[chat] of the Lich King

I think Obama might just replace Bartlett

...as MY President.

Olympic Pole Dancing: It's a Penis, You Know

Utah studio wants pole dancing in Olympics

So, apparently, there is a movement to make Pole Dancing an Olympic sport:
"This takes grace, fluidity and strength. It's on par with ice skating and everything else in the Olympics," said Lorinda Coombs, co-owner of Studio Soiree. Said Lizz Schofield, the owner of a Pole Dancing Studio, "it's not stripping at all." The article in question also has quotes from a mother of four who engaged in pole dancing "for the workout".

Yeah. Um... You see...

The pole is a cock.

Yeah.

And, you know, I hate to be the guy to break that to you; I hate to "go all Freudian on you". But you're dancing with a cock. Granted, it is a cock which extends from the floor to the ceiling (much like my own) but it's still a big, rigid, metal cock. And you're doing this in a room full of other women who are, you know, all dancing with erect metal cocks.

And I'm not trying to dissuade you from your cock dancing; I think it is terrific. And I'm not even going to dissuade you from attempting to make metal-cock dancing an Olympic sport. I think your enterprise is fucking (to pardon the pun) hilarious.

But I just thought you should know that "pole dancing" is, in fact "metal, rigid, erect, cock dancing".

And that's not even a subjective interpretation which fails to grasp the deep, penetrating history of pole dancing which has climaxed into its current popularity. It's actually an accurate statement of fact: You're dancing with a big metal cock. So, you know, have fun with that.

And also?" This takes grace, fluidity and strength"? You know what else takes grace, fluidity, and strength? Fucking. Fucking requires all of those things.

So you might want to modify your argument a bit unless you want to be indirectly arguing for Olympic fucking. I don't think you should modify your argument at all to be perfectly honest. Hell, I'd probably watch the Olympics if fucking were a competition. Especially if it were the winter Olympics.

But, yeah, you're dancing with an erect metal cock.

Just FYI.

Ozzy Warcraft Commercial

What's your fucking game?

The American AKIRA

Submitted for consideration and reflection

George W. Bush G20 Hand Shaking

You know, I dislike George W. Bush. I disagree with him on pretty much everything and think that, as a human being, he fails on more than one level.

But it's one thing to attack a person's positions. It's one thing to critique a person's job performance. It's one thing to critique a person's lifestyle. It's one thing to objectively assess an individual's intelligence. It's one thing to dismantle one's ideologies via logic, rational thought, and empiricism.

But making fun of a guy for not being popular with world leaders? Mocking a guy for his social status? Saying that the President of the United States is like "the guy with cooties"?

That's pretty god damned low. It's like a new degree of juvenile.

I'll call George W. Bush a cocaine addicted dolt whose lack of intelligence is matched only by his inability to clearlly articulate a thought. But I'm not going to make fun of him for not getting a handshake at a gathering of world leaders.

That's just mean.