Saturday, May 24, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of [chat]

No Ticket.

49 comments:

Caleb said...

*Flings Nazi from zepplin*

"No ticket."

Caleb said...

zeppelin -- gods damn.

Mike Lewis said...

*flings ben affleck from train*

"No Ticket"

Unknown said...

*flings demonic hockey kid from subway*


"No ticket"

_J_ said...

*Flings Demonology Warlocks from WoW*

*No Ticket*

Roscoe said...

I'm amused.

_J_ said...

*Flings Locke from Philosophical acknowledgement*

*No Ticket*

_J_ said...

When you drive from Indiana to Illinois and cross the state line you see a sign that says "Illinois: The Land of Lincolm".

When you cross the line coming the other way you see a sign saying "Indiana: The Crossroads of america"

and under the big billboard there is a smaller sign which says "The childhood home of Lincoln"

Because people in Indiana are fucking assholes.

Andrew said...

also, Lincoln was an asshole.
and born in Kentucky

_J_ said...

If Illinois' primary focus is going to be on Liincoln having lived there then it just seems dickish for Indiana to get that "lincolm lived her as a boy" jab in.

It would be like Illinois adding "The real crossroads" under their sign.

Unknown said...

I would just like to note that having 3 months off of work and not getting out of bed until I wanted to has made these first few mornings at work rough.

_J_ said...

I would just like to note that work fucking sucks.

Monday night I was in a bar in Carbondale talking about Post Modernism with 8 Ph. D Philosophy students.

Right now I'm working on creating excel documents reflective of UPS / Fed Ex shipping rates.

_J_ said...

@Mikey

How many classes did you take per semester?

_J_ said...

Kenya mob reportedly burns 11 'witches'

Now that's a culture we need to preserve. Seriously. Witch identification is a rare skill.

Mike Lewis said...

How many classes did you take per semester?

I had to take 12 hours each term to maintain my assistantship.

Mike Lewis said...

the number of classes to was different each semester because classes were 3 hours and some where 6. Thesis hours and pedagogy classes means less seminars.

_J_ said...

I'm taking 3 classes which are 3 hours each and this is normal. I was expecting to take four or five classes so it was something of a nice surprise.

The next project is to try and find an assistanceship in a department somewhere.

Roscoe said...

Witch Identification is all about the naughty rubbing.

_J_ said...

And the duck weighing.

Unknown said...

Yeah it is normal for a grad student to take anywhere between 6 and 12 credit hours as opposed to an undergrad taking 15-20. Because grad school is so much "harder." I think it is a scam myself :)

Mike Lewis said...

I think it is a scam myself :)

I know so much about 1670s french post structural philosophy, torture and postmodern economic theory, you have no idea.

Resistance is not Revolution!

_J_ said...

"I think it is a scam myself"

Of course it is a scam. But how can I be a degree waving asshole unless I continually amass degrees?

HMM?

I can only wave around a Bachelor's Degree for so long. Now, a Master's? A Ph. D?

Those provide for some quality waving.

That and I'm right. And the more degrees I have the righter I become.

_J_ said...

Jewsonfirst.org

Makes me laugh.

Roscoe said...

Indiana Jones is something for everyone. It's utterly enjoyable, and I felt no need to shout LABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF!


And yet, if one were inclined, there is SO MUCH wonderful camp in the movie that it could single handedly provide a year's worth of bitching supplies.

I was more than pleased.

_J_ said...

"and I felt no need to shout LABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF!"

The path to the dark side, that is.

Mike Lewis said...

i agree with Jay

Ros is full of lies. Lies and Mistrusts.

(i will wait until the film is in the local 2nd run)

Roscoe said...

not a bad plan.

But it delivers. Mostly because it is Spielberg.

Unknown said...

spielberg does no how not to fail.

_J_ said...

WOTLK Alpha Info

Mike Lewis said...

spielberg does no how not to fail.

errr...
are you sure?

Roscoe said...

