Adventures in Twitter Land: Jason Statham is the most awesome person in the world
Someone posted a link to this on twitter. It invovles two wonderful things. Patton Oswalt and Jason Statham
Statham's imdb.com profile, collectively, is a promise to you, the weary filmgoer. It's a promise that says, "I promise that you will not FOR ONE SECOND be bored during one of my movies. You won't learn shit about the human condition, or feel a collective connection with the brotherhood of man. But if you give me $10, I will fuck an explosion while a Slayer song plays".
Please read on.
13 comments:
I'm glad to see someone with at least some level of influence agrees with me about Jason Statham. Especially someone as awesome as Patton Oswalt.
On a side note, if they ever, EVER make the Frost/Nixon film Patton Oswalt describes, I will buy it and watch it every night until the day I die.
frost/nixon was an awesome movie, but a movie in which nixon and statham travel across the countries shootgunning hippies would be awesome-tastic
Some films are cinematic works of art whose lasting appeal is due to the quality of craftsmanship employed in their creation.
Other films are filler flicks which exist to provide mindless peons something to watch on Friday after their unfulfilling workweek ends.
I think what this twitter entry suggests is that if the movie is not to be a cinematic work of art then it needs to star Jason Statham.
I agree with this.
Mostly because were this the case then that one time I had to watch Role Models it would have starred Jason Statham. And he would have punched that sassy black kid through a concrete wall.
And, yes, I am suggesting that Quantum of Solace was a cinematic work of art.
Fuck you.
I dunno.. a film where Daniel Craig and Jason Statham try to out Man each other?
Could be potential there.
"I dunno.. a film where Daniel Craig and Jason Statham try to out Man each other?"
That sounds vaguely homo-erotic.
I love it!
You would. Stop flipping your knife out prematurely.
have you not seen the trailer for Crank 2? Statham Jams a shutgun up a mans ass.
also, Transporter 3 is a love story about a man and his shovel, his shovel which he uses to beat people to death
Do we learn a moral lesson at the end of Transporter 3?
but does he pull the trigger?
I must know!
@jay: no, unless the act of transporting is a metaphor for life and smashing faces with shovels is a metaphor one's unending struggle with people whom need their faces smashed by shovels.
@kyle: yes. always and repeatedly.
Crank 2 trailer
There was a serious lack of trigger pulling after he shoved the shotgun up that dude's ass.
Effective submit! Will you followup on this superb matter?
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