Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Batman Wedding Theme: Reasons in Favor

Anyone can argue in favor of a Batman wedding theme; there is no difficulty to be had in saying "your wedding needs to be Batman themed". But it takes a true genius to create an arbitrarily long list of reasons for why a Batman theme is the best wedding theme. So, in no particular order:

Reasons why "Batman" is the best Wedding Theme:

- Everyone wants to see their wife dressed as Poison Ivy at least once in the marriage; so why not start the marriage with a wife dressed as Poison Ivy?

- There is no greater symbolism of unity than emerging together from a Lazarus Pit.

- A Harley Quinn flower girl walking with a Robin ring bearer would be god-damned adorable.

- Provides an opportunity to say "Let's race to the honeymoon suite!" without sounding like a creep.

- Once the minister is dressed as Ra's al Ghul he'll be forced to call the groom "detective" throughout the duration of the ceremony.

- Bridesmaids + Catgirl outfits. QED

- If you really treasured the friendship of your best man you'd let him dress as Nightwing.

- The Bride's father will, undoubtedly, hate the groom on sheer principle. So, if you let the bride's father dress as the Joker he can at least hate in character.

- Releasing a flock of bats is simply more romantic than a flock of doves, and it helps control the mosquito population.

- When the bride changes her mind halfway through and runs out the best man can exclaim, "Tune in tomorrow - same Bat-time, same Bat-chapel" and it will all seem like part of the plan.

- If while consummating the marriage you yell out "Biff, Pow, SHAAZOOOOOM" you can argue that you were simply "enacting the theme".

- Finally affords you a legitimate reason for learning the Batusi; could there be a more perfect first dance as a married couple?

- Limousines are stupid. Batmobiles are awesome.

- Allows for creative reformulation of the wedding vows: "Riddle me this. Riddle me that. Do you take as your lawfully wedded husband, The Bat?"

- Dude, Bridesmaids in CATGIRL OUTFITS!

38 comments:

_J_ said...

I'm quite proud of the Riddler one.

MA17 said...

I think they are husbands who are wedded lawfully, not loftily. At least not explicitly.

Batman weddings assume lofty vows.

Roscoe said...

All of that. ALL of it. and not one ref for Alfred or Commissoner Gordon? Let alone the fact that they allready have an Ace the Bat-Hume?

I'll give you the Ra's lines though. Those are good.

MA17 said...

Plus, if you're low on guests, and an Alice in Wonderland themed wedding is taking place nearby, you can steal a few of their guests.

In retrospect, this will probably seem like a poor decision, however.

_J_ said...

There is a surprisingly high degree of crossover between Batman and Alice in Wonderland.

Batman weddings have hella-lofty vows.

Roscoe said...

psh. Those vows are made in the Bat-cave, not in front of the assembled League.

Roscoe said...

In other words, they're not FOR US.

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