intellectual Property Theft

Last night I watched Hellboy on FX because it was on and I needed to do something entertaining while I played WoW. After watching the movie twice (FX showed it twice and nothing else was on) I think I've managed to condensed my opinions of Hellboy down to a one word review: Obvious

Hellboy is a very obvious story turned into a very obvious movie. How is it obvious? Well, allow me to explain. Oh, and don't bother to stop me when it becomes predictable.

Hellboy is the story of a Demon brought to earth by Nazis who utilize their knowledge of the occult and access to Rasputin to conjour a portal to Hell in an attempt to access monsterous gods with which they can destroy Poland. (Yeah.) During the Satanic Ritual the Allied Forces overcome the Nazis and "capture" Hellboy. Hellboy is then raised by the U.S. Government and is employed by a Secret Government Organization which fights Paranormal Whatnot. Yes, Hellboy took everything you could already get somewhere else and mashed it together in one convenient package.

And it's not that Hellboy is terrible in itself. The problem is that Hellboy is such a fucking obvious, predictable, rehashed combination of shit you've already experienced. What? You mean Nazis are the bad guys? Oh my god who would have thought of that?! And the Nazis are involved in the occult? That's so fresh! Oh my shit, and Rasputin is involved in the occult? Stop me before I'm unable to accept such ludicrous, unheard of claims! And this is all before we get to the secret government organization that explores the paranormal which, by the way, has been a trite and predictable idea ever since humanity first constructed governments. Then you add on the whole American Self-Flagellation of "fighting Nazis" and that hackneyed "using evil to combat evil" theme and we're left with an amalgamation of dumb which isn't even justified by the fish person. Oh, yeah. There is a fish person. There's also a girl who catches on fire. Because that's original.

I would like to think that Mike Mignola had at least one original idea in the formulation of Hellboy. But, really, it's just a very obvious story which combines predictable, trite, over-used themes, characters, and stories from American popular culture and re-tells them in a worse way than they were originally told. True, there are a finite number of stories human beings tell which are rehashed over the years. But, usually, the retelling adds something new, which is where Hellboy fails.

If you've seen Beauty and the Beast you know that pretty ladies can fall in love with monsters. If you were educated in an American Public School you know that Nazis are bad. If you've seen the X-Files you've already seen enough secret government organization v. paranormal whatnot to fulfill your lifetime recommended dose. And if you've seen Hellsing then you know that monsters can be used to fight monsters. Fuck, if you've seen pokémon you know that monsters can be used to fight monsters.

If you haven't seen Hellboy don't watch it. And if you're at all interested in any of the themes or characters offered by Hellboy? Don't fucking watch or read Hellboy; go find the original material from which Mike Mignola stole the idea.

Weeble Sneaks Food