Those were Spielberg's attempts at failing.

Even they did not fail. At least according to press.


I counter with Animaniacs and Freakazoid.

Defense rests it's case.

Unknown said...

I actually quite liked AI and the Terminal. I haven't seen War of the Worlds however.

Caleb said...

I made the mistake of purchasing a package of York Peppermint Patties and now I can only eat them all.

_J_ said...

AI fucking sucked. And not "subjectively" and not "as a matter of opinion". The movie was terrible.

And I'm not even invoking the universal rule that the movie contained Haley Joel Osmet ergo it sucks, quod erat demonstrandum. The movie had TWO ENDINGS! It ended TWICE! The movie ends. We're all releaved that we get to fucking leave, and then the damn thing KEEPS GOING until it ends a SECOND TIME!

And in case you FORGOT this is the second ending:

2,000 years later, Manhattan is buried under several hundred feet of glacial ice, and humans are extinct. Mechas have evolved into an alien-looking humanoid form. In the process of excavating New York City from the ice, they find David and Teddy: functional mechas who knew living humans. David wakes up and walks to the frozen statue of the fairy, which cracks and collapses as he touches it.

Using David’s memories, the mechas reconstruct the Swinton home, and explain to him via a mecha of the Blue Fairy (voiced by Meryl Streep) that he cannot become human. However, they can manipulate spacetime to resurrect Monica via a lock of her hair (faithfully saved by Teddy), but she will live for only one day and the process cannot be repeated. David spends one day alone with Monica, painting, and playing. At the end of the day, Monica tells David that she loves him and has always loved him, then drifts to sleep for the final time, David lying beside her. He closes his eyes and goes "to that place where dreams are born".


Yeah. FUCK that noise.

_J_ said...

Shark v Crocodile

Roscoe said...

Like... a box?

becuase.. otherwise the holy York comes one to a package.

Roscoe said...

Yes, but see, that was Spielberg ATTEMPTING to fail.

And he succeeded in it! While still making money!

He knew to seek out the damned Akiva Goldsman.

_J_ said...

"otherwise the holy York comes one to a package."

One can buy bags of smaller York Peppermint Patties. I think they are called "bite size" but in my experience the larger ones are still quite bite size.

While I usually consume the smaller ones I prefer the bigger ones. They're more fulfilling.

Feel free to quote that last section out of context.

@"that was Spielberg ATTEMPTING to fail."

Sometimes I wonder how much it must suck to suck as much as you suck.

When it comes to attempting to fail? No one beats Uwe Boll's Postal:
"The film opened in limited release in the United States on May 23, 2008, playing in 4 theaters."

Not even Spielberg could pull that off.

Also, I miss Animaniacs.

Mike Lewis said...

anyone need a new harddrive?

_J_ said...

That is tempting.

I kind of want to build a new system for Grad School...but...money.

Mike Lewis said...

A strange turn of events.

I think this might have a negitive impact on Yatzee's persona as an outsider and Troll.

_J_ said...

Posted that in the painkiller post. I like it. And if painkiller sales increase as a result of this then that is delightful.

_J_ said...

So when I was down at the Grad School I talked to a professor for a little over an hour about classes and whanot. During our discussion I brought up financial aid and he said that they didn't have much but he'd try to find something for me.

I received an e-mail when I got home from him. He found an assistantship for me. Which means that I have a job, I have a job in the philosophy department, and I don't have to pay tuition.

As Mikey said, "Everything's coming up Milhouse!"

And it's FUCKING awesome because I'm a first semester Master's Student...and in my understanding we don't get assistantships.

And while this job will probably translate over to being someone bitch...I'm entirely ok with that. Because I don't have to pay tuition.

Everything's coming up milhouse!

Roscoe said...

Those aren't York Peppermint Patties. Those are Minis.

I will cut the man who proclaims otherwise. The holy Patty is full and delicious. And gives its name to her precocious lesbianness of Peanuts Fame.

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