Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Smallville.

I watched the last seven minutes of a Smallville episode on Sunday. It is the only Smallville I have ever seen. This was my experience:

0:00 - Alright. 7 minutes till 10. I shall watch Smallville.
0:30 - Who is that?
0:45 - Who is she?
1:15 - Why are they both crying? This is an awful lot like Dawson's Creek.
1:25 - I think he was on Dawson's Creek.
1:45 - Why is there a giant clock behind them?
1:55 - oo. Scene change!
2:05 - Hmm. He is bald and angry. He must be Lex Luthor.
2:15 - Lex Luthor has a dad?
2:46 - Did Lex's dad steal his hair?
3:20 - Who the fuck are these people?
3:36 - Ah. We're in a barn now.
3:50 - That's not what Aquaman looks like.
4:13 - Why is cyborg not a cyborg?
4:37 - So that guy can run fast. He must be The Flash.
5:15 - "We're going to start an organization. Something with 'Justice' in it." NO YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!
5:35 - Who are you? You're cyborg. You're The Flash. You're Green Arrow. Who the fuck are you?
5:57 - No! Don't walk out of the barn! I need to know who you are!
6:05 - "Well, time to go save the world, guys." SHUT UP, DAWSON!
6:25 - Alright. Now it's just Clark Kent and some girl in the barn.
6:33 - Is that Lois?
6:40 - No, that can't be Lois.
7:00 - Well, that series sucks.

6 comments:

Roscoe said...

The series does suck. It's an interesting example of how a show can be an adaptation of previous material and shift over it's life to mimic the change from a Beast of the Week show to a terrible Teen Drama to well.. some new and hideous beast.

Lex? He's the Flash. The good Flash. The Animated Flash. And his dad is somewhere between SuperEvil and Bastard for Justice.

_J_ said...

Initially I'm sure the show made sense. "Let's make a show about Superman as a teenager in Smallville." Hey, great idea.

And then they realize that storyline is weak and uninteresting. So, Aquaman and Green Arrow show up. And then they go start the Justice League. Before Clark moves to Metropolis.

dumb dumb dumb.

Roscoe said...

Actually.. all that? happened this last season.... well.. AQ happened two seasons ago.. and came back..

It's really taken it's own continuity track.. and.. goes between really neat little twists... and MASSIVELY terrible ones.

Rosenbaum is one of the few reasons to spend an hour killing time watching it. Also the female cast, minus Kristen Kruek.

_J_ said...

You mean the Dawson Rejects?

Mike Lewis said...

I've seen a few episodes from its first season....

_J_ said...

Were you hooked?