Democrats, Pledge Delegates: STOP IT!

I really like MSNBC's First Read political blogy posty thing. First Read posts are full of insight, quotes, statistics, and Chuck Todd being awesome. This First Read regarding how superdelegates feel about Hillary being a bitch ends with a quote from an uncommitted superdelegate:

"Uncommitted delegates can come out and say, 'If you don't stop this now, we won't vote for you'."

In complying with the Democratic Process uncommitted superdelegates could utilize their position to influence the debate between Obama and Clinton and so hopefully put an end to this bickering by threatening to not vote for someone. While these threats might put an end to the bickering and perhaps bring the debate back to topics of substance I have a different suggestion for remaining undeclared superdelegates:

MAKE UP YOUR MIND, STOP BEING A PUSSY, AND DECLARE WHO YOU ARE VOTING FOR!

Let's look at the numbers:

Obama
P Delegates: 1408
S Delegates: 218
T Delegates: 1626

Clinton
P Delegates: 1251
S Delegates: 255
T Delegates: 1506

Since 2024 delegates are needed Obama requires 398 more delegates and Clinton requires 518 more delegates. Out of a total of 800 super delegates 327 have yet to declare an allegiance to either candidate.

So how about instead of being indecisive, opportunistic, manipulative assholes towards the Democratic party you undeclared superdelegates find a microphone and declare who you are fucking voting for. Sure, if all 327 of you go to either Obama or Clinton that will still not end this damn fight. But, you could at least remove the superdelegates from the speculation and present the party with a complete picture of delegate counts for either candidate and allow us all to move the fuck on.

Not declaring who you are voting for is not helping anyone other than yourself. I'm sure you all know who you would like to vote for already; it's not a difficult decision. At this point? You're not pondering possibilities and assessing the qualities of either candidate; you're just waiting to see who is more likely to win. You're allowing the Democratic party to destroy itself out of a selfish desire to attach your proverbial wagon to the winning horse and so personally benefit.

If you're willing to not attach your name to the candidate, if you're willing to let this fight continue, if you're willing to allow the Democrats to destroy one another and so allow John "Fucking" McCain to win in the fall, if you're willing to put your well-being before the well-being of the party, the country, the American People?

Then you really need to rethink your priorities, asshole.