Obama: Remove Dick from Hand

You could feel it. The ramping frustration of the informed electorate who watched for the past seven years as the Constitution was dismantled and rampant idiocy festered within the confines of Washington D.C. Then hope which steadily grew through the primary season climaxing when Obama won the nomination. A momentary relief at a chance for hope with opportunity on the horizon and a self-asserted assurance of victory. And now? Inkling trepidation. We're worried.

We're really worried.

We're watching as Obama and McCain lob shots at one another. No deadly blows yet, merely minor skin irritation. But we see the strategies developing during the lull before the conventions. The first trimester of the general election nears its close and we're all teetering on a razor's edge of fright at a possibility we thought entirely unlikely: Obama may keep his dick in his hand.

This past week Obama rejected General Wesley Clark's true comments. Obama continued walking his political tight-rope, respecting John McCain while politely questioning his positions. McCain embraces the politics of fear while Obama preaches hope. McCain manipulates his own positions while Obama is labeled the flip-flopper. McCain runs a campaign while Obama phones the Clintons. And we're all shitting ourselves over the possibility that either Obama isn't ready for a general election, or Obama isn't ready to fuck McCain.

Obama is leading in the polls, Obama has more money, Obama is right. But Obama supporters, the people who are paying attention, are starting to worry. Obama isn't fighting back, he's not going for blood. Obama is keeping his dick in his hand, offering rhetoric and change while turning the other cheek to McCain's bullshit. It sounds noble, it seems noble, it's damned idealistically compelling...but it's lacking. It's politics without balls. It's fine for a primary, when you're simply trying to win over people who agree with you. But a general election? How will it play?

Perhaps Obama is still finding his feet; perhaps Obama is saving himself for after the conventions, warming his dick in his hand before he lets loose with some rampant political fucking of McCain's doddering corpse. I've no idea. But for the time being you can sense that we're all just a little bit worried that each passed shot, each turned cheek, may undo this seemingly delicate little package which is Obama's chance at the presidency.

We're not primarily looking for blood, not even all that interested in seeing Obama fuck McCain for fucking's sake. We've just seen truth trampled, ignored, and abandoned for nearly eight years. Now we would like to see truth brazenly extolled and our nation returned to something resembling its former state. And as Americans our default path to political truth involves a touch of primal political combat. It's entirely possible that our trepidation is misplaced and Obama knows what he's doing. But after eight fucking years...you can hardly fault us for worrying and harboring a touch of the bloodlust.