Miley Cyrus Tentacle Porn writes itself.

Spurned by fans outraged by her embarrassing photo shoot Miley Cyrus stumbled drunkenly through the empty streets of Wellington, New Zealand, her last refuge from the public eye. Eager to find solitude and shelter she enter the unexpectedly unlocked doors of the first facility she could find and was shocked by the sight awaiting her.

Before her within a temperature-controlled tank bobbing slowly within the icy saline solution was the thawing carcass of a 900-pound colossal squid, the largest ever captured. Its eyes staring blanky ahead, its tentacles entwined within the fishing net which had brought about its doom.

"Miley Cyrus!", exclaimed Miley Cyrus, her heartbeat quickening with surprise. She had never seen a 900 pound colossal squid and the sight of its gigantic tentacles entranced her, ensuring that she did not hear the doors behind her slowly creep to a close and lock.

Miley Cyrus tentatively stepped towards the tank until she was within an arms length of the slowly warming glass. The room was silent except for the sound of water gently rippling as the 900 pound carcass bobbed slowly up and down. She reached out and placed her hand upon the glass, a small halo of moisture trickling out from her hand due to the condensation. Wanting a closer look at this gigantic tentacled creature she glanced around, her eyes finally settling upon a ladder a few feet away.

"Miley...Cyrus," thought Miley Cyrus to herself as she pondered her course of action. She then hastily ran to the ladder and scurried to the top, eager to inspect the 900 pound colossal squid.

Before Miley Cyrus lay the beast within the saline solution kept just above freezing; its pale pink flesh kept just above freezing. Its texture entranced Miley Cyrus. Was it hard, rubbery, soft? How did it feel? Throwing caution to the wind Miley Cyrus reached out, stopped momentarily, and then finally lay her hand upon the colossal squid.

Tentacles lashed quickly up into the air, the water set to an unexpected boil. Miley Cyrus instinctively withdrew her hand but to no avail. Her touch had awoken then 900 pound colossal squid for it had been, as all colossal squid are, a zombie.

Without a moment's hesitation Miley Cyrus was entangled in the beast's tentacles, drenched in the saline solution as she was pulled into the tank, her surprised yelp of "Miley Cyrus!" lost to the sound of the sloshing of water. Her embarrassing photo shoot quickly forgotten as the 900-pound colossal squid filled not only her mind but also, well, you can imagine what a 900-pound colossal squid would fill.

And so the 900 pound colossal zombie squid then had tentacle sex with Miley Cyrus. Because that is the sort of thing a 900 pound colossal zombie squid would do with Miley Cyrus. Also, there was a muted television in the corner playing Digimon at the time, which is an important fact to note.

The end!