iHate Macs.
I find that working on a Mac can be described with the following picture:
On one side is you. On the other side is the information you desire. Between you and the information is a retarded person. This retarded person doesn't speak your language, nor does it think in a logical manner. After all, it is retarded. So the task when working on a Mac is to think like a retarded person and so obtain the information you desire.
This morning the lady from the catalog printing company came to get our catalog files. She brought an external hard drive with her. So they hooked up the external hard drive to the retarded person and then were consternated because the retarded person could not write to it. Why? Well, the retarded person cannot write to the NTFS file system, because why the fuck would it be able to write to the most common file system? So I tell them that they'll need to copy the catalog to the server from the retarded person and then hook the external hard drive up to a PC to access it. I unhook the external hard drive so that I can attach it to a PC and the retarded person beeps at me. Apparently the retarded person gets very upset if you unplug a USB device without telling it first. Because, as a USB device, it wasn't designed to be used as a plug and play device. It's designed to be integral to the stability of the retarded person's hardware configuration.
After the retarded person stops beeping at me and shooting up warning windows they copy the catalog files over to the server. When they do this the retarded person creates a ._ file for every file in the catalog. So for every image, InDesign file, etc. there is a ._ file which, presumably, reminds the retarded person in very, very simple terms what it's supposed to fucking do with it. What's neat, though, is that a few of these ._ files "could not be read" by the PC or the server. So instead of just selecting the main folder for the catalog and copying it all over to the external hard drive I had to go through manually and delete the ._ files and then select the files which were not the corrupted ._ files to move over.
What was neat is that the catalog lady kept talking about how great retarded people are for designing things. The problem is that is a GOD DAMNED FUCKING LIE because PCs and Retarded People run the EXACT SAME fucking programs.
Yes, certainly, using Photoshop on a PC is worlds inferior to using Photoshop on a retarded person. OH WAIT! IT'S THE SAME DAMN THING! But no, you see, PCs have two mouse buttons, and two mouse buttons are inferior to one mouse button. Also, the PC isn't full of ._ files, which are integral to the design process.
12 comments:
I wonder why they ever decided to accomodate a mac user in that office. It may have been ignorance: anything that LOOKS and generally ACTS like a computer must therefore satisfactorally perform the functions of a computer in harmony with the other computers. No problem, except, you know, what actually happens.
But maybe working on a mac is like a religious choice, and your boss can't tell you not to use it. Which is why it might be time to wear a shirt that says "Hail Satan #1" and go flood the server with little txt files, because apparently making people angry and uncomfortable and causing mischief is ok and protected by some kind of law.
as opposed to Satan #2 ... that guy just sucks
What bugs me is the audacity with which Macs are designed. It's as if we exist in a world of square holes and square pegs and then Steve Jobs comes along and says, "I'm going to make round pegs and one button mice and you can all just deal with it!"
Free Market Capitalism is crappy and all, but one of the more crappy things is stuff like this. Where we have an established system for doing things and then this other thing appears and does things for, seemingly, the sake of being different.
Why the hell does a person have to eject a USB Hard Drive from a Mac? Is it too convenient to just make them plug and play and the OS automatically detects the connection / removal? Who had a problem with that? Who complained?
I know that Steve Jobs didn't "come along" and he was there from the beginning. But he lost and he ought to shut up and put two buttons on his mice and make his USB ports truly plug and play.
The problem is that Mac was the first company to aggressively market mp3 players to the masses, and frankly that is the only thing that saved them from the abyss of bankruptcy.
Had this never happened, you wouldn't see ANY Macs in the business world.
I hate iPods more now.
hate the iPHONE, man! Hate the iPHONE. It will only lead to greater retard propigation.
When the internet was down this morning I kept thinking about how I could get online if I had an iPhone.
What's worse is trying to show a 20 years retired professor of Spanish how to copy files his brand new iMac laptop...
Oh, that would be terrible.
Man endures thumb surgery to better enable iPhone use
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