Semicolon '08

In all of this talk about economics, society, energy, and racism I think the 2008 Presidential Campaign has ignored what I feel is the most important issue affecting average, everyday Americans. Perusing a forum this image sparked my imagination and rekindled my fervor for this most fundamental concern:


HYPHENS SUCK!

The above protestor obviously understand this as he stands in opposition to the slogan "Baby-Murdering Muslims for President". I, too, fundamentally oppose "Baby-Murdering". In what way does that or any hyphen provide clarity? How can one know what is truly communicated by that unruly bastard of grammar and insult to word construction?

No, my friends, the time has come to make a stand; the stand taken by this Ohio man as well as many others. The time has come to declare our grammatical allegiance in this election. And so I unveil my own allegiance with the following hastily made logo:



Semicolon has been our steadfast friend and ally throughout our grammatical lives. Semicolon conjoins related independent clauses which are themselves not conjoined with conjunctions. Semicolon conjoins independent clauses which have been linked with a transitional phrase or a conjunctive adverb. Semicolon stands brazenly between items in a series which themselves contain internal punctuation. Above all else semicolon is used to separate independent clauses which are conjoined with coordinating conjunctions when the clauses have internal commas which might be misread due to the ambiguity of the comma.

Semicolon has no ambiguity! Semicolon does not waver in its meaning, its purpose, its eternal utility in our average and everyday existence as grammatical beings! Now is not the time to waver in our allegiance! Now is not the time to manifest indifference towards our grammatical futures! Now is not the time to be hyphens! Now is the time to be Semicolons! Now is the time to stand strong between the independent clauses of our lives! Now is the time to declare in one unanimous voice our support for Semicolon '08!

Because Fuck Hyphens; That's Why!