Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Be a better Ignorant Racist.

A note from mikey: There are five parts. The first one can be found here

Mikey sent me a link to a youtube video about Prussian Blue, a "white nationalist folk teen duo" composed of two hot teenage Nazis. The five ten minute segments show the girls and their family interracting, performing, going about their daily lives, and making some of the characteristic mistakes ignorant racists make. So, in an effort to help out these two hot Nazis, I present...

Be A Better Ignorant Racist in 9 Easy Steps!

1. If you aren't Aryan don't talk about Aryan dominance. I can't stress this enough. If you endorse the agenda of Aryan dominance and don't have blonde hair and blue eyes you ought to at least be willing to dye your hair and wear colored contact lenses. The problem is that if anyone finds out that you dyed your hair and wear colored contact lenses you're going to suffer some media fallout. So, if you aren't Aryan, it's best to just leave "Aryan Dominance" out of your rhetoric.

2. Get the broken down trucks and tractors out of your yard. A well-manicured lawn can provide a wonderful backdrop to your polished rhetoric. Nobody is going to take you seriously if you talk about "cleansing the races" if you can't even cleanse your lawn.

3. Stay on message! During interviews, radio shows, television spots, or any public appearance you need to ensure that you and everyone else on your side stay on message! A cohesive presentation of family and group is vital to enhancing your rhetoric. If an elderly member of your family says, "I'm sick of all this Nazi shit." during an interview you've lost the "family first" audience. Nobody wants to adopt an ideology that tears a family apart!

4. Fabricate your Facts carefully! If you want to give examples of lesser races destroying society you need to craft realistic facts that seem true. Of course you must play to the fears of your audience, but you can also broaden your message by keeping your fudged facts realistic. If you use a broad brush to paint an entire race of people you risk that there may be some in that group who are known to your audience who go against your stereotype. If you fabricate lesser, more specific faults on specific members of a race then you can allow your listener, on their own, to create their own stereotypes from your specific examples.

5. Keep a civil tongue! Anyone can spew hate and vulgarity at the same time. A polished ignorant racist with a civil tongue will appeal to a broader audience.

6. Dress Professionally. Selling your ideology is also an attept at selling yourself. Don't wear your hog sloppin' clothing to a rally or an interview. Invest in a few professional outfits so that you can present a clean, professional, business face for your ignorant racisim.

7. Sex sells! Don't be afraid to bring a little sex into your presentation. Give your audience someone pretty to look at while you fill their mind with ignorant racism. Nobody wants to stare at a disheveled old man advocating an ideology of hate!

8. For God's Sake don't kill people or animals in public! You don't have to actually lynch someone to show that you would lynch someone. Keep the more violent "oogie" aspects of your ideology reserved for your hard-core audience. If you lynch someone in a town square in broad daylight people will think you're crazy, not a refined ignorant racist.

9. Play down the anti-semitism. Blaming the Jews is so 1930s. Besides, if you are advocating the ideology of the ignorant racist people will assume that you hate Jews. You don't have to say it. In the year 2007 there are far more groups upon which you can focus your hate. Pick a new group upon which you can focus and the jews and the blacks will be assumed into your ideology by the audience.

Hopefully these tips will help those delightful hot Nazis of Prussian Blue. I promise that if you follow these 9 easy steps and you'll be collecting followers faster than a Jew collects taxes!

5 comments:

Roscoe said...

damnit.. I need to post here.. becuase I have a year and a half of Prussian Blue Hate saved up AND they're being pastiche'd in X-Factor right now..

but I gotta go into town.

_J_ said...

How can you hate Prussian Blue?

Kylebrown said...

This goes to the top of my best post ever list!

_J_ said...

:)

Roscoe said...

.. Doesn't everyone like looking at Disheveled Phelps Clan Harpies screaming at Sean Hannity?

doesn't that directly contradict the cleaning yourself up point?