Monday, September 10, 2007

Uterus ≠ Collapsed Coal Mine

The Republican Presidential Debate on Fox News reran this weekend. And since I really, really hate myself I watched part of it while consuming food. I had the great fortune of tuning in during an abortion question to see Mike Huckabee make the single most retarded pro-life argument in the history of stupid fucking pro-life argments. Here it is, in all it's splendor:

"The reason this country has been extraordinarily interested in what’s going on with those miners out in Utah is because even though we don’t know them, they represent us in the sense that they are human beings, and we don’t know their faith. We need to show the same kind of respect for life whether a child is in the womb or whether in a coal mine or in a long-term care facility. It’s about the fact that in our culture the greatest testament that we can give is that we have a(n) undying respect for every human life as having intrinsic worth and value."

Did you tense up when you read, "those miners in Utah"? Cause I almost threw up. Because you know what's coming next.

Not only is he using the Utah Minor disaster as a delightful rhetorical point to support has asinine view of human life, but he also thinks that this:



is not only a person, but is also just as valuable as those trapped miner in Utah. Hell, put a little headlamp on that zygote and Huckabee probably couldn't tell the difference between it and a 50 year old father of three who died trapped underground in a pitch-black coal mine of dehydration and starvation.

"Respect for every human life," indeed. Too bad those dead miners weren't available for a photo shoot.

Edit:
For our friend Mike Huckabee.


Now the comparison makes sense, you dim-witted chucklehead.

20 comments:

Mike Lewis said...

i love it when old white men talk about abortion and reproductive rights as if they 1) know what the fuck they are talking about 2) have some stake in the discussion.

i mean - they do have a stake because they are trying to buy votes from stupid people.

_J_ said...

I changed the title.

I like the idea that Huckabee was comparing a Uterus to a Collapsed Coal Mine.

_J_ said...

I also like the idea that zygotes have little headlamps so they can see what's going on. Problem being that Zygotes don't have eyes, or nerves, or brains, or concepts of self, or life.

But, I mean, overlook all those things and they're basically little miners.

Mike Lewis said...

zygotes with little lamps is very funny

it is like something you would see in a 1950s Disney cartoon made for health class

Anonymous said...

Well, I for one am thankful that your mother didn't have you sucked out when you were one of those. Since you weren't a person, and everything.

Kylebrown said...

Exactly, at the time he was not a person. Just like 200 years ago none of the people living today were people.

I think maybe you should be punished for having your period, as every month since you were a teenager you killed a tiny "person."

Or perhaps every male human ever should be punished for killing literally billions of tiny "people" every night (or morning) when they masturbate.

Sorry ma'am but your shock tactics won't work here. We see right through them.

_J_ said...

I don't think there is any sucking involved at the Zygote stage. I think at that point it can be taken care of with a pill, or a well-timed sneeze.

I love the "you were once a zygote therefore etc." argument. Completely bypassing the actual discussion and relying on rhetoric and dipshittery is delightful.

_J_ said...

"Well, I for one am thankful that your mother didn't have you sucked out when you were one of those. Since you weren't a person, and everything."

And what does that even mean? You are thankful that my mother didn't have my sucked out since I wasn't a person? What sense does that make?

And I'm not even addressing the potentiality argument. I just want to know how the statement itself can be seen as sensible.

Roscoe said...

Kyle... Would you be willing to don a uniform and act as BlogoSecurity? We'll get you a segway and everything.

MA17 said...

Since most people don't think about coal miners until they're on the news, maybe zygotes should get some air time if they want people to care about them.

Andrew said...

we can start a pro-coal miner campain.

we can hold up signs with pictures aborted coal miners on them.

_J_ said...

For those interested, thinkaware, is from thinkaware.blogspot.com. A blog about, "A journey in conservative politics and home education."

Because if you allow your children to go to public school they might learn something. And if you vote conservative enough times maybe we'll take back the vote from the blacks and the women.

Kylebrown said...

Home education is something that completely blows my mind. How a parent can subject their child to that form of social retardation is beyond me.

Going to school is much less about the education you receive as it is a social education, in which you learn how to interact with your peers in both formal and informal settings.

The reason that home schooled kids tend to be outcasts when they do go to public schools as most tend to do at some point in time, is because they were never exposed to a real social environment outside the home.

_J_ said...

I'll completely agree. Unless one's child is going to spend their entire life in a bubble it doesn't make sense to raise them in a bubble.

Caleb said...

I contend that I was retarded socially by attending public school.

_J_ said...

That's cause you went to that one school and had that one Social Studies Teacher who thought he was awesome and everyone's friend.

Mike Lewis said...

there is retarded socially and than there is retarded socially.

Caleb said...

where? where??

_J_ said...

I'm trying to remember the name. It was on that one t-shirt...

Damn it. This is going to result in me getting on google maps.

_J_ said...

Sullivan