Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Yes, Bin Laden gets Habeas Corpus

Pick whatever invisible being in the sky you like and I'll happily swear to that man, woman, or pasta dish that the McCain Campaign is going out of their way to both piss me off and miss the fucking point.

In a conference call this morning Randy Scheunemann, the McCain campaign's top foreign policy advisor let loose with the dumb:

"Sen. Obama is a perfect manifestation of a Sept. 10th mindset."

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! I can't fucking stand that. "Sept. 10th mindset" has to be the intellectual equivalent of running fingernails down a chalkboard; it manifests the same cringing response. Moreover, how fucking idiotic does a person have to be to think that the lasting, foundational beliefs which have sustained the United States for hundreds of years, for which innumerable patriots have fought and died, somehow changed when two planes hit a fucking building? Talk about a fucking fixation on imagery. Shut the fuck up. Rebuild the buildings. Shut THE FUCK up.

But that's not the worst of it. After the "Sept. 10 mindset" comments Stephen Hayes of the Weekly Standard decided to one up Scheunemann and pull a Scalia:

Hayes' asked if -- in the campaign's interpretation -- the Court's decision would mean that if Osama bin Laden was captured and imprisoned at Guantanamo, he too would be entitled to Habeas Corpus rights.

The McCain campaign's answer was yes.
And in case you missed it, the McCain campaign thinks "yes" is incorrect.

Ok, fuckers, OF COURSE Osama Bin Laden would be entitled to Habeas Corpus rights. THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT! That's why the United States is awesome, a beacon of lasting hope throughout the ages. The United States needs to, wants to, was founded upon the principles that even prisoners have rights; that even the most horrendous criminal is entitled to due process, to Habeas Corpus. Stalin did not afford prisoners Habeas Corpus. Hitler did not afford prisoners Habeas Corpus. Do you know why? Because STALIN AND HITLER WERE THE BAD GUYS! They are the dictators we do not want to emulate or strive to best. We don't want to be like them.

You see what I'm talking about? The Republican Presidential Nominee has advisors, friends, and supports who thing that Gulags were a good idea, that Stalin and Hitler are admirable figures who, while perhaps mistaken about the particulars, had the right idea when they just locked people up or killed them without trials, without Habeas Corpus, without any fucking oversight at all. The McCain campaign wants to emulate, does emulate, VILLIANS! Moreover? They think that emulating Stalin and Hitler makes them patriots!

You know what I think? I think they secretly fired up that particle colider already and the ensuing rip in space/time landed our collective asses in bizarro world. Because there's no other rational explanation for this shit.


_J_ said...

The only other option is time travelers.

kylebrown said...

Woo another awesome rant! This one was a bit more raw than the Supreme court dissent one, but the point still well made.

_J_ said...

I take it that "raw" means "Said 'fuck' a lot"?

Cause, man, I totally said "fuck" a lot.

Roscoe said...

as the leading Sith Expert on Bizzaro Worlds, I have to say this is totally not up to the trademark Bizzaro World, Htrae, standards.

And frankly, it shows. I demand a better quality of Bizzaro!

_J_ said...

Also, when I read that "Would Bin Laden get Habeas Corpus" section of the First Read post I literally banged my head on my desk.

What the hell else is someone supposed to do when they read that? You hit your head on something in the hope that you quickly forget it. Then if you can't forget it you get really mad.

And you can just picture these fuckers standing in a room somewhere talking in these really sarcastic tones. "Weeeell. I guess this means that eeeeveryone gets Habeas Corpus. Let's protect eeeveryone under the law. Oh, baby wants a lawyer? Baby wants due process?"

And not only do they think their being witty but also they think they're RIGHT.

Fuck damn it. Who the hell votes for these people?

kylebrown said...

Raw means there wasn't nearly as much citations. In the supreme court one you had quotes to strengthen your point. Here you just let it be known that all people are afforded the same rights regardless of all factors.

And yes I too say fuck that "September 10th mindset" fear mongering bullshit. That shit makes me froth at the mouth.

_J_ said...


Giuliani started talking.

Roscoe said...

See! if this were a REAL Bizarro world? Rudy tha G. would be making sense when he inevitably started talking.

kylebrown said...

I dream of day when Giuliani has faded away to be remembered as the marginal political figure he is. It will be a glorious day when I don't have to hear his name mentioned outside of some speck of trivia about the mayor of NYC when the planes hit.

_J_ said...

"I have been very concerned that the Democrats want to take a step back to the failed policies that treated terrorism solely as a law enforcement matter rather than a clear and present danger" - Rudy G.

Know what I love?

Those failed policies were the ones maintained by Rudy and Bush.

_J_ said...


So Rudy is saying that we don't want post-9/11 Democrats to act like pre-9/11 Republicans.


My thinking...it pains me.

_J_ said...

He's going to keep talking, isn't he?

“That bin laden would be given habeas corpus rights is startling,” Giuliani said, adding, “it shows where Democrats are going. There seems to be more concern about the rights of terrorists than American security.”

It hurts my brain.

_J_ said...

In an e-mail, entitled, “Giuliani v Giuliani: 1993 World Trade Center Bombing Case,” the Obama campaign points out that in 1993, Giuliani said at the time, per the New York Times, March 5, 1994: “Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani declared that the verdict ‘demonstrates that New Yorkers won't meet violence with violence, but with a far greater weapon -- the law.’”

kylebrown said...

"There seems to be more concern about the rights of terrorists than American security." How can a person possibly say these things???

There should be more concern with the rights of ALL people (terrorists included) over American security. A certain level of danger is a small price to pay to live in free society. The fore father new this when they went to war for it. American citizens should be no different

_J_ said...

It's neat that people who adopt the mantle of patriots and advocate the policies for which the United States was founded are portrayed as the bad guys.

That's awesome.