*click**click**click**click**click**click*[chat]*click*

....Because Diablo III is coming out at some point in the future

Jesse Helms: Respectable Asshole

Jesse Helms died. And if you don't know who Jesse Helms is, he is:

No to civil rights. No to abortion. No to communism. No to the United Nations. No to gay rights. No to arts funding with nakedness. No to school busing. No to the U.S. giving up the Panama Canal. No to a nuclear arms reduction treaty called Salt II.

You don't have to respect his ignorant, stupid positions. But, you can respect his being a stubborn ass and willingness to stand up for what he believed.

Obama and McCain could learn something from this fucker.

Obama: Blazing Saddles

Independence Day: Slave Fucking Assholes

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Viacom gets YouTube Records

The judge granted a Viacom motion that records of every video watched by YouTube users, including their login names and IP addresses, be turned over to the entertainment giant.

Source

So now someone at Viacom will now know exactly how many times a login name or IP Address watched "Miko Miko Nurse" or "Angry Cat". I guess that's a kind of victory.

Zero Punctuation: Webcomics

James Wallis: 'Brave N00B World' is Kitsch

When inane dipshits are granted access to higher education one result is an application of academic exploration, method, and know-how to bullshit like Buffy the Vampire Slayer; so, rather than fostering useful and meaningful exploration of the human condition we get shit like Buffy Studies. The latest example of this trite "academic" waste to come to my attention is N00b World Reorder by James Wallis, a "scientific" exploration of Azeroth, the primary fictional world in World of Warcraft.

Starting with James' first sentence, "I have spent the last few months on sabbatical, visiting a persistent fantasy world known as ‘Of Warcraft’." the tone of this academic diarrhetic is set as both faux-academic and tongue-in-cheek to the point of oral harm. It acknowledges that the "world" is fantasy yet also feigns a notion of "visitation", defining the duality of this rampant idiocy which serves as my primary source of psychotic fucking hatred.

James Wallis, henceforth referred to as "motherfucker", is incapable of setting a perspective for the damn article. Motherfucker measures distance based upon the movement of in-game characters, then utilizes "page 66 of one of the only authoritative works of Azerothian Studies to date (World of Warcraft Game Manual; Hutchens, Catalan et al, 2005)" as a means of comparing various race dimensions. Motherfucker does not break the fourth wall so much as motherfucker continually leaps back and forth through its shattered frame. But this duality, this inability to establish perspective, is not limited to only motherfucker's tone. No, the rampant, schizophrenic lurching is also evident in motherfucker's process.

After establishing a rough estimate of the size of the landmasses within the game, motherfucker then wraps that surface area around "an imaginary sphere" and calculates the sphere's diameter as "12 kilometres [sic]". From this motherfucker is able to determine the sphere's density, gravity, and its spacetime. These calculations are all certainly interesting, until motherfucker points out the main problem with the entire fucking thought experiment: "all this assumes that Azeroth is a standard astronomical body, and it isn’t".

That's right, you fucking guessed it. Motherfucker, after wasting his valueless time extrapolating bullshit, negates any progress he might have made by determining that WoW's World is flat. How did he determine this? By "swimming to its edge and jumping around like a prat" motherfucker found that "Azeroth is (a) flat, (b) finite and (c) rectangular". Gosh. It's almost as if Azeroth is merely a coded plane upon which a game occurs which is governed by the code of the fucking game rather than any sort of planetary body maintaining gravitational forces.

YOU MOTHER FUCKING, DIPSHIT, FAUX ACADEMIC, TRITE, SHIT-HEADED ASSHOLE!

Imparting real-world physical characteristics and mechanics onto game worlds for the sake of justifying a bullshit-stupid paper is fucking moronic. Period. Trite assessments of in-game gravitational forces by calculating the relation of gravity and biological composition required to ensure that Supremus does not break his non-existent hip bone is not academic, not insightful, not brilliant. It is the height of useless, ignorant, base, fanboy-level faux academic stupidity which ought to merit expulsion on the grounds that motherfucker is fundamentally confused about why the fuck academics do what they do.

We're not trying to kill time bullshitting. We're not trying to dick around while we avoid real jobs. We're trying to accomplish something. We're trying to make progress. And if you'd rather go play WoW than make some lasting improvement to mankind's shitty existence then just fuck off and die, James Wallis, rather than dragging academia down to your base level of sophomoric stupidity with your meaningless, wasteful kitsch.