Because some people don't have maps.

The Text:
“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

When asked to explain herself on the Today show Caitlin Upton said, "Everything did come at me at once". I am still unclear as to how that shocked her. Surely she's experienced that before.

Also, "She has said that she entered the Miss Teen USA pageant in part to improve her communication skills. " This is truly the gift that keeps on giving.

Why the FUCK don't we go to PAX?

Wil Wheaton's Keynote Address for PAX 2007.

"My name is Wil Wheaton. Jack Thompson can suck my balls."

Now, that's a fucking thesis.

"His Good Name"

After Alberto Gonzales announced his resignation, President Bush told some reporters that, “His good name was dragged through the mud for political reasons".

Alright, let's clear up a few things before that cocaine snorting President of ours tries to muddy up the water and the 24-hour news networks unload their stupid on this story. Alberto Gonzales didn't have a good name. He wasn't a good guy. He wasn't a martyr suffering for his holy crusade of nobility. He was a shitstain on the history of the United States and the sooner he gets the fuck out of Washington the better.

January 25, 2002: Gonzales advised President Bush that, "the war on terrorism is a new kind of war, a new paradigm [that] renders obsolete Geneva's strict limitation on questioning of enemy prisoners and renders some of its provisions quaint."

That's a lawyer talking. A lawyer saying that the Geneva conventions, the means by which it is assured that enemy combatants are treated humanely, no longer apply to the United States because the war on terrorism is a "new kind of war". Do you see the problem there? Here's the biggest problem:

LAWS DON'T FUCKING WORK THAT WAY!!!

It's not the case that one can simply dismiss a law or a treaty because they feel it no longer applies to them. But that's the precident he set. "I don't think this applies to the United States anymore, therefore etc." And from that point on we saw this man's respect for the Rule of Law, the Constitution, and the established governmental structure of the United States. He didn't fucking care about them or respect them. He was an asshole; an asshole who fundamentally misunderstood his job and the nature of the United States of America. An asshole who thought he could do whatever he wanted and get away with it. An asshole who worked with Karl Rove to give President Bush and Vice President Cheney as much clearance as possible as they skipped through our government in an effort to fight their stupid fucking war of lies, deceit, and ignorance.

So don't even try to play the "it's politics" card again you delusional, ignorant, dolt of a president. Alberto Gonzales was not a "good man". Alberto Gonzales was a liar and a crook. And if the United States can unmake the wrongs he set forth, fix the government he and yourself wrecked, and right the wrongs of your idiotic amalgamation of C-grade students who know neither history nor geography then so much the better for the rest of us and, hopefully, so much the worse for you.

Submitted without comment.

The history of Liver-Eating Johnson

appendiceal lumen

8:29:40 PM jayhaxor: So your appendiceal lumen was full of shit?
8:29:54 PM thesupermikey: err
8:29:55 PM thesupermikey: was
8:30:00 PM thesupermikey: i don't have one anymore
8:30:03 PM thesupermikey: they took it out
8:30:17 PM jayhaxor: Do you feel like less of a person?
8:30:22 PM thesupermikey: nope
8:30:31 PM thesupermikey: i am just sore
8:30:41 PM jayhaxor: tragic
8:30:45 PM jayhaxor: but you get to be home for a week
8:30:48 PM thesupermikey: yeah
8:31:02 PM jayhaxor: But now you don't have a appendiceal lumen.
8:31:10 PM jayhaxor: It's a tough loss.
8:31:10 PM thesupermikey: i do not
8:31:14 PM thesupermikey: ill live
8:31:19 PM thesupermikey: it killed some people
8:31:19 PM jayhaxor: Hopefully.
8:31:25 PM jayhaxor: It went down fighting
8:31:25 PM thesupermikey: i think i got out ok
8:31:29 PM thesupermikey: it had to
8:31:43 PM thesupermikey: it was going to spend its years in a prison cell
8:31:47 PM thesupermikey: suicide by police
8:31:56 PM jayhaxor: Or a jar of fermaldehide
8:32:02 PM thesupermikey: same thing
8:32:05 PM jayhaxor: True.
8:32:15 PM jayhaxor: According to wikipedia you don't eat enough fibre
8:32:19 PM thesupermikey: only fermaldehide smells better

My Appendix can suck it

So when i got home from teaching on Thrusday Night i had a realy awful stomach ache. I tried Mailox and all the other normal stuff but nothing seemed to work. When i woke up, my Stomach was still very much mad at me.

I got a friend to take me to the doctor in the late morning. After some poking they took me to the Hospital for a CAT scan.

That showed that, in fact, my Appendix was about to explode, so in a harrowing feat of surgery the surgan was able to cut it own in the nick of time. I am told, but have not confirmed, as they were transferring my evil organ out of the operating room it broke free of its restrained and killed a nurse and Janitor. Poor Janitor. I hate Scrubs soo much.

I am back i warsaw for a week because i cant drive or walk to well.

so. Fuck Appendixes they fucking suck.

'Blasphemous' balls anger Afghans (not the rugs)

Well, we pissed off the brown people again.

A demonstration has been held in south- east Afghanistan accusing US troops of insulting Islam after they distributed footballs bearing the name of Allah.

The balls showed the Saudi Arabian flag which features the Koranic declaration of faith.

Afghan MP Mirwais Yasini said: "To have a verse of the Koran on something you kick with your foot would be an insult in any Muslim country around the world."