Saturday, February 2, 2008

Actual [chat]

This is a [chat]. Were this a potential [chat] it would not be a [chat], as, rather it would be a potential [chat]. To be a [chat] it must be a [chat] rather than a potential [chat].

Apply this to your world view.

35 comments:

MA17 said...

I finished No More Heroes tonight, and I'm thinking of posting some impressions, but 1) I really need to be doing homework and 2) I feel like I should finish Killer 7 before I start talking about Suda 51 like I know anything, and frankly, I think that it's impossible to have anything meaningful to say about NMH without talking about Suda (a fact which, I believe, reflects poorly on the game's appeal).

MA17 said...

Oh, I mentioned finishing No More Heroes because I was curious if anyone else was playing.

_J_ said...

I think that Roscoe wanted to play it and at one time felt compelled to use it as a justification for some wonky position he maintained about the Wii.

Caleb said...

wonky

_J_ said...

Also, this weekend my Curse of Doom did 30,000 damage to The Curator.

The base damage of Curse of Doom is 4200. I have the spell Amplify Curse, which amplifies Curse of Doom's damage by 50%. The Curse of Doom went off during The Curator's Evocation phase during which damage inflicted on him is increased by 200%. I'm fairly certain that the Curse of Doom was a critical strike as well.

So, 30,000 damage. Kinda neat. Usually on bosses Curse of Doom with Amplify Curse does about 10,000.

Caleb said...

I was just caused to remember landoverbaptist.org

_J_ said...

I was just caused to remember landoverbaptist.org

GET YOUR ASS TO CHURCH!

_J_ said...

Jack Thompson defends Mass Effect

...bwa?

_J_ said...

How does a perfectionist deal with subjectivity?

MA17 said...

Finds a real-life equivalent to saving room in the PC box for every form of Burmy and Wormadam. (aka goes stark raving mad)

_J_ said...

There is supposed to be room for all of them if the only thing you use your boxes for is storing one copy of each.

Why they couldn't provide 15 extra boxes, though, I don't understand.

_J_ said...

Vagina Power

_J_ said...

We ran a 25 person instance tonight in WoW (Gruul's Lair). I had second highest overall damage for the entire instance and first highest damage for the final boss.

And it's just WoW and it doesn't matter and games are stupid and I ought to be out farming beets or doing something useful with my time.

But I thought it was still pretty spiffy to be able to do that much damage. :)

Caleb said...

You're the Regional Spiffstermeister.

_J_ said...

Bouncy.
Bouncy.
Bouncy.
Bouncy.

Roscoe said...

Holy shit?

So... Joseph Gordon Levitt is in negotiations for the GI Joe movie... in negotiations as in nearly locked, apparently. But IMDB doesn't tell his role.

I'm hearing Cobra Commander. And I don't know what to think about this.

.... doubly so, when the floating plot synopsis makes it sound like Destro is a bigger player..

Hrmn.

_J_ said...

A GI Joe Movie? How would that work?

I mean, wouldn't it just be a war movie only the token hot chick looks kinda like Lady Jane?

Granted, that's all it would take to get me to watch it. But would that really be enough to distinguish it as GI Joe as opposed to military movie in which characters have names of GI Joe characters?

_J_ said...

Fingernails are weird.

Roscoe said...

They would be fighting Cobra. and Zaratan's Dreadknoks. Xamot and Tomax. DR. MIND BENDER!

also, they'd have a kick ass theme.

_J_ said...

But how would it be different from, say, the token army in Transformers?

Except for the names.

MA17 said...

Not everyone in GI Joe was the standard military type, especially on the Cobra side. I'll agree that there's a danger of just making a war movie with Joe character names, but the fact is that a ninja and a gay sailor could pop out and punch a guy with KISS makeup at any time in a Joe movie.

_J_ said...

The more I think about it the more GI Joe seems like a very, very cheap source for a movie.

It's just an army comic/cartoon/series. Sure the characters have names and personalities but they're all somewhat regular people restricted to average human abilities and weaponry.

Yes, one of the characters could be a gay sailor and a ninja. But these are not unique entities with powers and abilities specific to the GI Joe universe. It's just a gay sailor and a ninja.

