Friday, June 27, 2008

Eyebabies!

For the J-Rage ...

16 comments:

Roscoe said...

Explain to me how this creepshow gets an Ice Skating Rink and a 12 lane Alley...

and also, Kyle, since you can do math.

Figure out how many Sharpies they had to go through to redact everything in that library.
300,000 volumes is a lotta sharpie ink.

Roscoe said...

There's a great line in there about how leaving is going against God's will..

and the follow up " You might die, becuase God can't use you any more."

Man, what kinda Omnipotent God is that?

_J_ said...

"They also complain that Pensacola plays down (or never mentions) an important fact: It is not accredited. For many students, that lack of accreditation has not been a problem; for some, however, it has meant starting college over elsewhere or being rejected by employers."

IF YOU ARE NOT ACCREDITED YOU DON'T FUCKING COUNT, ASSHOLES!!

And what butt-fuckingly stupid career paths are these shitheads following in which lack of accreditation is not a problem?!

Roscoe said...

Yeah.. it's chock full of fun, innit?

the Harvard and Yale line was great in the accreditation thing.

_J_ said...

You can focus on the social aspects, you can focus on the accreditation, you can focus on the rules...

But what the fuck is wrong with these fundamentally confused people? "God wants me to go to Pensacola"?! Who...what...WHO ARE YOU?! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?!

It's not even...AH....It's...DAH

"I'm gonna go shopping for a Christian College. And I don't care if it's accredited, because I'm Homer Simpson."

"I don't mind that their library is full of redacted books, because I'm Homer Simpson."

"They won't let me talk to girls, but that's ok because I'm Homer Simpson."

"Oh look! Extreemely potent idiocy. Well, it won't do any harm because I'm Homer GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH."

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

_J_ said...

"When prospective students asked about accreditation, Mr. Harding says the singers were instructed to tell them that Harvard and Yale are not accredited, either, and so accreditation doesn't matter."

WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT?!

How much does one have to NOT KNOW to formulate that sentence?

_J_ said...

"Mr. Arnold argues that because the college claims that its authority comes directly from God, students who feel mistreated are put in an extremely awkward position."

HATE!

How is that awkward feeling manifest? "The college says its authority comes from God, so if I go against the college I'm going against God."

Who thinks that?!!?

No, you know what? That's not "think"; there is no "think" to that. That's just words in head fat. That's a step below Macaws.

That has to be it. Pensacola does not have 5,000 human students. Pensacola has 5,000 plumage deprived macaws hopping within its halls.

There...that's better...it's just macaws. No need t hate. They're just macaws.

Roscoe said...

I like the unsubtle sexism and the ability to make up rules on the spot, and assign demerits.

_J_ said...

I'm impressed by the vocabulary their macaws have.

Roscoe said...

Don't be. They don't know what they're saying, they're just mimicing sounds they heard.

kylebrown said...

It actually hurts me to know that people exist in our country that would subject themselves to this. These are actual people who voluntarily choose to have their rights taken from them. It hurts to even believe such a thing possible, let alone know it actually exists.

_J_ said...

Kyle, that's why you have to understand them to be macaws.

If people attended Pensacola? I would have to quit my job right now and spend July trying to make sense of it. But that would be a task whose goal was impossible.

So, macaws. Not people, plumage deprived macaws.

Florida has lots of nuts. Macaws enjoy nuts. Therefore, Pensacola makes sense.

Roscoe said...

I'm impressed that the macaws have learned one thing.

Don't Trust Women. Don't let them leave, don't let them work, basicallly.. Don't Let Them.

smart birds, those macaws.

_J_ said...

The people who run the place are not macaws. The "students" are macaws.

And, yes, the Bible is mostly sexist. Which makes contemporary Christian women just the most adorable little ignorant shits imaginable.

Roscoe said...

I just wanna make eyebabies.

but.. I think Occular Intercourse is achieved differently....

they'd know this if they had a good sex-ed course.

_J_ said...

As far as I can tell "makin' eyebabies" requires only that one look at someone with the intent to fuck.

I've made thousands of eyebabies.