No longer stopping for Squirrels.
So, the breaks on my car went out this morning. I was driving to work and a squirrel jumped out in front of me. So I slammed on the breaks to not hit the squirrel and I slowed down but at the end of my slowing, the point at which I should have stopped, the break pedal went all the way forward and felt very loose. Then I noticed that pressing on the break didn't bring about my stopping. So I coasted into the parking lot in front of St. Anne's Episcopal Church and called dad. Yadda Yadda Yadda I get to help him try to fix it this afternoon.
But I think the most important part of this story is that I did not hit the squirrel. Which is a gigantic argument against the notion of Karma. Because in not hitting the squirrel I ought to have received a bump up, and an upward bump is not "break line now leaks fluid".
When I got into work and told my boss about it he said, "Well, at least the squirrel wasn't hurt. Because then you would have to pay for the import of those very tiny surgical tools. You know, we have no deal with them." To which I replied, "Yeah, we only have a deal with the pigeons."
So let it be known that I will no longer break for squirrels. In fact, if a squirrel gets in front of my car from this point on I will speed up and veer towards it. They had their chance, and it cost me a break line. So once the Taurus can once again stop it and I shall exact our revenge by not stopping for squirrels.
8 comments:
so.. you're.. going to argue that Karma does not exist.. and.. from there, use that to rationalize vengence?
.. When the case can be made that your good karma bump was PRECISELY not hitting the squirrel. Becuase.. I mean.. with all you do that is vile and foul? a good Karma bump is simply avoiding digging yourself a deeper hole, Karmatically Speaking.
Also, avoiding the squirrel keeps it from being rebuilt, faster, stronger.
Because Squirrel Bionics gotta be dirt cheap. some rubber bands, some titanium bits, and a rabid, frenetic rodent....
Out for Hamman Blood? man.. you've really just dodged a bullet. A furry, frothing, brainless bullet.
If I remember correctly the tiny tools used in squirrel surgery are quite expensive.
Man, if Karma doesn't exist WHY NOT be vengeful?
Also, I think this means that I get to play the "I could have died" card for a little bit. And that card works at the speed of Guilt, which is far faster than an Interrupt.
Apparently one of the local car places can work on the break line tomorrow. Dad said this was not something he could fix, which is impressive.
Guilt does NOT have split second.
it's more of a cumulative upkeep card
Guilt DOES have cumulative upkeep.
$132 for new brake lines.
I'm hitting every squirrel I see from now on.
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