Friday, June 24, 2011

New York Gay Marriage: Faggots Rejoice!

In a 33 to 29 vote, New York has become the sixth state to legalize gay marriage, the result of a realization that denying human beings a basic rights is probably not a good thing. Some notable quotes from the Huffington Post article:

The sticking point over the past few days: Republican demands for stronger legal protections for religious groups that fear they will be hit with discrimination lawsuits if they refuse to allow their facilities to be used for gay weddings.

Because when passing a law to undermine close-minded, ignorant, fucktarded intolerance it's important to bolster strong legal protections for the continuation of said close-minded, ignorant, fucktarded intolerance.

"Fuck it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing" - Republican Roy McDonald

Fuck it, indeed, sir.

New York has no residency requirement for obtaining a marriage license, meaning the state could become a magnet for gay couples across the country who want to have a wedding in Central Park, the Hamptons, the romantic Hudson Valley or that honeymoon hot spot of yore, Niagara Falls.

There's a joke to be made about "gay magnets", and some relation to be made between Niagara Falls and golden showers...but I just can't get the bat off my shoulder.

So, /grats to all the homos out there who can now enter into holy matrimony, thereby gaining power of attorney and hospital visitation rights for their butt buddies.

Video of the vote.


_J_ said...

I was trying to craft a joke relating the legalization of gay marriage in New York to those old Pace Picante Sauce commercials. Something like…ok…so imagine that a bunch of gay couples are hanging out, going through one another’s wedding albums. While flipping through the pages of another’s album one gay guy says, “Wait, isn’t that central park?” And the couple says, “Yeah, we were married in New York City.”

Then this really old, crotchety (ha!), gay couple would exclaim, “NEW YORK CITY!” And for some reason this guy dressed as a western-timey sheriff, which I guess isn’t the most unlikely occurrence when a bunch of gays are hanging out, would say, “Get the rope.”

Then they’d sit around eating nachos, cause nachos are awesome.

And then they’d have butt sex, cause they’re gay.

_J_ said...

I wonder what my life would be like if I didn’t sit around thinking up jokes relating gay marriage to 90s salsa commercials.

Caleb said...

Pick up the Pace.

Roscoe said...

Has everyone seen the quote from the 64 year old Republican who brought it into striking distance?

Not the guy who was the final vote but the one before that?

"You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn't black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing," McDonald, 64, told reporters.
"You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, fuck it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing.
"I'm tired of Republican-Democrat politics. They can take the job and shove it. I come from a blue-collar background. I'm trying to do the right thing, and that's where I'm going with this."

_J_ said...

That is an excellent quote.