Thursday, March 20, 2008

Fuck Florida and Michigan

This whole Florida / Michigan do-over rant has been simmering on my back burner of hate for a while now. Even though I can't tell whether or not the thing is undercooked, done or terribly burnt the coverage of this topic seems to have peaked last night so I'm just going to toss the rant out and hope that whatever its developmental state it is palatable.

There is no correct position to maintain on this debate; they're all wrong. It is in no way sensible to remove Florida and Michigan from the process of electing a candidate. It is also, however, not sensible to allow Florida and Michigan to participate in the process after they broke the rules. And while we can bicker about the nature of democracy and the validity or sensibility of the rules by which we pick candidates we are where we are. And when the "spirit of democracy" and "the rules by which democracy occurs" conflict we, this time, err on the side of the rules.

And I'm ok with that. There are plenty of arbitrary rules utilized in maintaining the functionality of the electoral process. Certainly if we focus on any given rule we can find its flaws and argue it to be undemocratic. But when we look at the whole system of rules, the entire structure, it mostly functions. So we stick with it.

What pisses me the fuck off about this particular debate is how delusional asshats grasp onto their favorite candidate's position and vehemently denounce the position of the other; how political fanboys and fangirls ignore the nuance and maintain that their candidate is correct. When, really? Neither is right.

Clinton: Clinton is currently losing and so desires to allow Florida and Michigan to vote so that she has the chance to decrease Obama's lead.
Obama: Obama is currently winning and so does not desire to allow Florida and Michigan to vote so as to limit the possibilities for Clinton to overtake him.

THEY'RE BOTH BEING SELFISH!

Alright?

Since the issue itself is fundamentally fucked both candidates, I think, are justified in their selfish stance on this. Clinton can argue for the spirit of democracy while Obama argues for the rules. Each argument is reasonable and rhetorically compelling in its own right. Each argument is based in a candidate's selfish desire to win. Neither Obama nor Clinton is RIGHT; there is no right in this debate. Both candidates are equally selfish, correct, and incorrect. Moreover, both candidates are being inconsistent.

If Clinton argues for the spirit of democracy with regard to Florida and Michigan do-over primaries then Clinton ought also to embrace the spirit of democracy with regard to super delegates. Is it consistent with the spirit of democracy to argue that the super delegates vote for her if Obama has more delegates and wins the popular vote?

If Obama argues for the rules with regard to Florida and Michigan do-over primaries then Obama ought also to embrace the rules with regard to super delegates. Is it consistent with the rules to argue that the super delegates ought to not vote for Clinton if he has more delegates and wins the popular vote?

This issue is a gigantic fucked up mess which is fundamentally flawed and undoubtedly problematic. It brings out the worst in everyone and makes evident the self-serving tendencies of both candidates and their supporters.

So how about instead of being jackasses who rally behind their favorite candidate despite the valid position of the other we all join together and shout with one unified, certain, justified voice:

FUCK FLORIDA AND MICHIGAN!

And then we kick them out of the damned union. Cause we sure as shit don't need either of them if they can't read a fucking calendar.

2 comments:

Caleb said...

It flows with a nice symmetry and ends with a flourish. I don't think that you need to apologize for it before you begin.

_J_ said...

Thank you.

When I started I didn't know how it would turn out.

Turned out alright.