Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Pokemon X/Y : It's like Path of Exile, but most of them aren't rocks

You guys, there's a new Pokemon game, and it's a lot like the other Pokemon games, but this one is just basically fucking full of polygons.  At one point while playing, you'll probably take a look at Pikachu, expecting to see some variation of the sprite that has become so familiar your brain has actually grown around it over time, like a tree slowly enveloping a nearby fence post.

But there's no sprite!  Your brain tree recoils, decades of growth undone, then registers the fact that there's a three dimensional model of Pikachu, and when he opens his mouth, a GameBoy-era digital screech does not come out, but a voice sample from the anime.  It is so startlingly revolutionary that I fear I err on the side of understatement when I say that the moment has not and never will be surpassed, even if we were to one day land on the moon.

Otherwise, the game is pretty standard.  I like a lot of the new Pokemon, I like that I'm only using birds as much as possible, and I like that you can farm the everloving shit out of berries in a dedicated berry farm, and not some ridiculous network of overlooked parcels of land spread out over an entire country.  I also like that the experience share device is given to you pretty early, and applies to all Pokemon in your party.  I sort of like the mini-games that let you dick around with your party and raise their musical note stat, and that they finally moved EV training to the forefront and made a game out of it.  I like that you can change your trainer's appearance, I like that the roller skates that make travel a lot quicker, I like that you can run inside buildings, and I like that these mundane things are the most notable improvements they've made to the series since I last checked in at Pearl.

Well, ok, they've also improved the internet stuff, which works a lot better.  You can trade and battle and talk to people locally or over the tubes far easier than I would have ever expected Nintendo to allow.  Even if you're not in a Pokemon Center, upstairs standing around in front of a desk like an idiot, you can initiate a trade.  Even if you haven't entered in your system friend code, your game friend code, and/or scanned your Club Nintendo card in your e-Reader, you can connect to other players.  It's pretty great.

On the whole, I give Pokemon X/Y five Eevee armies out of a possible Bidoof Cyclone


_J_ said...

Can I internet trade by searching for people who want my level 16 female Bidoof?

Or, must I trade by finding the Jigglypuff I want, and hoping the person who posted said Jigglypuff wants a level 16 female Bidoof?

_J_ said...

While I have heard good things about this Pokemon game, and do what I play it, I fear that I cannot both play Path of Exile, Animal Crossing, Pokemon, and be a grad student.

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