Stolen from elsewhere on This Vast Tubery

Happy Birthday, Adolf Hitler!

One hundred twenty-two years ago
A tiny gift of joy
Was born to unto the Hitlers
As a precious baby boy

With itsy-bitsy fingers
And wiggly little toes
A Charlie Chaplin moustache
Beneath his button nose

The twinkle of his parent’s eyes
They’d never be apart
From this tiny gift of heaven
The Fuhrer of their hearts

A promise of potential
Giggling at peekaboo
A gift of love and treasure
And the downfall of the jews.

Santorum: Making America America, not not-America

"Fighting to make America America again."

America is not America. So, America must be made into America, again, in order that America will be America rather than America. For if America continues to be America, rather than America, then America cannot be America, since it is only America.

Presumably, Santorum thinks that since we need to make America America, it cannot be the case that America is America, since America is not America. What he ought to have written is, "to make not-America America again." So that means that he wants to make not-America America.

But how can not-America be America? Either America is America, or not-America is not-America. America cannot be not-America, just as not-America cannot be America. So, how could not-America ever be America?

The only way to make not-America America is for not-America to be America, and so not-not-America. But is not-not-America the same as America? Would not America and not-not-America be two different Americas? Yet if not-not-America is, in fact, America, then is not not-America only one not from being America? Or, said another way, America is only one not from being not-America, which would be not-not-America, and, so, America.

America is not America. Rather, America is America, which is not-America. We must return America to a state of being America. For if America is not-America, how can we be Americans?

Yet, interestingly, Santorum is an American. But since America is not America, Santorum must be a not-American, unless Santorum is an American, since he is from America, but from America, not not-America. For if Santorum was from not-America, he would be a not-American. That is, of course, unless one can be American without being from America, since none can be from America, since America is not America. Yet how could one be from America, if we must make America America, since America is not-America? If there exists persons from America, and not not-America, then would there not, necessarily, have to be an America from which Americans are from? It seems obvious that if there are Americans, there must be an America; the problem is that America is not America, since America is not-America.

I hope it is obvious to you, now, that Santorum is right: Americans must make America America again. Yet, of course, not-Americans cannot make not-America America; only Americans can make America America. But how are we to tell American from not-American? How do we know if one is from America or America?

Well, as Dr. Seuss wrote:

Now, the Star-Bell Sneetches had bellies with stars. The Plain-Belly Sneetches had none upon thars.

Obviously, then, both Americans and not-Americans must check their bellies to discern who is from America and who is not from America, since they are from not-America, which some take to be America, despite the fact that Santorum is most strongly convinced that it is not. For this reason, we must make America America, again.

Sunday [chat]

How did it take 4 weeks for a Christian parody version happen? The nut-bar youth groupers took way to long to get there shit together.

Someone Else Thinks Trig is not Sarah Palin's Child

And it is not some asshole on the internet. Way back in 2008, I wrote a blog post outlining why Trig is not her baby.

The story disappeared because:
1) The McCain Campaign announced that Bristle was pregnant and that family was off the table
2) The demicrates were to spinless to fight brither bullshit with a real story.

Now Professor Bradford Scharlott of Northern Kentucky University has published an academic article about the story and the media's lack of giving-a shit. From Gawker:

And Scharlott concludes that, given that this hoax would be a massive fraud perpetrated on the entire country by a vice-presidential candidate, the media absolutely should have pursued the story more aggressively.

You can read the full text of "Palin, the Press, and the Fake Pregnancy Rumor:Did a Spiral of Silence Shut Down the Story?" on Scribd.

Santorum Presidential Exploratory Committee

Those of you who remain unconvinced that 2012 shall be a veritable hootenanny may be interested to learn that a S.P.E.C. has been formed.

Here’s to hoping that the Republican Primaries are shot-full with a frothy surge of santorum.

Whywolves

Spirits possessed by the spirit of inquiry AND BLOODLUST!!