The Six Trapped Utah Miners Died.

I wish to register a complaint.

Remember August 6th, 2007 when six Utah miners became trapped in a coal mine? Remember the media frenzy that descended upon the town presenting up-to-the-minute updates with no information at all? Remember how the story lasted for a month until it faded away?

This morning I went back through the articles written about the event.

Aug 19, 2007: Miners may never be found.
Aug 21, 2007: Miners probably dead.
Aug 21, 2007: Miners all but left for dead.
Aug 27, 2007: No signs of life.
Sept 1, 2007: Search ends with no remaining hope.

It has been 197 days since August 6th, 2007. Do you know what has not been writen? An article saying that the six trapped Utah Miners Fucking Died.

Inductive reasoning tells us that the six trapped Utah miners are dead. They are human beings trapped in a hole for 197 days without food, water, or oxygen. The miners are not still somehow fine, the miners are not left for dead, probably dead, presumed dead, or pining for the fjords. The six trapped Utah Miners are fucking dead.

So why have there been no articles stating this?

I think this illustrates the Humeian hatred some people have for inductive reasoning. We can argue that we do not know that the six trapped Utah miners stuck in a hole without food, water, or oxygen for 197 days are dead. We cannot observe their being dead. We cannot demonstrate their dead by banging their corpses upon the counter at a pet shop. So, some maintain, we can argue that some obscure and unrealistic sequence of events happend and that the six trapped utah miners are now living with mole people, or with Jesus and Elvis on Mars, or some stupid shit like that. We can employ the same tortured logic used to justify belief in an invisible sky daddy, unicorns, and eskimos.

But the fact of the matter is that, to quote Monty Python:
They're not pinin! They have passed on! These miners are no more! They have ceased to be! They've expired and gone to meet their maker. They're a stiff! Bereft of life, they rest in peace! If you hadn't nailed them to the perch they'd be pushing up the daisies! They're metabolic processes are now history! They're off their twig! They've kicked the bucket! They've shuffled off their mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined in the bleedin' choir invisible! They are ex-miners!!

And I think it would be really keen if the people at sites like christianpost.com stopped saying stupid shit like, "I personally think giving up on the search is horrible....how do you think the families of the trapped men feel...what if , what if there is a chance that they are still alive waiting for their rescue" and admitted that despite their prayers and hopes and idiotic, bat-shit stupid arguments of "Maybe possibly after 197 days without food, water, and oxygen they're still super alive!" the Utah Miners fucking died. God is not saving them. Jesus is not saving them. Your prayers went unanswered.

The six trapped Utah miners fucking died.

Admit it.

And, no, letting the story fade away is not a silent admission of their death, of a failure on the part of your and their invisible sky daddy. You don't get to sulk off to the shadows when things do not go your way. If they had been rescued? There would have been a plethora of articles expounding the virtues of prayer and hope, of faith and perseverance.

But your mystical bullshit didn't fucking work this time.

So let's see some public admissions of the failure instead of just sulking off into silence like you always do. You worthless little childish shits.