Saturday, May 2, 2009

Drunk to the point of death: A Reflection

I am writing this so that I remember it in the morning.

This evening I had my first experience of "Drunk to the point of death". I had a Guiness and 2 gin and tonics at home. Then friends came over and we headed to the bar whereat I consumed (according to reports) 4 more gin and tonics. What follows is an epic tale of "I will never drink this much again".

So, apparently, it started with someone mentioning X-Men Origins: Wolversuck. I was on gin and tonic #4 at this point. People started talking about the movie and things they had heard and I, drunkenly, started ranting about how the movie destroyed the lore of Deadpool for, according to reports, at least 10 minutes. I ranted about teleportation and claws and mutant healing factor and a grand wealth of other points of interest.

The next thing I remember is a bouncer, whose face I do not remember, coming up to me and saying "Man, you need to go." I apparently rejected his claims and in the end I pseudo passed out and bouncer and my friend pulled me up the stairs. I remember parts of the "walk" back to my apartment, most of which incorporated me telling my friend "They can't do that to deadpool, man". My friend was telling me to not die from alcohol poisoning and I was, according to reports, ranting about how they fucked up Deadpool.

Upon returning to my apartment (around midnight) I told my friend that I was fine and that he could go. He did not go. He ended up staying until around 3:30 in the morning as I engaged in a sequence of vomit into the toilet, rant about Deadpool, pass out, for about 3 hours. Upon emptying my stomach of any alcohol I awakened to a semi-conscious state to find my friend still here and, well, various aspects of my person covered in puke. I then took a shower and returned to the realm of the living.

This has taught me two things:
1) I need to never get that drunk again.
2) Drunk _J_ cares very deeply about X-Men canon.

My friend told sober _J_ that while I was passed out / asleep between bursts of vomiting he looked up "alcohol poisoning" on his iPhone and found that I exhibited many of the symptoms. Blue skin, inability to engage in convesation, ranting about X-men canon, etc. He was quite worried. I was quite nigh-dead for a while there.

Prior to my "drunk to the point of death" state the person who I asked to be my Master's Thesis advisor and myself engaged in a conversation, briefly, about my proposed topic. That is cool. What is not cool is that he was there for the "_J_ really cares about Deadpool" rant. My understanding is that he missed the "_J_ is carried up the stairs by a bouncer and a friend" segment of the evening. This provides me with a wealth of comfort.

I shall add more in the comments if I remember more in the morning. However, know that getting drunk to the point of death is not fun. Also, know that X-men origins fucked the fuck out of Deadpool and I, apparently, find this to be a point of great concern.

10 comments:

_J_ said...

Bleck.

MA17 said...

Bleck indeed.

_J_ said...

Thinking back? It's entirely possible that I died and came back to life.

Or my life just started this morning with an incredibly wealth of false memories having been implanted.

Reflecting upon an evening I do not fully remember is quite odd.

Caleb said...

Does this mean that you've become J the White? Or, that you now obey only your zombie master?

Andrew said...

my guess is that its the zombie master thing, cause J couldnt get any whiter.

_J_ said...

Probably zombie master. I could not have come back to life by my own powers. SO it would have to be some sort of external source.

Though, Gandalf came back as a result of the Tolkien gods rather than his own power...so...hmm

I think going off of Andrew's comment it would have to be the case that I am now _J_ the Grey as, per Andrew's observation, I was previously _J_ the White.

MA17 said...

Wait a second. You drink beer now?

_J_ said...

Guiness.

Unknown said...

You, sir, are my hero. My new goal in life is to be kicked out of a bar for trying to get into fights about Marvel canon.

_J_ said...

It would have been better for me to have remembered it. Most of these reports come to me from other people who were there.