The enemies weren't that compelling either. Oh, it's Combra Commander. He has a helmet. But he doesn't do anything except say, "I am teh enemy."

What would they do to make this movie a GI Joe movie as opposed to just an army movie?

-Character Names
-Character Personalities
-Costume Designs
-Guns that inexplicably shoot lasers

That's GI Joe.

It's not like Iron Man or Spider Man or Hulk or Super Man or Batman where there is a wealth of unique and compelling material from which to draw.

It's just an Army doing what armies do. Or, maybe a special ops group doing what a special ops group does.

But once one removes the aesthetic differences? I don't think GI Joe has anything unique unto itself.

_J_ said...

Which is something one could say about anything if one one delved deep enough into it.

But with Batman comes Gotham and the enemies from within the Batman Universe who have unique abilities and personalities. Spiderman? Same deal. One could reduce Spiderman and Batman down to the same formula. But Batman vs. Joker will play out much differently than Spiderman vs. Venom due to the unique aspects of these characters.

GI Joe? Not so much. What was Cobra even doing except being evil?

I think this calls for a wiki search. Because I want to know if there was a deep, complex history behing Combra Commander of if he was just a guy in a helmet who, in my understanding, represented token american enemy #1.

_J_ said...

For a comic/cartoon created to sell Action Figures they sure did write a stupid fucking backstory for the main villian.

"Not much is known of Cobra Commander's past, but in his early career he was a used car salesman. While struggling to keep his business afloat, he learned that a car crash had taken the life of his older brother, Dan, who had been driving drunk. Embittered by this tragedy, Cobra Commander became obsessed with vindicating his brother's death. He took specific interest in the surviving son of the family killed in the accident with Dan. That man was the soldier better known as Snake-Eyes."

Are you fucking kidding me?

_J_ said...

"Cobra Commander returned to his domestic life, but after his wife gave birth to a son, Billy, she found out about what had happened in Japan. He took the child and left his wife, becoming increasingly paranoid and blaming all his problems on "the system". He traveled across America with Billy, seeking out people who shared his desire to topple big business and the government, using money he had earned from pyramid schemes to attract followers.

He then moved to the town of Springfield..."

Are you fucking kidding me?!

_J_ said...

So far this week all of my rants have been written within 58 minutes.

I think that is kind of neat. I start the post, write it, and then when I go back to change the post time it is always 58 minutes after when I first made the post.

Caleb said...

in 58 minutes or within 58 minutes?

_J_ said...

Within 58 minutes. They're actually posted 58 minutes after I first create them. Within the span of 58 minutes they are completed.

within

_J_ said...

We're all going to die a terrible death.

If only this report had been released before the Florida Primary...

_J_ said...

Look at this picture of John McCain and Schwarzenegger.

On a scale of one to dead how bedraggled does McCain look?

Roscoe said...

Goddamnit, Jay. You don't get to start venting about Larry Hama GI Joe comics, and then move on before I get a chance to reply.

You just don't get that option.

As for the storylines, they're absolutely ABSURDLY complex and tangled, and they all revolve around Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, their Arishikage clan, and Cobra Commander's pre-terrorist life. ALL of them.

But the beauty is they are virtually never mentioned in the cartoons.

The publishing/animation histories on this one are weird, too... different companies at different times, different content.

_J_ said...

In my understanding it wasn't a comic so much as it was a marketing tool for action figures. It wasn't a cartoon so much as it was a marketing tool for action figures.

Which probably explains why Combra Commander amassed millions of dollars through a pyramid scheme.

A diabolically clever and evil pyramid scheme, no doubt.

But, still, a fucking pyramid scheme.

_J_ said...

Finally, a use for retarded people.

Also, a pet bazaar?

_J_ said...

"Inflation’s low. Productivity’s high, but there are certainly some troubling signs, serious signs that the economy is weakening and that we’ve got to do something about it," said Bush.

Whoa there, George. What's with your being aware of your surroundings? Groundhog day isn't until tomorrow. Shouldn't you be asleep in your log right now?

MA17 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.