Pokemones! I choose you!

Usually my rants come into being as a result of something pissing me off. Today, though, my rant comes from this article which left me sitting in my chair blinking for the better part of ten minutes:

"The teens call their public orgies 'ponceo'. On a typical Friday afternoon in the Chilean capital of Santiago, hundreds gather in a leafy urban park for a few hours of sexual experimentation."

Yeah.

"They trade partners multiple times—mostly engaging in anonymous rounds of oral sex. When the party is over, no contact information is exchanged. Same-gender interactions are commonplace, as the lines between hetero- and homosexuality are blurred, partly by the alcohol and drugs consumed, but also by shifting social mores held by Chilean youth, in contrast to their conservative parents. "Ponceo is about having fun," says Natalia Fernandez, a 15-year-old with pink hair and a pierced chin. "This time I had seven partners.""

Initially I was worried that Pokemones were somehow attempting to support an idiotic ideology or political position; that their hours of anonymous oral sex were somehow meant to convey a message. But apparently "pokemones do not have a political creed, preferring apathy to engagement."

So, to summarize, Pokemones are apathetic, drug consuming, Chilean, anime watching, teenage boys and girls who on Friday afternoons gather together in public parks to consume drugs, alcohol, and participate in hours of anonymous oral sex.

Again, I'm just sitting here blinking a lot.

The most obvious criticism of Pokemones involves the notion of STDs; hours of anonymous oral sex is probably not the best way to avoid exposure to STDs. Additionally one can invoke a morality argument so stating that one ought to not engaged in hours of random, anonymous oral sex in public parks. Drug use and alcoholism among teenagers is, again, a criticism one might belabor with regard to Pokemones.

But speaking as someone who has avoided drugs, STDs, and anonymous oral sex for my entire life I have to say that, really, avoiding these things has not benefited me one god damned bit. Sure, there are "benefits" in the Ned Flandersian sense of the word: I've never impregnated anyone, I'm not addicted to any substances, I don't have any STDs, and the 25 year old version of myself is employed, safe, and soon to be a grad student. But, conversely, the teenage version of myself never had hours of anonymous oral sex with a bunch of apathetic south american anime fangirls.

So weighing the consequences of my past actions against those of the Pokemones I have to say that on this one I'm going to side with the Pokemones. Prudish, healthy, sensible living may contribute to one's longevity and success in the traditional sense of the word. But it's also boring as shit.

And, sure, maybe the lifestyle of the Pokemones will not lead to the highest level of happiness in their futures. Maybe their substance addiction, STDs, and inevitable sense of loneliness and loss will somehow outweight the present thrills they experience. Maybe hedonism is not the most sensible or reasonble position to maintain.

But the grass is always greener on the side of the fence with blowjobs.

*Update*
According to some Kotaku reader:

There's have to be some kind of misunderstanding, I'm from Chile (not a pokemon) and I have to say "ponceo" had nothing to do with oral sex. What they do in this parties (thursay or fryday, between 4-5PM to 10-11PM, they are all minorage so they cant be out to late at night, alcohol sell is not allowed) is try to kiss in the mouth (not oral sex, that was a particual case, not even pokemoes involved, only 3 highschool students, 14 or 15 years old) as much different people (of the opposite sex) as they can durring the party.

So either Newsweek is incorrect or this person who posts on Kotaku is incorrect.