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Glee: Total Eclipse of the Heart

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Glee: Ice Ice, Baby

Will it ever stop?
Yo, I don't know.

Schwarzenegger: Oil be back

So, let's talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hey, did you hear that on Monday Schwarzenegger withdrew his support for the Tranquillon Ridge offshore drilling project? Well, he did! Apparently as recently as Friday he supported the previously mentioned T-Ridge project to drill for oil off California's coast. That is until Monday, when he saw the images from the recent oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

All of you have seen, when you turn on the television, the devastation in the gulf, and I'm sure that they also were assured that it was safe to drill. I see on TV the birds drenched in oil, the fishermen out of work, the massive oil spill and oil slick destroying our precious ecosystem. That will not happen here in California, and this is why I am withdrawing my support for the T-Ridge project.

So, to summarize, Schwarzenegger was entirely keen on the idea of drilling off the coast of California...until Monday...when he saw the images from the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. Which is the point at which we have to ask what the fuck is wrong with this misanthropic Austrian shit.

I'll admit that it has been a while since Exxon Valdez and back in 1989 Schwarzenegger was probably very busy filming Total Recall and Kindergarten Cop. But you would think that he might have noticed that some results of Exxon Valdez were birds drenched in oil, fishermen losing jobs, and the environment being destroyed. Yet, apparently, between March 24, 1989 and April 2nd, 2010, he forgot about Exxon Valdez and thought oil drilling to be the most peachy keen environmental policy to maintain. Then on April 3rd he turns on the tv to declare, "Oh shit! Oil and birds don't mix!" So reversing his policy on the Tranquillon Ridge project.

That's what pisses me off about this story. Schwarzenegger is an idiot, but despite his participation in Jingle All the Way he had to fucking know that there were risks involved in drilling for oil; he was alive for Exxon Valdez and had to know of the impacts drilling has on the environment. But he was entirely comfortable ignoring that until the Gulf of Mexico oil spill last friday provided an immediate example of the problems involved in obtaining and transporting oil. Schwarzenegger did the wrong thing (supported the T-Ridge Project) until public opinion, influenced by this most recent spill, made his support politically detrimental. Schwarzenegger acted not as a human being but rather as a windsock, drifting in the breeze of the political winds.

Drilling for oil is always dangerous, always a negative impact on the environment. But so long as enough time has passed since the last oil spill we're all completely comfortable resting upon our laurels of ignorance until reality shoves oil-soaked sea fowl and petroleum-drenched fish into our immediate consciousness.

You'd think that we could, maybe, pay attention and try to learn something from history instead of having to fuck up another generation of marine life simply because we forgot that it's incredibly fucking stupid to transport crude oil in something that can sink, across something that is treacherous.

So, great, Schwarzenegger stops this one particular attempt to drill for oil of California's coast because, at the moment, it is politically problematic for him to do so. Great. But we know that BP won't be held responsible. No one will learn anything. And in a few years they'll be drilling off the coast of California for oil because, well, they just can't help themselves. We'll forget, another spill will happen, and this moronic cycle will continue until we finally make the planet entirely uninhabitable.

But at least we aren't hurting anyone in the meantime, right?

Simpsons Ke$ha Tik Tok Intro: Stupid

So, I want to claim that there was a time, back in the early 90s, when The Simpsons created popular culture, when The Simpsons was an originary source of novelty from which came not only new jokes, but also new ways of referencing previously existing bits of culture. While The Simpsons is known to reference other bits of popular culture I want to claim that this intro is a qualitatively different sort of thing from that which The Simpsons has previously done.

I can accept that The Simpsons often referenced popular culture. The Greatest Episode of The Simpsons, ever contained a significant number of popular culture references. Moreover, most Treehouse of Horror or other such episodes are Simpson-ized retellings of stories from popular culture. So, The Simpsons has always referenced other things, but the manner in which the references occurred were different. Or, at least, that is what I want to argue.

At the moment I am thinking of the first Treehouse of Horror episode's retelling of The Raven. The structure of the segment is the original text of The Raven, read by James Earl Jones, over which characters from The Simpsons are placed. This is similar to the Tik-Tok intro, wherein the structure is the song over which characters are placed in a music video-esque style.

The difference I would indicate is that The Raven combines an interplay of both the narrative of The Raven and new jokes. For example, Bart's comment "You know what would have been scarier than nothing? ANYTHING!" While the segment is primarily a retelling of The Raven, the poem is interrupted by comments and jokes by the characters. The segment is not only The Raven with characters overlaid, but rather is a mixture of both The Raven and new, novel jokes which comment upon the narrative of The Raven being told.

The difference, I want to say, is that the Tik-Tok intro is simply a Simpsons music video of the Tik-Tok song; the primary component of the video is the unmodified song over which are placed Simpsons characters the actions of which are beholden to the lyrics and style of the song.

While Bart does have two lines during the song, his lines are lyrics already existing within the song. So there is no point at which the song, Tik Tok, is interrupted or commented upon but rather the song is preserved without interruption or comment. So, the intro is nothing more than the song, Tik Tok, over which characters are placed with their actions and lines always beholden to the lyrics of the song.

This intro is not a "reference" but rather is simply the song, Tik Tok, with video of Simpsons characters overlaid. This is no different, in style, than an anime AMV such as:



It could be argued that the novelty is found in how the characters are portrayed with reference to the song. One could argue that creativity can be found in, say, Groundskeeper Willy brushing his teeth with Jack Daniels when the song makes reference to a similar act occuring.

My point would be that what drives the structure of the intro is the song, Tik Tok, and its lyrics. Any references which are made are secondary to the lyrics of the song. There is no point where the song, Tik Tok, is interrupted or commented upon within the Intro. So it does not matter how ideally or adeptly characters are matched to particular lyrics given that the characters are always beholden to the song and its lyrics. If we had to create a heirarchy of power for this intro the fundament would be the song, Tik Tok, and its lyrics over which are placed Simpsons characters. This is not The Simpsons with Ke$ha, but rather is Ke$ha over which are placed characters from The Simpsons.

That's the difference: The Simpsons characters are beholden to the song, Tik Tok, and its lyrics without ever breaking away or enacting moments of novelty whereas in other such references, such as The Raven, the Simpsons characters are capable of breaking away from the referent to comment upon it, or act in a manner contrary to the original structure of that which is being referenced.

Also, Ke$ha is a fucking stupid, talentless amalgamation of Shakira, Lauren Conrad, and Snooki.

Nightcrawler: Death by Arm

Nightcrawler died.



Nightcrawler: Second Coming

In Chapter Five of the X-Men: Second Coming storyline, Rogue and Nightcrawler fight an enhanced version of Bastion. When Bastion tries to kill Hope, Nightcrawler attempts to teleport in front of her, but Bastion detects Nightcrawler's mutant power activating and extends his arm where Nightcrawler appears. Nightcrawler appears with Bastion's arm through him, and is mortally wounded. With Nightcrawler's last breath, he teleports the girl to Utopia, the mutant haven, and tells her that he "believes in her". His actions leave Bastion crippled. Bastion reboots its system shortly after, with a three fingered appearance.

No more BAMF.

People Rent Avatar [chat]

I tried to rent a copy of Avatar today so that I could watch the Rifftrax. The store had approximately 37 dvd cases for it on the shelf but NO ACTUAL COPIES IN STOCK. So, apparently Avatar is something people want to rent.