James Dobson: Cognitive Dissonance Immune
If you read this survey of 35,000 Americans by The Pew Research Center's Forum on Religion & Public Life you'll probably come away from it with both an idea of what 35,000 Americans think about religion and a severe migraine. Why the migraine? Well, try this one:
There is more than one true way to interpret the teachings of my religion.
64% of Protestants agree.
77% of Catholics agree.
Ok, the foundation of Protestantism, the Protestant Reformation was the idea that Catholicism did not have a monopoly on religious truth. According to Protestantism: The Bible, Church teachings, Christianity are open to interpretation. So, really, to answer that question in a manner consistent with one's beliefs as stated by one's religious affiliation? The response ought to have been that 100% of Protestants agree while 0% of Catholics agree.
This one is even better:
Many Religions can lead to eternal life.
66% of Protestants agree.
79% of Catholics agree.
Fine, except 0% of John 14:6 agrees! "Jesus said to him, `I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.'"
You see my point: Religious laypeople (Or "pewfillers") do not know what the god-damned fucking hell they're talking about. They waft about on their ignorance mindlessly following and changing rules they do not understand. Which is just fucking terrific when you couple it with this shit James Dobson said yesterday about Obama:
"I think he's deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own worldview, his own confused theology."
Are you fucking kidding me? Contemporary Religion is a deliberate distortion of the traditional understand of the Bible. Fuck attempting to assess what "traditional" means in a historical context. How about we just focus on reading comprehension and go from there? Regardless of your own personal feelings about Fred Phelps let's at least acknowledge that he read the fucking Bible. If that survey is any indication at least 35,000 people haven't even done that.
Obama's point, which James Dobson apparently missed, is that, well, I'll just quote him:
"Even if we did have only Christians in our midst, if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in the schools? Would we go with James Dobson's or Al Sharpton's?"
Different factions of Christianity have different beliefs. So to apply one strict Christianity we would need one strict Christianity, which we obviously lack because apparently the only person capable of reading the fucking book and doing what it says is A.J. Jacobs, and he's a fucking tool.
7 comments:
I couldn't agree more with what Obama said, and James Dobson needs to go away.
"How about we just focus on reading comprehension and go from there?"
HAHA
I like this... I really do..
'cept.. the Lionizing of the Phelps in a rant about reading comprehension.
He hasn't read or comprehended the Bible that well, either. He just happens to align with some aspects of it that everyone else ignores.
it's frustrating, becuase it requires you to look INTO him to get that.. and.. doing so only infuriates one.
"He just happens to align with some aspects of it that everyone else ignores."
Yup. He read the Bible, found parts which supported something he already believed, and formed a little cult around them offering "God" and "Teh Bible" as a foundation. Which is what they all do. And that is not a rhetorical exaggeration but rather a statement of fact.
I really like Fred Phelps because he accurately portrays Christianity as the socially estranged shamble of baseless rules that it truly is. He's doing the part of Christianity that the fuckwits who just hold bake sales ignore. And while he's concentrating on a very small part of the whole of Christianity he's still a part of Christianity. He is not incorrect; he is a specialist.
We need more Fred Phelps, not less. And at the very least we need another phelpsian cult to emerge who concentrates on Leviticus 19:19 and Deuteronomy 22:11
"Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee." - Leviticus 19:19
"Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together." - Deuteronomy 22:11
God Hates Garments of Mingled Linen and Wool!!
Also, I'm pretty sure "Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind" means that God hates mixed breeds of dogs. Which means that Bowser and Kirby are fucked.
You leave my dogs out of this!
Just imagine if you put little linen and woollen coats on them while you fed them shrimp and watched Will and Grace.
A gigantic flaming chasm would open in your living room.
.... a lot of that's just due to the seeking out and watching voluntarily of Will and Grace.
Seriously. Don't blame God for that.
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